23 Red shift

Lucky's frost dragon form was terrifying to her. It seemed to occupy another place in her headspace being both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. It was the same for whatever wilderness she was now in. It was alarming how she both did and didn't remember it.

Cerberus's gentle words were soothing to her, as if she'd heard them many times before. She didn't know the language that he spoke, but she somehow knew all the meanings of the words. Well, at least she thought she did. The language of the Fae is magically complex. Every word is a spell that weaves into a greater spell. Even if you don't consciously grasp the meaning its enchantment still lingers, as if fairies weren't bewitching enough with their intrepidly divine good looks.

Dragons are highly intelligent creatures with very complex and capricious morality compounded by absolute magical might. Evenly snobby and noble they're often entertained by testing the will and might of others, including sometimes even other dragons. Lucky could feel this benevolent malevolence churn inside her whenever she took its form.

Chipmunks, on the other hand, are much different and in some ways opposite creatures. They hibernate, they save and store and they scurry. They are quite sneaky and resourceful and far more intelligent than given credit. Cheerful and curious is their disposition, though they can be viciously territorial. Being near the bottom of the food chain lends them to a lot of anxiety and they can be easily frightened, this is a stark contrast with a dragon that fears nothing but boredom. So shifting back and forth was both physically and emotionally traumatic and exhausting. The key to controlling one's shift is realizing that they are equal forms. Being a werecreature was a curse because of the trauma of having two forms that you are evenly possessed while simultaneously rejecting. You become both and neither, you are no longer what you were despite still having its form and neither are you fully your shift because each form is and isn't you.

When you first start shifting there's a lot of disorientation, confusion and discomfort. Having your soul suddenly split among 2 forms that are very different in disposition can create a civil war. Fighting with yourself in such a manner creates such deep psychological wounds and the most absolute loneliness as you aren't even there for yourself, you can't ever support yourself or comfort yourself, you can't love yourself, etc because you're fighting.

Cerberus knew this pain and struggle all too well which is why he resented Zion for manipulating him into inflicting it on Lucky. His concern for her had only grown since that night she showed up on the doorstep. So many magical ordeals for this tiny creature, and yet, a chipmunk was such the right form to shoulder this type of burden... always escaping danger. Whatever she was she is definitely resilient.

After talking Lucky through the trauma of her shift, Cerberus began walking her through how to shift back, and how to not get frustrated when she was 'stuck' in either form. He also explained to her the strange magic in the forest as well as the light of the moon now and the emotionally charged afternoon had caused the necessary triggers to force the shift, but he was still trying to figure out the magic.

Lucky, with her dragon voice that had both the sound and fury of a blizzard, asked where they were. Cerberus looked at her slightly confused. "You mean you don't remember?"

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Corvis remembered the day he met the Fae king. Having been with Zion since their first life this circumstance was inevitable. He had already foreseen it. He'd also foreseen how things would transpire between the two and the inevitable escape from the realm of the Fae. Likewise, he had foreseen this moment when Zion would tell him they were going to sneak back into the palace. Whatever his reluctance, he understood the inevitability. The torment of knowing the future is losing yourself in time. You start to lose touch with when you are because you have memories of the future. Keeping yourself grounded becomes its own magical task that requires more essence than Corvis had, so instead he severed his ability. Regardless of how much he tried to divorce himself of this power he constantly had dejavous and intermittent clairvoyance.

Zion had known the Fae king for a while before Corvis met him. Unlike most familiars, Corvis wasn't kept on any kind of magical leash. For the most part the raven and the lich lived separate lives. He would go off to study magic somewhere and Zion would do the same somewhere else and they'd share notes. They both learned magic faster this way.

If someone is to become a lich by their own magic they have to possess the power of resurrection. This power, in and of itself, is quite difficult to obtain. It requires not only a certain inborn magical aptitude, but also a deep magical understanding and discipline. Even if someone can master the process, the grief and horror of constantly changing bodies as well as the stifling suffering of keeping your soul artificially in a phylactery takes its toll and nearly all go insane within a single lifetime. The risk and likelihood of insanity increases exponentially with each subsequent resurrection. However, resurrection becomes unavoidable because the magic inherent in it will degrade the host body over time beyond the ability to repair it because the magic of the soul that could regenerate and sustain it remains trapped in a phylactery. It's a viscous cycle that lead most away from the path of necromancy and instead spurred most to seek magic instead for simply longevity.

Zion didn't exactly find being a lich preferable either, but it was necessary for their circumstances. Because of their talent and aptitude for all things magical they had learned to sustain it, but not without cost or consequence. Though the understanding of the gravity of these things was only beginning to unfold to them.

It takes an impressive amount of magic to master resurrection enough to become and remain a lich. It takes an even greater degree to resurrect and regenerate others. However, this was Zion's goal from the beginning. It was easier to resurrect Corvis because their souls and magic were bound, but Zion could do more than just resurrect their familiar.

"I realize that you aren't doing this without a plan," Covis said when Zion told him about going to the Fae King's palace, "but exactly how much do you remember from when he and I first met?"