11 Reasons to Survive

It was hard going through ever decision that I should choose, whether I want to undergo chemotherapy or not is my own personal choice said my dad. It's not that they don't care enough about me to handle this on my own, rather it's the contrary. They care about me so much that they trust me enough to depend on my opinion for something like this.

My Mom still hopping that I will choose to give the chemotherapy a try. James is supporting me all the way whatever my choice is. Harry on the same side with James told me that he would support any decisions that I would make as long as it is valid.

Liz on the other hand swore that she won't talk to me ever again, if I chose not to undergo chemo. I laughed at her expression when I told her I've decided not to make myself suffer and just die with my hair fixed on my head and not falling off. I love to tease Liz. I like seeing her pissed off because of me.

"You are the most selfish person there is in this human history Cheen if you will do that. You are just thinking about yourself. How about us? How about the people who loves you and believe that you can survive this? Don't be unfair to us Cheen." She said as she tries to control her tears from bursting right in front of my face.

"I know! That's why it's so easy for me to decide about it." I said suppressing the smile that is already trying to escape my lips because of Liz's silliness.

"You can't decide just like that." It was Khan's turn to speak, I almost laughed, it's as if somebody has written the script and he is a little off cue when it is his turn to finally speak.

"And Why I can't Khan?" I asked him with his face amused with my question.

"Because it's your life that you're wasting. There is a beautiful world ahead of you Cheen. There are a lot of people who cared and love you. We are here. Harry and James are there, your family is there to support you and be with you all the way"

I gave him a small satisfied smile, signaling him that I won this conversation even if I haven't said anything yet about my decisions. "You're right. That's exactly it, it's my life. So I am the one who makes choices whether I waste it or not." Still holding my emotions.

Khan looked away while Liz glared at him, "Why do you always say the wrong things?" she said in annoyance.

Just then Harry entered the room; his smile vanished when he saw Khan sitting close to me. Liz stood up and dragged Khan outside with a final wave she said, "I'll leave you too alone, but remember what I told you, this might be the last time that I'll be talking to you Cheen. Remember that and consider our opinions and emotions towards your situation. We'll go ahead, Please do take care of yourself Bitch!" After that she smiled at Harry and left, Khan just gave a small nod to us.

"What's that all about?" Harry asked.

"Chemo." I answered.

"Have you decided whether to take it or not?" he said as he tried to avoid my eyes and searched for his phone in his pocket, I just watched him do that and when he finally found it, he put it on the table beside me. He looked back at me and I smiled. "I don't know yet. I'm not sure. I'm still afraid of that thought." I answered.

"Why not consider to do it Cheen? For us." Harry took a deep breath before he continues, "Have you ever wonder why all of a sudden James and I became close friends? We're opposites Cheen, when we first met, we just clashed, and then I saw you sitting beside him at the bus, at first I was like hell her girlfriend sure looks a lot like him. At that moment I thought you are in the relationship." He smiled as he tried to recall everything; I think he didn't want me to miss a single detail.

"And then I learned that you're just his best friend and boom, everything in me just started to become friendly around James and poof we clicked and we're inseparable since then. I tried to ignore my thoughts when they come screaming at me telling me to show you that I like you every time that I am with you but my ego dominated and I acted like a pig around you. Plus, it's in the guys' rulebook. Written in bold letters, that is to never date your close friend's best friend. It must be hard and a big no for us."

"But then, you might not even know it, but sometimes or maybe most of the time, you are the reason why people find someone who can accept them as who they really are. That you are the reason why all of a sudden they change for the betterment of themselves. Sometimes Cheen or maybe most of the time, even if you are on your meanest side still, you are someone's guardian angel. That moment on the bus, you are mine, my guardian angel here on earth." I looked away from his face not wanting to see the fear in his eyes, not wanting to feel that someday, I will not be able to hear him say this reasons why I should live, reasons why I still have that hope to survive.

"You really have those thoughts popped up on your mind Harry?" I whispered and smiled.

"Yes." He answered, and that was then that I made my decision. I want to live until my last breathe with Harry by my side. Oh God! Please give me enough time to love and be loved, please give us enough time.