Real Sensations, Filthy Obsession, and Different Commitments

What- what was that?

Oh my God!

Feeling feverish, I wrapped my arms around my body and my head spun intensely. 

The vision was over, wasn't it?

So why are there still chills running down my spine? The goosebumps on my arms, that feeling of a million eyes scrutinizing my every move, that daunting and mocking laughter, that feeling of intense humiliation, and the sensation of my skin being prickled and pierced with their dagger like gazes.

Why isn't it going away?!!

"Ha! Ha!" 

My breath grew sharper as I slumped down on the ground, tightly clutching the sides of my head.

Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out of my head! Leave me alone! Stop looking at me!

'Look at her, like a drowned rat!'

'She had this coming for her.'

'Pfft, she looks so ridiculous.'

'Hmph, is she really a part of us wolves? How pathetic.'

Shutting my eyes tightly, I let out inaudible groans while roughly grasping my hair.

The voices from my vision rang in my mind, and it all felt....too real. So real. Like I have truly experienced that scenario myself. 

Ugh, I am losing my mind!

Take deep breaths, calm down. It's over now. You're not there anymore. You're fine. Stand up and tall. You've got this.

Repeating the mantras in my head, I finally managed to come out of the headspace and calm myself. 

"Leave my hand, this instant! I am your Alpha!" Rowen's screeching voice helped in sorting out my blurry consciousness, and I looked up in a confused, groggy state.

F-ck. I almost wish I hadn't.

Because the person twisting Rowen's arm and looking at him with a mad gaze, standing in front of my collapsed form, was none other than my brother.

My heart slumped further, and I stopped breathing. For he was far worse than that vision. 

Heck, he made that vision feel like a child's play. 

"It's ok Sera. I am here now. No need to be afraid of anything." He repeated the words I have heard a million times before, and against my desperate attempts, his voice sent shivering tremors down my spine.

I was fully recovered from my vision, but his presence made me freeze.

Trembling lightly, I stood up on my shaking knees, trying my very best to appear fearless.

Being fearless isn't about not being scared of anything. It's about acting in spite of fear. 

And that is exactly what I am trying to do now. 

Keyword: trying.

"I am just protecting my little sister, Alpha." Oh, are you really?

You're the one I need protection from, you jerk.

"Protecting her? From what? She is my mate!" You wish!

Ugh, these guys are living in a delusion.

The one who assaults and abuses his own sister due to some sick obsession, and the one who neglected his own mate and whored around the pack with other she-wolves, not caring about the pain he put his mate through. 

I can't decide who's worse. But all I know is that they both deserved to be thrown into the deepest and bottom-est pit of hell. 

The hell I wish I can make for them. 

"I just become too emotional whenever she's involved. I can't help it, you see. I hope you would understand." I couldn't see his face with his back facing me, but I am sure he was livid. 

He really did become emotional with me. 

"Tsk! As my Beta, I let go of your offense, though I won't be so merciful the next time." 

With one last hateful glance at me, he clicked his tongue in annoyance before walking off.

I almost wished he didn't, because being alone in Kaiden's presence was even worse.

He stung me and my body with his sharp gaze before breaking out into a soft smile. 

"Ah, I missed you, Sera." His gentle caress on my cheek with the back of his fingers sent unwanted shivers down my entire body, and I couldn't help but flinch.

My eyes widened in regret. Uh-oh.

"Are you scared of me?" Yes.

"No, I could never." 

Wow, look at me lying so proficiently. 

His hand moved to my hair tenderly before turning into a violent pull as he grasped a bunch of my hair in his tight grip, yanking my head back. 

I held in all the yelps and noises that threatened to escape my throat. No, Sera, hold it in. 

It will anger him more. 

My fist clenched as I kept them glued to my side, no matter how much I wanted to hit him. 

But I couldn't. Not if I wanted him to lose his mind. 

Someday I would. I would gauge his eyes off with my bare hands. But I wasn't strong enough now. 

So I will just wait patiently until it's time. And then I will strike. 

That's exactly why when he slammed his disgusting lips on me, I didn't bite his tongue off as I so wanted to. 

"You're a lycan now, so behave. Behave when you go there as well. I wish I could do something to prevent it, but I hope you'd understand." Pulling away from me, he sighed in deep regret and agony as he placed his forehead on mine, and cupped the sides of my neck with his palms. 

"Yes, I understand."

Someday, I will get back at you for every misery you have put me through. 

"I love you, my flower, and I promise to find some method to be at your side." He smiled at me lovingly as he once again touched my forehead with his filthy lips. 

"I love you too, Kaiden." Maybe I am filthy as well for playing along with his sick obsession, but years of assault have conditioned me to be this way. This is the only way to survive. To persist. To wait for the perfect moment and strike back. 

I abhor him with every ounce of my being. And I can not wait for the day, he will die the most pain filled death. 

That's my promise to you.