1 Chapter 1

[Madelyn]

"Can I kiss you before you leave for work?" I ask and wrap my arms around Nick's neck before I look into his eyes. Is this how far things have gone? I ask him for kisses now? I shouldn't have to. We shouldn't be like this.

"Sure." Nick dips down his head for me and I stand on my tippy toes. I kiss him on the lips. Just a small peck. I'm not sure how much he's okay with. I'm not going to do the same mistake twice. Only a fool would.

"Okay...see you after work." I whisper after removing my lips from his. I tug on his lower lip with my teeth but instantly stop. He doesn't like when I do stuff like that. He never does.

"See you later, babe." He doesn't know what I don't like. I don't like when he calls me that. I don't even like 'baby' but 'babe' is on another level. It's like you don't even put in the effort to finish the word 'baby' so you just say 'babe'. He doesn't even look me in the eyes when he leaves. He just turns around and walks away.

I lock the door after him. A tear slips from my eye but I wipe it away with my fingers and make my way to the shower. Good morning to me.

I open the door to the spacious, bright bathroom and don't bother closing it. I'm the only one home anyway. I strip my clothes and ignore the full body mirror in front of me. I walk to the other side of the bathroom and turn on the shower instead. Hot water is pouring down the shower head. I select the rain setting before walking inside the shower. I need music.

"Hey Alexa! Can you pay 'Madelyn's playlist'?" A short bleep and the music is on. Rihana. Icon. I step under the water and let it soak me. I let the hot water soak up my hair and calm down my nerves.

"Oohh- cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air I don't care I love the smell of it! Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and wipe excite me!" I start screaming the lyrics through the fog that's now rising in the shower. Okay I'm not the best at singing. But I'm not half bad. I mean I pretty much suck at it but it's something I enjoy. Singing. Not sucking-

I grab the vanilla shampoo and the body wash and begin lubricating them both into my body. I'm not even thinking about my husband anymore. Or anything. Besides the lyrics of this text.

"Incoming call from 'Nick'." Alexa says, making the music stop. My ringtone is ringing and I sigh. I want to tell her to ignore but Nick always gets so mad at me. I wash out the rest of the foam from my head instead. I turn of the shower and squeeze out the last bit of remaining water from my hair. I grab the towel on the hanger next to me and dry my body with it. "Incoming call from 'Nick'." Alexa speaks again.

"Jesus, I'm coming." I drop the towel and begin walking towards my phone on the counter. I press the answer button and press the phone to my ear.

"Mads?" Nick does sound that mad to my surprise. "Maddy?" Okay now he's slightly mad.

"Yeah, I'm sorry." I look at a painting hanging on the hallway wall. It's a pretty painting Nick bought for me as a wedding gift. I didn't know he had good taste.

"My boss is coming over to our house to pick up an envelope with some work related stuff in it. Can you give it to him? It's in my office. He'll be there any second." I nod, quickly realizing he can't see me.

"Of course. I'll do it." I wait for him to say anything else but the line goes quiet. "Okay...I l- see you." I end the call. I don't know why I can't say it. I've never told him that I love him... he knows why. He says he understands. I don't think he does and I don't either. I've just never been able to express myself like that. My parents never told each other- or me that they love us. I guess I just grew up thinking it was a weird phrase. So I don't think I ever have used it. Even though he has told me numerous times that he loves me I've never been able to say it back.

One knock on the door and I'm startled out of my thoughts. Right, Nick's boss. I take the envelope from the kitchen table and put on Nick's white button up. It's pretty big but it'll do. Jeez this envelope is thick. And heavy. I walk towards the door and open it. My eyes meet black leather dress shoes. Shiny. My eyes move upwards. Black dress pants, a black shiny leather belt. Strong muscular arms covered in a white dress shirt. Like the one I'm wearing but bigger. The arms on his shirt are folded up under his elbows. Showing of his veins and a watch around his wrist, a tattoo on his hand. More on his knuckles. It's letters. I finally look up at his face. His face. He is the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

I smile and hand the envelope over to him. It takes every ounce of strength inside of me not to gasp when his hand accidentally touches mine. I look back at his dark brown eyes instead. He's staring into my light brown ones, but only for a second. His dark undercut, messy hair is fixed with gel. I recognize those eyes. I do, I just don't know from where.

"Thank you, love." His voice cuts right though me like a knife. So dark and smooth. Like silk. Honey. He doesn't even smile. He just looks at me with an odd look I've never seen anyone have before, therefore I can't name. It's sort of- I can't explain it. "Tell Nickolas to give it himself next time, I am sorry to interrupt your shower." His eyes shift between me and the bathroom behind me. A light shade of pink spreads across my cheeks. I look behind me to hide the blush and look back at him.

"No worries. I'll make sure Nick gets your message." I smile at him again. He doesn't show any sign of emotion except for that look. Or maybe that's just how he always looks. I swear I've seen him before somewhere. "H-have I seen you before?" The words slip out and I shut my lips tightly. Shit.

"Hm?" I shake my head and smile.

"Nothing, I'm sorry- I was just thinking out loud."

"A penny for your thoughts?" I stop smiling and look at him confused. He wants to know what I'm thinking about? Why would he want that?

"It's really nothing, but I feel like I've seen you before." I look at him and he stares at me, his eyes not leaving mine.

"Maybe you have." He smiles. Not much. Just like a small polite smile. Just like I have been doing. "Well it was nice finally meeting Nicholas's wife, at least I know he isn't lying." He gets out of the house and closes the door after him. A small thud is heard and I lock the door again. Not lying?

"Hey Alexa? Play my playlist, please." I shout and soon after my music is back on. I make my way through the big living room to the bathroom and my eyes catch my reflection in the mirror. I stop breathing and stare at my reflection. The whole shirt is basically soaked- I-it's see though. You can see my boobs through the thin fabric. Shit. Fuck. He just saw- no. He wasn't looking. What about when I turned my head away- no he wouldn't do that. I don't know that man- maybe he did look.

I take off the button up and get back into the shower. I don't think he noticed. If he did it would be obvious. He's a guy. Not judging him by his sex. But most men would stare.