14 The Room

After a while, I pulled her to my bosom and hugged her. I love her and I have to look beyond my insecurities. She loves and respects me, that's all that should matter. She's the combination of my infatuation (lust) and love. The definition of all I desire in a woman. I turned her around and wrapped my hands around her waist. She heaved a sigh as I held her tighter. She closed her eyes and relaxed further into my chest. I lead her to the dining table where I have left the ring three days ago. I sat down and she sat opposite me. I took it up and opened the red suede box and the diamond shone in all its glory.

"Will you marry me?" I asked on a bended knee. Her tears flowed more than it was, hitherto, flowing. I thought it was the usual cry of victory. She raised hands to her mouth.

"I can't, I can't, I can't." she shook her head and cried more profoundly.

"I know it is so unusual, but that was what took me to Abuja… we have loved each other for close to 2 years, I think that's enough time". She kept shaking her head.

"I can't, please, don't say that again.

"Why?" I asked concerned rather than disappointed.

"Because we can't be together". She continued crying.

"Oyoyom, even if you're an HIV patient, a will still marry you. Just say yes!" I said reassuringly. Her genotype would have been a problem but she'd once told me that she is AA.

"We can't be married, we can't," she cried.

"Why?"

"You would not believe me if I tell you," she shook her head in total anguish.

"Even if you have no womb, sweetheart, I will still marry you. I swear, just say yes." I felt beads of tears forming in my own eyes too. She was tender and alone, and I love her. Now, I felt obliged to love her more.

"I am not confusing gratitude with love, I know what I want and I also know that's exactly what you want too." I love Layen everlastingly and she is my pleasure and my essence. I can't imagine life without happiness nothing will ever satisfy me.

"We - we don't belong together," she said at last.

"Why are you doing this to me….to us?" I asked. She bent to get something from under the table

"Forget your fear and, together, we can build a new world, you and I."

Silence.

"Look at me and tell me that you believe in me."

Silence again.

"Sweetie…" I called but I heard nothing. I looked at the table there was only a folded paper napkin.