2 Ashley

I ran home as fast as I could, which was faster than anyone else in my family, and also happened to be faster than anyone I'd ever met. It probably took me about two minutes to make the 5 miles journey to my house. I stopped at the edge of the grass clearing around my house. It was surrounded by pine trees and I've always loved the scent of the sap on the trees. I could smell much more than that of course, the fresh cut grass along with the scent of our house. I could expand my senses even further, but I felt as if the past few days had opened my eyes to the world and all the surrounding smells weren't as fatally important as the sweet smell of the sap on the trees. I focused my attention to the sweetness of it because I knew deep inside myself it smelled the way I felt about the recent change in my life. It reminded me of the way Leah smells and how much she has made my life change so drastically in the space of so little time.

Everything in my world was already so new and different from what I used to know, but this had opened everything inside me to 20 times the volume it had ever been in my existence. Everything smelled fresher and looked more beautiful than it ever had. When it comes down to the core reason for my transformation it's Leah. It's how she changed me and made me open my eyes to the fact that her life entwined with mine has made me believe I had a soul for the first time in my new life. I always believed I was going to hell if there really was such a place. If there isn't a hell I'm still pretty sure I'd end up in a bad place. She opened my heart to the world she lives in. A place where nothing matters more than your heart and senses. She was a slave to my eyes as much, if not more than I was. It was nearly impossible for me to look away but it felt like she couldn't look away from me. It was as if she was searching for something in my eyes that she couldn't find, or maybe she did find something in them and she was savoring every second she could get. I couldn't really figure out why she felt intense on the inside and quiet on the outside. It was like she was an onion that you had to peel layers off of to get to the core. My quiet thoughts were interrupted by the voices inside my house.

"Do you think she'll stand there all night?"

"Not a chance, she'll go back when she thinks Leah's asleep." How nice of my brothers to talk about me.

"No I won't be standing out here all night, and yes Sean I will be going back

when she's asleep." I answered annoyed.

I walked up to the not so big house we were staying in, not feeling the urge to run as I had before. There was no need for me to rush the night along, it would be a while until she was asleep enough for me to slip in her room. I was nervous about tonight for the simple fact that she was half awake the first time I had slipped into her room. It hadn't bothered me then because she hadn't met me yet. She knew nothing of me and my presence and I was worried tonight might cause her to wake entirely. Though I hated putting my brothers at risk I couldn't really help myself. She was intoxicating to me to the point that when I wasn't in her presence everything in me screamed that I needed to be. To me she was the oxygen inside my lungs, she was my air. I already felt as though she belonged to me and that we were meant to be together. Last night when I saw her for the first time it was like she had grabbed my hand and pulled me from the dark mist that had engulfed my life. I had walked into the house and sat at the table while I was thinking all of this, I could feel my brothers staring at me waiting for me to pull out of whatever deep thought I was in.

"I told you last night you shouldn't be messing around in people houses while they were sleeping. It's dangerous and not only for us." Said Sean with his worried face.

"I know what you said Sean, and I know now as I did then that you are right, but you also know as well as I do that I don't have a choice in the matter anymore." I said pleading more than stating.

"I don't know or understand why you can't just let her be. She could destroy everything we've built here. She could just plain destroy us!" He said frustrated.

"I told you this already, there's no going back now. If she does end up destroying us I'm truly sorry that I caused this for us, but you know why I can't stop." I half yelled half pleaded.

"Yeah yeah, she pulled you out of the darkness that engulfed you, we know, we've heard it a million times." Retorted Sean sarcastically.

"Why don't you let your brother talk for once, I bet you don't even know what his opinion is." I said defensively.  

He looked hurt by my words and I knew he hadn't even asked Shane how he felt about all of this. Shane was the quieter of the two boys but he was also the more level headed of them. He may have been the quiet one but every time he spoke it was the most insightful opinion we could get.

"I see both sides of the situation. It's foolish to be messing around with a human. It will almost certainly cause our demise, but I also know that when something alters your perception on the world in this state of being, to deny that thing would most certainly cause the destruction of that person. So the question we have to ask ourselves brother isn't how are we going to stop this. The question we have to ask ourselves is are we willing to stay by Ashley in the face of what might not be destruction for all of us, or will we keep her from this thing that has so drastically changer her life and in the end kill her ourselves. We have to choose, do we take the chance of sacrificing all our lives or do we sacrifice Ashley's life to try and save our own, even if we might not have to. I've already made my decision brother, whats yours?" Shane said as he sat at the table with us gesturing to his brother.

