1 Mini Crazy Introduces Himself To You The Reader!

Hi my name is Kureji Kayaba, I am currently 7 and am a beta tester for my fathers game. Now before you go asking 'what's the game' Like you stupid commenters do, the game is known as Sword Art Online. Also known as murder kill simulator 2022. Right now I am slaughtering some monsters on the eleventh floor. Before you go saying 'but the beta testers only got to floor ten' Well to that I have to say fuck you and your official documents my dad literally owns the game, of course he wouldn't have his own son's avatar tracked. What do you think he is a soncon? I spit on that idea. Also another thing to know about me. I see glimpses of the future. And now before you go asking 'do you know that the official game is going to kill you if you die in it?' Of course i fucking knew. Who do you think my father tells about his murder fantasies? My mother? She's dead. Apparently she was quite the looker though. She was English. She had supposedly, green hair and eyes. Now the reason I say supposedly is because I never met her. She died in childbirth. I only know she had green hair and pale skin for a fact because i inherited them from her. So if you want to know exactly how i look I have my mother's green hair and pale skin, along side the golden metallic eyes from my father. Where was I? Oh yes murder fantasies. Me and my father are both insane. Well he's more the 'my wife is dead therefore nobody other than my family deserves happiness' kind of crazy. My kind of crazy is cool though. I have voices in my head and am a sociopath. I only have limited emotions, mostly minor excitement and happiness whilst fighting, though those minor emotions to me are like normal emotions to you though I can easily ignore them. Then again even though i only have those minor emotions I still feel compelled to what the voices tell me to do, have I told you there name yet? Oh wait you are them, so you'd already know. Either way I'll still tell you. I call them 'The Comment Section'. Wait a second where am I? Oh shit. Currently I just found the boss room to the eleventh floor boss. Wait what is the time? 8:35 PM, oh. Well guess It's time for dinner. As I get out of my Nervegear I look around. What I see is my room, obviously. It has grey walls. Grey bed well everything. I have a pc in the corner, it's the best on the market. As i walk downstairs i see a standard Japanese house. Once i get into the dining room I see my father having just placed our dinner. It was a classic English Breakfast, now before you say 'But it's dinner' my father has basically just woken. The sun irritates him. I don't know why. Anyway I'm sitting down now. "How was the game?" My father asks me "It's very fun infact i just got to the 11th floor boss room" I reply to him matter-of-factly. "Well you do remember today is the last day of the beta right?" He asks me. "Of course I do, and yes i also remember its almost my bed time" I grumble the last part. I'm 7! 7, God damn it I should be allowed to be awake up to midnight! I can't even use the excuse of my friends are allowed to be up to that time by their parents. Simply because I have no friends. The rest of the dinner was the normal son and father chat time. I am now walking up to my room getting prepared for my sleep when a thought hits me 'I should play with my knives' now that might seem strange. But that's simply because you're strange, every proper 7 year old has his knife collection. After I finish playing with them I check the time and see 10:20 PM, Oh shit. I go to sleep after that. And then the next day I wake up ready for the monotony of not being able to kill stuff for the next 2 and a bit months.