1 39 Days

Li Shen stared at the wall her fingers twisting anxiously. She was tired of crying and knew that she couldn't keep this up forever.

She turned towards her reflection in the mirror, so much like her own yet different. She was missing the small scar on her chin from a bicycle accident she had as a child. Her ears were no longer pierced. Her hair was much longer ,and she was able to see fine without her glasses. But the most dramatic was how smooth and delicate this face was. She was rather pretty without sun damaged skin, chapped lips and rounded cheeks.

Li Shen had always been a sturdy and Tom-boyish girl. She had worked her butt off since she was seven years old. At first she was forced to find anything she could recycle and sell by her drunk of a father and later she found odd jobs and part time work for her own survival after he abandoned her.

It had been 39 days since she woke up in this body. She had gone through many stages within those days. The first disbelief, then fear, followed by worry, and at last reluctant acceptance. She knew that she had somehow traveled to a version of the past. It wasn't the same as what she knew of history, but how different She wasn't sure yet.

Everyone wore their hair in old fashioned styles the woman modestly up with hair pins, or hanging long with the front pulled back, the men a similar style. The women wore traditional hanfu in vibrant to mellow to plain colors and the men long billowing sleeved hanfu's in more traditional masculine colors.

The memories of this previous version of her (this is what she decided to call the old owner of the body)had been vague at first, like trying to see in murky water. She had slowly began to piece together enough information about her bodies former owner to know she was not in a good spot.

The girls name was Baek Fen Hua. Unlike her she was a quiet timid girl who spent most of her life within her own quarters. She was ostracized by her family due to her mother's low status of a maid. Her siblings bullied her and kept her at bay refusing to except her as anything more than trash.

After he mother died things only got worse. At least while her mother lived she felt loved. Her mother did her best to keep Fen Hua happy trying hard to distract her from the meanness of the other wives and their children. When her mother died, of a fever that had been left untreated, Fen Hua was left all alone.

Li Shen shifted through the memories of this mother. She couldn't help, despite all the negative, to feel jealous of Fen Hua. Her mother had been beautiful. Her eyes were large and covered in thick lashes. She noticed that her mother always put on a brave face in front of her. She held a kind of elegance that Li Shen had never seen someone so radiant, somehow ethereal.

Fen Hua had witnessed the other side of her mother as well. Sometimes when she thought Fen Hua was sleeping, she would allow herself to break down. Sobs would rack her body as she clasped a worn handkerchief to her chest. Fen Hua never let her mother know that she saw those times, but would always do her best to cheer her mother up the next day. Li Shen was slightly impressed by this selfless act and could feel the love the two had for each other.

She thought back to the moment that brought here here. The sudden sighting of a father who didn't deserve the spark of joy that arose from seeing him. The way he spit at her as she drew closer. The cold look in his eyes. And finally the force of the car that hit her as she ran from him.

Li Shen looked at the memories of how Fen Hua died. She saw her wasting away from an unknown condition, but it seemed she had just lost her will to live. Since no one cared to give her hope she never bounced back.

There was a single memory of her father coming to visit. He was attractive despite his age and greying hair. He had a commanding presences somehow swallowing the rest of the room when he entered. He had looked at Fen Hua for a few moments, his eyes darting around the room as if seeing it for the first time. Perhaps it was, Li Shen couldn't find any other time that he had come.

"You look just like your mother," he had said with a little noticeable emotion. His voice, despite his demeanor had been almost soothing to Fen Hua, due to a mixture of loneliness and hearing about her mother. He left shortly after that, never drawing closer or wishing her to get better.

It was only a matter of days that Fen Hua had let go completely. From what Li Shen could tell no one had even seen the dead body before she had entered it. She wasn't sure if this should please her because no one would notice a dead person coming to life, or sadden her for the delicate creature that had died without a single person knowing.