15 Don't say my name.

"Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough for you,

And all I ever wanted was to be enough for you."

--------------------------------------------------------------

-ELIZABETH-

"Babe, it'll be okay" Derek caresses my hair and holds me tightly as I sob in his chest.

"Its been four whole days." I cry.

"Let it out honey, let it out." he pats my back gently while rocking me slowly in the way a mother does. The way my mother never did.

In case you're confused as to why I am crying right now, it's because of Mr. Asshole.

It's been four days since our date and he hasn't texted or called me back.

After the first the day, I was like 'Maybe he's busy.' Then the next day I called him and he didn't reply and now four whole days have gone by and it's clear what's going on.

He's uninterested.

I thought the date went perfectly, I thought we had a good time, I thought that kiss meant something. I guess I was wrong, I guess I believed what I wanted to believe and not the truth in front of me.

Who was I to think I deserve a normal life?

"Okay you've let it out long enough." Derek lets go of me and stands up.

I wipe my cheek and sit up straight.

"You said you haven't seen the town yet, right?"

I nod.

"Then I'm going to give you a tour of the town!" he tilts his head "But first, let's get you out of..." he motions circles in my direction with his hands, "that."

I look down at my Nike sweats -that are covered in food stains- that I've been wearing since yesterday, "You're probably right" I agree and we both laugh.

Derek does my makeup and picks out an outfit for me.

I'm wearing a short plaid pencil skirt and a white halter neck crop-top. My outfit is paired with white Louis-Vuitton boot heels and a white baguette bag.

"Let's go!" Derek squeals linking our arms together.

We walk out of the apartment building, arm in arm and hop in my car to drive around the town.

Derek tells me to pull over by the mall.

"Let's go shopping!" he squeals and I let out a breathful smile. I did so much shopping back in New York that it doesn't excite me in the way it should. But I'd do anything at this point to get Mark off my mind.

The whole time we're walking around the mall, I can't help but feel like there's someone following us. The presence (of the person following us), however, doesn't scare me or cause me discomfort, quite the contrary actually. It feels more watchful as if they're protecting me. It's safe, it's non threatening.

I look behind me and see nothing, no-one, so I ignore the presence. Shake it off of my skin, my mind, and keep walking. It's probably my imagination.

~~~

After a full tour of the town I drop Derek off at his place and I walk up to my apartment. For some reason, the lights are all off, which is a little creepy.

All I can hear as I walk through the hall to my apartment, is the sound of my heels clacking against the floor.

The air feels thick and hot, and my tummy is unsettled.

I walk to my door and stand before it while opening my bag to search for my keys. In mid-action, someones soft, large hand holds onto my arm.

This startles me and I instinctively turn my body and kick the person in the balls.

I took self-defense classes for a year, so I know how to take care of myself.

The person falls to the ground and groans in pain.

I turn on my flash and point it to the person. I gasp in realization of who I just kicked. Mark. He does deserve it though.

The lights turn on with a low electrical hum and I tilt my head to look at Mark clearly without as much as an ounce of remorse.

Lying next to him on the floor is a velvet, rectangular box.

He recovers and stands up, picking the box up with him.

I stay silent.

"Fuck Liza,"

I cross my arms over my chest.

"I guess it's my fault, sorry I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that."

"What do you want?" I deadpan.

"Why are you mad? You just kicked me in the fucking balls." He chuckles.

I look up to study his face, he looks tired, very tired. But so am I, tired of the Universe giving me something, someone, and taking it back as easily as it gave it to me. I grew attached to Mark, and he left me. I lost him. In a matter of days.

"if you have nothing important to say, I'll be going now." I turn around, trying to force back the tears. I dig my hand in my bag and violently search for my keys "Where the fuck are my keys!" I yell and throw my bag on the floor.

That was my tipping point. The tears I was holding back all day are now released. The dam walls are open, and the water races out in relief.

I put my face in my hands and sob quietly.

Mark puts a hand on my shoulder and I push it away "Liza are you okay?"

I ignore him and continue to sob; Mark turns me by the shoulders to face him "Talk to me Liza."

"Stop saying my name." I snap.

"Okay, I'll stop. Tell me what's wrong." He pleads.

"You're what's fucking wrong Mark!" I yell, "You kiss me and don't even call me or text me after, and now you come back here acting like nothing's wrong?" more tears.

He sighs "My phone broke."

"That's not a fucking excuse. You know my address and you didn't even come see me for a second. Do you know how insecure and upset I felt?"

He lowers his head.

"I thought I did something wrong, I thought I scared you off. I thought I wasn't good enough for you." I cry.

He vigorously pulls me into a hug and I continue to cry in his chest.

"I thought you were going to leave me like everybody that matters to me does" I mumble.

He pulls me in tighter and whispers "I'm sorry Liza-"

"Don't say my name." I cut him off.

I feel tired of putting on this act of pretending being called 'Liza' doesn't bother me. The way people say my name so calmly as though it is my actual identity makes my insides churn.

"Okay." He whispers, "I'm sorry, I was busy with work. Please forgive me."

I say nothing.

"And, you didn't do anything wrong. You are enough, hell, you're more than enough for me. Don't ever doubt that for even a second. I'm sorry, I really am. Like I said before, I'm not good at this relationship shit and I know that's not a good enough reason but it's my reason. I really like you, I do. And I hope that you can forgive me."

I nod my head against his chest and whisper, "I forgive you." and we release from the hug. I pick up my bag and find my keys.

Once I've unlocked the door, Mark scoops me up bridal style and carries me to my room in comfortable silence.

He sits me down and takes my shoes off for me.

After taking my shoes off, he helps me lay down comfortably and my eyes start to get heavy.

He places a kiss on my forehead and I drift off to sleep. A peaceful, comfortable sleep.

-MARK-

After laying her down, I place the bracelet on her nightstand.

I leave Alice's apartment and head downstairs.

As soon as I step out of the building, I take out my new phone and dial Franks number.

"Is it done?"

"Yes, I've planted the tracking device."

"Permission to activate it?"

"Granted." With that I cut the call and sigh while taking a cigarette out of my pocket and lighting it. I don't smoke unless i feel agitated or any strong and negative emotion. This is one of those days where i feel those emotions and I need to light one.

"This doesn't feel right." I mumble before taking a heavy drag of the cigarette.

++++++

Song: Enough for you by Olivia Rodrigo

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