4 Chapter 4: Wilding Springs

This location is so familiar to me, I finally crack a smile through my disorientation. Ethpeal is long gone into the crowd through the worn path in the hedge and into the yard beyond. Lights flood over me, hung from the trees draping themselves across the property. Mixed scents hit like an assault, overpowering perfume from some of the gathered witches, dirt taste from the deep magic of the Wild Hunt buried under the ground. The tang of bodies and the sharp zing of the bowl of punch I pass make my mouth water and my stomach churn in equal measure.

The sun has just set here in this part of the world, the air shuddering shadows as vampires appear. I glide the edge of the gathering, nodding to Sunny Wilhelm, the queen of her clan, but avoid her as she smiles and waves to me. I'm in no mood to chat with the beautiful vampire leader, nor with anyone else. I only wish to find a quiet corner and contemplate the method with which I will break two hearts over a love affair that should never have been.

I find a quiet place to perch and observe, a chair pulled to the corner near the mouth of the drive, allowing the false face of calm to slip over me, the well-known embrace of old training hiding the churning worry hiding behind its walls. I observe everything with my wolf-sharpened senses, more habit than out of need to protect the ones gathered here. Doing so makes it easier for me to focus on what I have to do, rather than on what I wish with all my heart I could do.

Sage's engaging smile warned me the moment we met. Syd believed my animosity toward her martial arts teacher came from my irritation at her demands to learn to protect herself. The contrary was more the thing. The instant Sage's green eyes met mine, the rich, flavorful scent of him carrying through me on a wave of deliciousness, I felt myself tumble into emotions I'd never harbored before and, terrified by what they could mean, I only showed him coldness and flat annoyance while my true self's curiosity drew me back again and again.

One time too many, long after Syd stopped working with him, in fact. My hands twitch in my lap, the only outward sign I give my mind is engaged in memory, as I play over the moment I finally understood what I was feeling.

He was alone in the dojo that night, cleaning up behind the last of the customers. And I was drawn to that place, to observe him as I had been for weeks. This time he noticed me, beckoned me inside, and some strange need carried me to him.

We ended up sparring, though I don't remember why and, when the fight fired the wolf in me to different passions, I released my fear of what my feelings might mean and took him to bed. From the very first night, he was gentle and loving, as demanding as I when the need arose, but thoughtful in every act, in each touch.

My heart quivers as I pull myself from the thrall of memory. Love. That's the new emotion I felt that night, and every night I spent with him since. No wonder I felt so afraid. And still am.

Her summery scent breaks my concentration, the rippled feeling of her magic perking my wolf and lifting my head. Syd sits down beside me on her own appropriated chair, turning sideways to hug me tight. I squeeze her as gently as I can, fearing if I give in fully to my longing to embrace her I'll crack one of her bones. She might be immortal and practically impervious to harm, but I still feel the protective drive to keep her from hurt, especially from me.

Syd pulls away, blue eyes bright with happiness. "I'm so happy you made it." Her hands hold mine tightly, keeping me tied to her physically even as her magic winds around me. So familiar, the touch of her energy, I growl softly in my own joy.

"I wouldn't miss it." Thankful to her for snapping me free of my melancholy, I finally skim the crowd with my gaze and find Meira a few rows of chairs distant, already opening gifts, her bulging belly protruding over her lap. She looks radiant, full of hope and love, her human form all grown up from the little girl I used to know. "The baby is coming soon?"

Syd nods, fingers still laced through mine as though she fears I might leave her if she doesn't keep close contact. "About two weeks, we think. It's hard to know." She grins at me, a kid herself again, the part of her I adore showing her face. While the woman she's become impresses and awes me almost every time we meet, the girl she used to be is the impulsive, kind and temperamental soul I willingly linked my life to. "Demon pregnancies run about three months longer than ours, but since she's part witch..." Syd shrugs. "Could be any second, I guess."

A pair of scampering children spot us as they wind their way through the oohs and aahs rising from the gathering, focused on Meira. The girl squeals her delight and runs headlong for me and, unable to resist her beaming smile, I bend with my arms wide, scooping the tiny, dark-haired bundle into my arms. She hugs me around the neck, planting an enthusiastic kiss on my cheek before leaning away, earnest happiness in her deep blue eyes.

"Auntie Charlotte!" Ethie's breathtaking beauty always makes me sigh over her, my protective instincts firing immediately when she and her little brother are around. She looks so much like her mother, though I can see her father in her, too, Quaid's darker skin and wide-set eyes just adding to the girl's attractiveness.

Her shyly smiling brother comes to stand between his mother and me, hazel eyes sparking with green points blinking under long lashes, strawberry blond hair almost down to his shoulders.

"Hi, Aunt Charlotte." Gabriel's sweet voice is maple syrup and fresh cut grass, his magic divine to my wolf side. I bend and kiss him, still holding his sister, offering my other knee though he's almost too big to share my lap with her any longer.

Syd laughs as the two crowd in, making me their seat, two little heads on my shoulders. I rest my chin on her son and meet her eyes, contentment rumbling like a purr through me. I wink slowly to her and she pats my shoulder.

"Don't let these two monopolize you," she said.

"Momma." Ethie glares at her mother. "Auntie Charlotte loves us."

She bends and boops her daughter on the nose. "Bed time in a half hour."

Ethie groans while Gabriel smiles his sweetest. "Okay, Mom," he says.

Could any children ever be so precious as these? I hug them tight and shoo Syd away. "I'm perfectly happy to stay right here," I tell her as she crosses her arms over her chest. "If you don't mind, we have catching up to do and you have a party to get back to."

Syd sighs and grins at me before turning her back. "Half hour, you two." I watch her leave, knowing I can wrangle more time than that.

"Missed you, Aunt Charlotte." Gabriel's eyes look right through me, into my heart, and I tighten my arm around him, kissing his forehead.

"I missed you, too," I say, choking up over the fact. I see them so rarely now, and accept my visits will be even fewer and further between when I mate at last and take the throne from my grandfather. How terrible gloomy and depressing to know I'll likely only see my two darlings on official occasions and the few times I manage to get away.

Is it worth it to me, taking the throne, to miss out on all the benefits I've won from gaining my freedom? I don't mean to waste my time with the kids thinking this way, but haven't I simply traded one cage of control for another?

"You missed the big treasure hunt." Ethie's blue eyes are wide, her four-year-old soul aged beyond her time in this world thanks to the influence of her great-grandmother's adopted magic. I feel and see Ethpeal in the little girl regularly now and wonder if Syd is aware of the scope of the sorcerer's influence.

"I'm sorry I did," I say, fixing my attention on here and now. Later would take care of itself. "Who won?"

***