Sean looked at his brother with hard eyes already knowing his choice without him having to think about it.

"You know I will always be on your side." Sean said with a hardness in his voice. "I'm going to go find Brad and Jane." He left more quickly than I had ever seen.

"Thank you Shawn." I said grateful he was on my side.

"You're welcome. I don't like it either, you know, but I rather like you around and I've seen what happens first hand." He said pity in his eyes. I always forgot that everyone else had known this world longer than me.

"You'd better get going Ashley. She's almost asleep." He said dismissively.

"Thanks again Shane."

I left practically running out the door towards my salvation. On the way I couldn't help but wonder what Shane had done in his last life to be entitled to such a strong gift. He had been given the gift to see anyone he wished at any moment. It was believed by everyone in our world that if you did something truly admirable in your past life the ancient gods granted you a gift that coincides with the selfless thing you did. Shane never really wanted to talk about why he thought the gods had given him this gift.

I made it to Leahs house in less time than it had taken me to get home earlier. It must have been around ten now with the moon out over head, shinning and full. I easily climbed the wall into her window which was usually closed at night but on this night it was open and I smirked as I crawled through. I went and sat in the wooden rocking chair next to her bed assuming it was from her baby days. She had been mumbling something in her sleep when I came in but it was too low and muffled for me to understand. When I sat down in the chair she stopped and became still, my presence stealing her dreams away.

I stared at her face so sweet and innocent for what seemed like days to me before she started to stir again. She rolled her body to face me, letting out a little sigh as she did. I couldn't stand the beauty of her skin, begging me to touch it any longer, so I got up and quietly knelt beside her bed. I could have stayed kneeling by her bed forever if it weren't for her hair covering her face. My sanity was leaving me more completely as I started to reach for her face slowly. I lightly grabbed the strand of hair that had fallen down her face, brushing it behind her ear. She stirred again and I could have sworn she opened her eyes for just a moment. If she had, she showed no signs of stirring more and I was grateful. I was glad she wouldn't see me this way, kneeling next to her bed, powerless to my emotions.

She smiled and rolled over again so I couldn't see her face anymore. I couldn't take not touching her any longer so I walked around the bed, bent down and kissed her on the forehead. This time when she stirred I was positive she opened her eyes because she was staring right back into mine. She didn't move for what seemed like forever before finally sitting up and smiling my favorite smile like I was her sunshine.

"I'm dreaming again aren't I?" She said dazed.

I didn't answer her out of fear that it would break through her haze and she would realize this wasn't a dream at all.

"I must be dreaming... You never talk when I dream about you. I don't mind it so much, you're just a different kind of intense than when I'm awake."

I was childishly smiling through her whole little speech and when she finished I had to touch her. I reached out my hand and she took it without a second of hesitation. She pull the covers off of her with her free hand and swung her legs around so she was sitting on the bed. Her face was so close to my stomach I was frozen and I felt a jolt inside of me that made me feel like I would die right then. Is it possible to die from loving someone so much? I didn't really care as long as I died when I was with her. I looked at her finally confirming what I knew had been true all along... That I did love her that much.

Her face was so serene as if she didn't have a care in the world because I was standing there. I thought about taking her in the woods again so we wouldn't wake her mother but she was practically wearing nothing. I didn't think it would be a good idea if she got sick and missed school. I don't think I could handle the consequences of not seeing her in school. I know that I would end up convincing her to let me ditch school and take care of her when she was sick but I didn't want to have to. In the end I decided I could settle for sitting on her bed with our fingers intertwined, palms touching.  

I couldn't look away from her face which gave credit to how beautiful it was, because I knew her body was just as perfect. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed she had a little bit of stomach hair trailing down to her shorts. I smiled, a sweet and innocent smile, storing that image away for later. She hadn't talked in a long time and I was starting to get anxious that she wouldn't unless I urged her on. She seemed contently lost in my eyes and I knew the look she was giving me meant she couldn't look away. At this point I assumed she was entranced and therefore couldn't talk either. I knew it wouldn't take long for me to lose all control and speak just to hear her voice.

