20 At the expense of her tears?

"You betrayed me,

And I know that you'll never feel sorry,

For the way I hurt yeah."

-------------------------------------------------------------

-ELIZABETH-

I wake up in the arms of Mark.

It takes a few moments for my eyes to fully adjust to the morning light, but when they do, the most beautiful sight catches my eyes.

A peaceful, sleeping Mark.

And I have the privilege of calling this picturesque sight my boyfriend.

I stare at him for a few moments, then his eyebrows furrow.

"Are you staring at me?" he asks in his deep, husky morning voice.

"No." I say smiling.

"you're weird," he chuckles "What time is it?"

I look over at his alarm clock that I had seen on his bed stand last night, "7:24" I respond.

"Shit." He mumbles "I have a meeting at eight."

"You should probably go get ready; I'll make breakfast." I say slipping out of bed, immediately missing his warmth.

He sits up on the bed, only then do I notice his bedhead which he can surprisingly pull off exceptionally well "You can cook?" he arches his eyebrow.

"Not really, but I can make scrambled eggs." I say proudly.

"Well I'm in luck, that's exactly what I was craving." He smiles tiredly.

I grin, "I'll make you the best scrambled eggs in the world. They'll be so good that you'll never eat anyone else's scrambled eggs, just mine because you'll love them that much."

"Wasn't expecting anything less from you." He says.

I blush and exit the room, making my way to his kitchen.

His kitchen is very modern with a grey kitchen island in the middle and a singular hanging light shining on it.

I gather all the ingredients and start making breakfast.

As the eggs cook on the stove, I notice a file sitting by the fruit bowl, next to the fridge.

I know snooping is bad, but it wouldn't hurt to just peek, right?

I walk over to the file and pick it up. It's a brown file and has a few papers inside it.

I open the file too see a paper written 'FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION'

A sharp intake of breath makes its way through my lips, Mark is in the FBI?

I continue to read the file and my heart sinks further. Much further. To the ground and under it.

On the page, I see a picture of me. Next to it written 'MCALLEN, ALICE'.

My hand starts to shake with the file in it.

So, he knew this whole time. He knew and he didn't say anything. He humored the idea of me being someone else when he knew the truth.

I feel uneasy and grip onto the table for stability.

Suddenly, a memory comes into mind from last night. I had seen a similar looking file on his desk.

I run into his room and find the file.

I open it and it reads 'MCALLEN, ALICE. NOW KNOWN AS ELIZABETH JAMES'. I gasp in complete shock.

Under that header, there's my current address and pictures of me and Derek around town.

They've been following me.

My cheeks are on fire and I feel hot water make their way down them.

There's another file, and another, and another. All about me and my family.

I fall to the ground, my chest rising and falling dramatically. Tears streaming down my face at an alarming rate.

He was here to investigate me this whole time.

Was any of it real? Was it all just an act?

I compose myself and stand up, scurrying all over the room in search for my clothes. I start changing into them when Mark comes out of the shower in nothing but a towel.

Before, I would've been drooling over him and his near to nakedness but now, I look at him with pure disgust.

"Liza?" he asks.

"Cut the bullshit Mark. Or should I say agent Reynolds?" I pull Marks shirt off me and change into my crop top from yesterday.

"You know." He says, almost to himself.

"Oh sorry, was I not meant to know? How long did you think you were going to keep this up for?" I start looking for my purse.

He sighs, "Please sit down-"

"I'm not going to fucking sit down Mark. Was this even real? Were we even real? Or was this all part of your investigation?"

He sighs.

"That's enough of an answer for me." I find my purse.

"Liza-"

"Stop fucking calling me that." I snap, "Say it." I walk closer to him "Say my real fucking name Mark" I poke his chest, "Say it." I whisper with a voice dipped in anger,

He sighs, "Alice let's-"

I scoff, "I can't believe I was actually scared for you to find out I lied to you, when you knew the whole fucking time."

"I swear to you I didn't-"

"You let me embarrass myself like that Mark." I sigh, "I know I should probably listen to you; I should probably sit down and hear you out like a smart adult but I think I'm a bit- scratch that, I'm way too heated right now to think rationally. So, I'm going to go to my apartment and you're not going to follow me."

He sighs and looks down with a nod.

"But before I go, you should know that I choose to believe that part of what we have or had was real. I believe that there was something there, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm really, really hurt." My voice cracks at the last bit.

I turn on my heels and storm out of his apartment, shutting the door roughly behind me.

-MARK-

"Fuck!" I yell.

She didn't even give me a chance to explain. I would've told her everything but what I hate about all of this is that I understand her reluctance to let me speak.

She's angry and has every right to be.

I hurt her, I lied to her and I thought I could get away with it. I kept the truth from her for my own benefit, for my own enjoyment. I took advantage of her vulnerability just so I could get everything I wanted.

But at what expense?

At the expense of her tears? Of her pain? Of her anger?

I regret ever thinking I could have both at the same time, when in reality I was choosing one.

I was choosing the promotion and not her.

I should've fucking chosen her.

-ALICE-

I spent the whole day in bed thinking.

"I have a big...project"

I was the project.

"this project requires me to find something I know I'll find."

It was me he was searching for.

Tears continue to roll down my face.

How could he-

My thoughts are interrupted by a loud noise in the kitchen. Plates, glass, more breaking.

++++++

Song: Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo.

✔