11 What's stopping you now?

"Tell me what you want to hear,

Something that will light those ears,

Sick of all the insincere,

I'm gonna give all my secrets away"

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-ELIZABETH-

"Do you want to stay a bit for coffee?" I offer.

He scoffs "So, you're still trying to get in my pants?"

I huff and cross my arms, earning a chuckle from him.

"I'd love a drink." He smirks.

We walk to the kitchen which is only steps away.

"What would you like?" I open the cupboard.

"Do you have anything stronger than coffee?"

I turn around to face Mark who's now sitting on a stool by the kitchen island with his chin in one hand, "What's wrong?" i ask, noticing his distressed expression.

"Just a bit stressed." He shrugs.

I turn back to pull out a bottle of tequila from the cupboard and two glasses, "What's got you stressed?" I pour our drinks and walk to where he's seated.

"Work." He finishes the drink in one gulp.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I smile.

He hesitates then starts, "I have a big..." he trails off to think for a moment before continuing, "project at work and of course it's exciting but I have a really bad feeling about how everything's going to play out."

"What do you mean?"

"You see this project requires me to find something that I know I'll find, but a lot of people are looking for it. And I can't help but think that this is all going to end badly." He takes a deep breath in, "If they find h-" he pauses for a second "It, first. Then who knows what will happen to it. And if I find it first, I might not be able to guarantee its safety for long if I never prove that the other people looking for it are," he searches for words again "Unfit of handling it." He narrows his eyebrows, almost as if asking himself 'Did that make sense'.

I'd be lying if I told you I understood anything he just said.

"I'm sure everything will work out." I smile still completely dumbfounded and unsure of how to respond to him, "You seem very devoted to your work, what do you do?"

He sighs "Enough about me, what did you do today?"

Enough about him? All we've ever talked about is me and yet his very terrible explanation of why he's stressed is 'enough'? I shake the fact that he just changed the subject back to me and respond, "Well I went to take Ralph out for a walk, then went to the library and helped Derek out for his date." I shrug, "Nothing as interesting as your big project." I pour him another glass.

He chuckles then says, "What do you want to do with your life Liza? I doubt you plan to work part time in a library for all your life." He drinks his glass down.

"I actually want to go to college."

"You never went?"

"I know, I seem like a very intellectual individual," I gloat to which he scoffs "but nope I never went."

"How come?"

"Never could."

He furrows his eyebrows, "Could. Meaning, now you can. So, what's stopping you now."

I look at him for a moment, what's stopping me? "Nothing I guess."

"Then?"

"Then what?"

"Then why don't you go?"

Why don't I go?

Maybe it's the fact that I haven't yet dealt with the absence of my father and going to school would mean moving on with life. Moving on from him. And that's something I'm not ready for.

"There's some great schools in New York, I can help you look."

I tense up and freeze at the thought of going back. If I were to go back, what would I find there? Dad's gone, Mom abandoned me and Harriet told me to run. 'Run from what?' you may be asking. Well I'm asking myself the same question every day. Going back to New York would answer that question but a large part of me would prefer to leave that stone un-turned and that question unanswered. Who knows what will happen to me if I go back there?

I feel Marks familiar presence beside me and his hand on my back but I still remain frozen.

"Liza?"

I'm snapped out of my state and I turn to look up at him, his face full of confusion and worry "Yeah?"

"Why are you crying?"

I bring my hands up to my face and feel the wetness of my cheeks, I didn't even notice the familiar warmth of my tears stream down my face.

"Oh, it's nothing." I fake a smile.

"Did I do something; did I say something? Fuck. I did didn't I?"

"It wasn't you Mark don't worry." I put my hand on his arm and smile.

He stares into my eyes for a moment and sighs, "I'm sorry Liza, I guess I'm just not good at this." he motions to the space between us.

"But you didn't do anything."

"I did, why else would you be crying? I always find a way to fuck things up." He sighs "I've never dated anyone, I only do casual hookups so this foreplay, talking stage thing is new to me. You're different Liza, you interest me and I'm willing to learn how to be good at this for you. I don't want you to hate me before I've even taken you on a proper date" he looks down "I don't want to mess things up before they've even started." He mumbles.

I put my hand up to cup his cheek "You didn't do anything I was just in my own head for a moment, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

I smile a genuine smile and nod, "Yeah I'm sure."

He leans down and embraces me tightly, as if he's scared of losing me.

I'm not sure why he's acting this way, but his random display of concern is adorable.

"You're so cute." I whisper.

"No I'm not, I'm a sexy Alpha male. Not cute." he grumbles making me chuckle.

We release from the hug, "So, you've never dated anyone before? Are you being serious?"

"Only once, and I messed it up. After that I never got in a serious relationship again." He shrugs.

"How did you mess it up?"

he shrugs, "I was in high school and got a little drunk at a party. Then this girl was all over me and when my girlfriend found me, it looked like i was cheating. But i'm not a cheater I swear."

"Well that's not really your fault though."

"It is, i shouldn't have been at that party." he looks up at me, "I wouldn't cheat on you, never. You should know and believe that."

I nod and smile at the fact that he's being so confessional.

This does however upset me, he's telling me about his past and I can't even tell him my real name? But I have a good reason, and I need to keep convincing myself that.

"Do you wanna talk about what you were thinking about and why that made you cry just now?"

My breath hitches and I look down at my feet while playing with my fingers "It was just-"

He puts his hand on mine "We don't have to talk about it. We can talk whenever you're ready to" he smiles, noticing my discomfort.

I sigh "You're a really nice guy Mark."

"Why do you seem so upset about that? Don't tell me you hear the voices too?" he widens his eyes.

I hit his arm playfully and giggle before I return to being serious, "It's just that we haven't even known each other long and I know you're too good for me. I've got too much baggage."

"Have you seen me? I wouldn't say I'm that week looking. Scratch that, I'm not week looking at all. I have the muscle of a Greek god. I promise whatever baggage you have I can carry."

I feel my face get hot; I'm probably blushing like crazy over his arrogant yet reassuring words. However, I can't help but be fearful of how he may react when he finds out I lied about practically everything.

He sighs then looks down at his watch "Shit, I have a meeting tomorrow, I should probably get going if I want to get a taxi."

"Why would you get a taxi?"

"I was drinking, I've got to be safe if I plan to take you out tomorrow."

"Was that you asking me or telling me?" I smirk and cross my arms.

"Does it matter if you're coming anyway?"

"I mean I do still want to be asked."

"Okay, Elizabeth James. Will you go out on a date with me tomorrow?" he smiles innocently.

"I'd love to." I smile.

"I'll pick you up at eight, wear something pretty."

"Don't I always dress pretty?"

"There's the Mrs. Arrogant I was looking for." He starts to walk towards the door.

"Mrs?"

"Well every Mr. needs a Mrs. am I right?"

My cheeks heat up, again, and I hear the door open,

"I'll get Ralph tomorrow since I'll be at the meeting majority of the day. Goodnight Mrs. Arrogant!" I hear before the door closes.

This man makes me feel so flustered.

I tap my cheeks while I walk to my room "I need a cold shower" I sigh.

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Song: Secrets by OneRepublic