There was a point where I did lose all sense I had laying down on the bed our fingers still entrapped by each others. She followed my lead and laid next to me, putting her head on my shoulder and her leg and arm draped over me. She looked so peaceful and cute her hair messed up a little. She wasn't looking at my face anymore and I couldn't tell if she was asleep or not. I wanted to hear her speak but settled for inhaling the scent of her hair so I wouldn't ever forget it. The need for her voice slowly started to creep inside my veins and I felt like I was suffocating on it. My mind told me to hold my tongue while my body screamed something else completely. I ended up saying the first thing that came to my head.

"You smell good."

There was no answer from her and I was upset that I waited so long to say something. Now I just sat suffering in the silence as it started getting closer to the morning. I knew I would have to go soon so I tried to squeeze out from under her when she grabbed a tighter hold on me and mumbled my name. I was so surprised by this beautiful voice saying my name that I froze for a moment to take it in. She said my name! Does this mean I have a chance? Does she like me? I guess the important question is would she still be saying my name with such sweet innocence if she knew who I really was? I shuddered and got out from under her as quickly as possible without waking her, not wanting to think about how wrong this was.

I didn't want to think about what it would mean if she could accept who I was, or what would happen if she couldn't. She didn't stir while I made my way to her window, jumping out head first and running home as fast as my feet would go. It seemed as if each time I ran the distance between our houses it took me less and less time to make the run. I stopped outside the house trying to hear the muffled voices to see if it would be safe for me to go in. I hated getting in the middle of arguments and altogether shied away from violence. I know it sounds like a strange thing for someone who lives in our usually, sadistic, gruesome world, to hate violence. My empathy was one of the very few things I brought with me from my previous existence. The sound of my name pulled me from my thoughts.

"Ashley is out of control, there's no way this can end good." I heard Sean yell.

Great, they were talking about me again. It seemed lately when i was home and probably when I wasn't that i was the topic of conversation. I slowly started inside to try and defend myself and my actions which I felt was pretty much useless since I didn't even know why I couldn't leave Leah be. I entered the front door to see everyone gathered in the living room that we used for family meetings. Shane was the first to speak when I entered.

"I told you everything was fine. Don't doubt her judgment on the situation, she may be entrapped by her emotions but she knows her boundaries and she knows that she's risking us all. Don't forget, it seems like the gods gifted her with persuasion. I'm sure if something goes wrong she will be able to fix it." Shane said looking at me with a supportive concern.

"Thanks Shane, you've always been supportive of this situation. It means more to me than you could know. I'm sorry none of you feel the same way." I said sulking and feeling like crap for putting everyone in danger.

"You can't keep doing this!" Sean Said. "What are you going to do if she doesn't want you after you've given up our secret?"

Leave it to Sean to ask one of the questions I'd been asking myself just 5 minutes earlier.

"I've told you our options brother, as well as the rest of you. We've talked about this every which way and frankly I'm tired of this subject. Either except this or go but I won't be discussing it again." Shawn said sternly as everyone looked at me.

The silence was so strong and thick I could practically see it, along with each emotion my brothers and sister were thinking and feeling. I hung my head feeling defeated and started to speak.

"You know, I think I should be the one to go..."

"No you can't..." Shane started to protest.

"Please Shane, let me finish." I said cutting him off. "I should go. I don't want to put everyone here at risk for something that is my fault and problem."

"Listen Ashley. No one wants you to go. You're a part of this family now and it would devastate us if you left." Shane looked me straight in the eyes as he said this and I knew he was right.

"Is that how everyone feels?" I asked doubtful. "I'm not so sure Shane. How about we put it to a vote and let the majority decide. Let this whole family decide my fate, not just you. After all. They're all at risk as well."

"Ok Ashley, we'll do it your way." Shane said ready to defend me to the end. "We all already know what I vote. I vote she stays a part of this family."

"This is crazy brother." Sean said sounding more pleading than angry, knowing he didn't want to be separated from his brother.

"Just vote Sean." Shane snapped.

"I vote she goes until we know how the girl reacts."

Everyone else in the room surprised me by voting that I stay. I supposed it was because everyone always looked to Shane for guidance and would do what he did. He and his twin Sean were the ones who had been around the longest but Shane always had logic on his side, when his brother was ruled by his emotions instead.  

"You better start getting ready for school if you want to catch the bus, the driver is early today." Shane said looking my direction as if nothing had happened at all.

"Thanks again Shane." I said my eyes saying more than my words could.

"No need to thank me, I would've done the same thing for any of the others."

"I know, but I still appreciate it." I said leaving him to himself since the others had already dispersed.