3 Live your life Alice, and live it well.

"Wish we could talk face to face,

So many things I have to say,

And tell you 'bout my day."

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-ALICE/ELIZABETH-

I sit down on my sofa. This is the first time I'm not contemplating my next move. The first time since my father's death where I can actually sit down and breath.

As I inhale a deep breath and look around the room, suddenly everything going on in my now messed up life becomes real.

I'm alone.

My Father is dead.

I've just completely changed my identity.

But what hits most is the second one:

Daddy's gone, forever.

I feel my heart sink down to my stomach and slowly break apart, piece by piece.

I fall onto the fluffy rug and let out more and more sobs.

"Why did you leave me daddy?" I say to the ceiling.

I feel my face heat up and my eyes sting as I continue to sob on the floor.

"I'm all alone now!" I cry.

My crying is interrupted when I notice the envelope that I took from his bookshelf sitting on the coffee table.

Now is probably the best time to read it.

I take the envelope and open it; a flash drive falls out of it and onto the ground. I pick it up and place it on the table while I begin to read my letter.

My Dear Alice,

If you're reading this, then the irreversible inevitable has happened. I have departed from this earth.

My eyes well up with tears.

I am so sorry my baby. Now, as I write this letter, I have plentiful regrets.

One is that I never let you go to university. If I had let you go continue your education and live off of yourself, you wouldn't be in this situation right now. You wouldn't be left alone with no one to protect you. I am so sorry for not letting you live your life Alice.

Another regret I have is not noticing your mother's behavior earlier. If I had seen the way she treated you, If I had listened to you when you complained about her, then I would've divorced her and you wouldn't have to live with such a hateful woman. Now it is too late for me to do anything about the way she treated you, for that I am very sorry my dear.

The biggest regret I have is not telling you sooner about my business. This, however, is the one mistake that I can fix.

Alice, my business has been going under. I have loans that just keep piling.

I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand.

Of course, I have been paying them back, your father is a man of his word, but that is the reason why the business is failing, I spent so much time and money on getting finished with my debts that I never paid attention to how I could keep my company alive.

My heart breaks to have to tell you this, however, I think you deserve to know. This is one of the reasons your mother has treated you so badly. She hates the fact that I let you spend money on shopping when I give her little to nothing.

Don't feel guilty my love, I know you have a tendency of feeling guilty about things you can't control, but you must remember that me letting you spend that money was the only way I knew how to make sure you were okay and not hurting over the cruelty of your mother.

Remember when I had my first "heart attack" and you suspected that something was fishy? Well honey, you were right. I also suspect that this (my death) is the successful outcome of their first attempt (my "heart attack").

My jaw falls to the floor, "I knew it" I whisper to myself.

I'm unsure of who did it and what exactly they did but I know they probably wanted to get the money I have stored in a few offshore accounts. You may have noticed the flash drive that is also in this envelope.

I look over to where the flash drive is seated on the coffee table and I pick it up.

On this flash drive, there is all of the information to my offshore accounts. You are the only person that knows has information, guard that flash drive with your life...no pressure.

I chuckle and put the letter down for a second to look at the flash drive in my hand. I know my dad wouldn't lie about the contents on it, but I am still curious.

With the flash drive and the letter in my hand, I walk to my bedroom, to my desk and insert the drive in my laptop.

Sure enough, everything was on there. Every password, bank name, withdrawal and deposition to his offshore accounts were there. I let out a heavy breath and eject the flash from my laptop.

I need to hide it somewhere, so I grab some tape and tape it under my bed. In order to get it again, one would have to flip my whole bed.

Now sitting back at my desk, I turn on a lamp and continue to read the letter.

I want you to use the money in the offshore accounts to maybe do something of your own and make a place for yourself, away from the McAllen name.

Alice, I also need you to understand that this is for the best. I'm sure Harriet has already instructed that you leave and change your identity. I was the one that made sure she told you this. I need you to do your best in forgetting everyone and everything back in New York (given that you have left already). No one can be trusted Alice, trust no one.

Honey, I know you are a strong, smart and very capable young woman so I have no doubt that you will survive in my absence.

The last and most important thing I need from you my dear, is to not cry for me. Do not mourn my death. Do not let a single tear drop fall from your eyes in my name. It was inevitable that I would depart from you one day, we just never knew when. You crying for me will not bring me back darling, my life is now in the hands of a greater power. I need you to let go of me and move on to newer better things.

Live your life Alice, and live it well.

I will continue to watch you from the heavens above (or wherever I've gone, just know I'll be watching you) so remember that you are not alone.

I love you,

Dad.

My hand shakes as I use it to trace the words "I love you" on the paper.

I bring the letter to my heart "He's really gone" I sigh.

Placing the letter back down on the table I sluggishly walk to the bathroom.

I watch my tear stained face staring back at me in the mirror.

I open the tap and splash water on my face before looking back at myself in the mirror and pointing at my reflection "It's just you and me Liza." I say while breathing in a deep and shaky breath, "Just you and me".

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Song: Daddy's little girl by Adina Thembi.

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