7 7. Yoon Jeonghan.

It was Yoon Jeonghan, Seungcheol's bestfriend. He looked at me, surprised, as if he never expected me to see here, and noticing my look Jihoon looked face since his back was facing Jeonghan, before he could even call my name, Jihoon called him out "Yah Jeonghan, come here. We are waiting" and Jihoon started looking at me, I was in a state of confusion, surprised, taken aback, wanted to escape, wanted to run away. Jihoon doesn't know anything about me and Jeonghan is Seungcheol's bestfriend, definitely he would ask me about him, there's no way Seungcheol didn't tell him about us and the way I was avoiding his and Shua's calls as well.

Jeonghan looked surprised, he sat next to Jihoon, I wish if only Jeonghan would understand my puzzled look and won't ask anything about us.

"Erica, it's him. my closest cousin, just like my own brother. Yoon Jeonghan" I wanted to take out my phone and text him, not to say a single word.

"OH, hello Yoon Jeonghan, nice to meet you" I smiled

"Eri-

I cut him off before Jeonghan could speak a single world. Jeonghan was my batchmate along with Seungcheol in my university during my under-graduation, Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Joshua were a trio. I got closer to them because of Seungcheol. Three of them are best guys, I never felt insecure with them, they are more like my boy bestfriends.

"Jihoon, I think you should go and order, he just came here." He nodded and got up

"You guys can talk to eachother, Hannie, erica is a sweet girl, treat her well." Looked like Jeonghan forced a smile. The moment Jihoon left to order, I turned to Jeonghan, and didn't fake a smile anymore

"What's going on Eri? What are you doing here?"

"What do you think Jeonghan? Why am I here? Why am I meeting you here?"

"This is absurd, I know Jihoon is my cousin but Seungcheol? Do you have any idea how he is? He keeps on blaming himself for everything. I don't know what happened with you or between you guys but looking at him like this breaks my heart, he loves you Eri, and now, I saw you it looks like you are beating yourself up for everything. I've known you since university years, it's easy for me to find out if you're beating yourself up or not. This is not okay, nothing is okay, you guys have been together for so many years and now this. what's the reason Eri, tell me. Tell me if I can fix it up, I can't see you and him like this anymore, since three days I've been seeing him suffer. Do you know what he did Sunday night, he went to bar, got wasted, I had to bring him home. Joshua went to bar to find him but there he was whining to see you, I tried to call you but you didn't pick up. Then he started telling us it was his fault, he said, it was him who made you leave him."

Before he could continue, and my tears would start falling which I held back while listening about him. it was breaking my heart, how could he blame himself. I am the one who should be blamed, not him.

"Are you getting along? Yah Jeonghan don't you dare to tell her weird stuffs about me." Jihoon said, I forced a smile

"Were you crying?" he asked me

"No no, something went inside my eyes, I am fine and why would I cry?"

"I see," he said

He sat, there serving out drinks to us.

"Jeonghan is very evil but very sweet. He is an angel Erica... He is best"

"yes, he seems sweet" I forced smiled

Before Jeonghan could say anything, Jihoon's phone started ringing taking our attention. He looked at the user id and heaved a sigh.

"Pick it up don't worry." I told him, he looked disappointed

"hello,"

"What? Traffic accident?"

"Where are others? call them quick get ready for surgeries, empty the operation room and I am coming," he looked at his watch and spoke again "It would take me 30 minutes, you need to hold onto them till then, I will reach there."

"Don't be sorry. We are doctors, we need to save their lives" and he hung up

"Jihoon go, it's okay" jeonghan said,

"Jeonghan, I am so sorry, Erica, I am so sorry. Hopefully three of us will meet after marriage. I will be leaving first then, enjoy your drinks and go"

"don't be sorry, it's not your fault"

"I am again sorry. Take care." He waved at us.

"Did god hear my voice?" Jeonghan smiled

"Eri, tell me what's wrong? Jihoon is not here anymore, you can talk to me. You didn't answer any of my calls neither of Shua, what am I supposed to do now? You are one of my bestfriend and like my own sister and he is my bestfriend and another is my cousin. I wanted to ask Yoona but I waited for you, you to open up to me first and not me forcing you."

"Jeonghan… this is already decided, I tried to fight up but it would ruin cheol, I can't see him getting ruin after he worked so hard to achieve what he have now and I can't let him lose anything or ruin anything. Jeonghan, please don't tell him about today or anything and just tell him that he didn't do anything wrong, it was me." I heaved a sigh

"Jeonghan, I can't hold up anymore, not anymore because my heart doesn't want to let go of him and his memories, it's like I am faking myself and pretending but I am not ready to let go of him." I broke down, letting my tears fall freely, there's no reason to hold it or pretend to be strong infront of him. Jeonghan came to sit beside me, and pulled me into a hug, a hug which I needed the most, the comfort I missed all these days, Jeonghan is here to give me the comfort and warmth right now. I wanted to tell him everything, everything inside me. I tried to speak between my cries, I wanted to let out everything.

"I decided to let him go but I am the one holding him tight inside me and with me, I wore our couple outfit today, wore his pendant, my phone's wallpaper is still the same, it's our picture, the picture you clicked secretly during our trip. I keep on staring at our pictures everyday and end up crying every night, I miss him so much but I am the one who left him then why am I like this? when I know I can't keep him. I shouldn't have done that. I was afraid, afraid of ruining him and ran away from the situation that's why I couldn't tell him anything when mum slapped me for loving him, threaten me to leave him. I wish I could go hug him tight and tell him how mum humiliated me infront of dad by asking that if I ever slept wi-

"Shh don't say like that, Eri don't" my cries got harder and he was caressing my back, I was holding Jeonghan's shirt tight as if it was my last chance to hold someone. "You have no idea what I went through, this is a business marriage."

"I know Eri, Jihoon told me already that this is a business marriage."

"How much I wanted to shout Seungcheol can help my family if they needed business support. He is basically the CEO of top 3 companies here and that's another reason why I don't want to ruin him. I am afraid of everything, just everything. I am not okay Jeonghan, trust me, waking up everyday and faking myself till the end of the day because I don't want to encounter another argument, it's not that I can't fight but I am tired. She can pull strings and do anything. I can't afford to let her know who is my past and whom my heart and soul belongs too. I brought a picture of me and cheol and it was inside my drawer, everytime I miss him I just hold it tight; she was going through my things day before yesterday I don't know why when I was in shower, I somehow stopped her from reaching there, if she caught something she would break it or do something worse I don't even know. I am scared, I am getting scared again, just the way I was back when I was a kid. She never took things this far. I don't understand that how important is this business that she is going this far? Don't I deserve to be happy hannie? Don't I deserve happiness and love?"

"you deserve to be happy, don't cry now, I am here" Jeonghan's words are really comforting, his voice speaks comfort. How much I wanted to tell him, that Jeonghan, I am sorry for everything but I couldn't bring myself to say him that. I just couldn't. how much I wanted to scream to Jeonghan, please help me because I can't fight alone anymore.

"Eri, don't cry now. Should we do something together? So that no one would be hurt?" he asked me looking at me sweetly.

"Jeonghan, I want to do but I am scared, I am scared of everything, I can't bring myself to do something."

"Eri, do you want my help?" he looked like as if he was wanting my answer to be yes, just one approval from me and he can turn everything back to my happy days

"Jeonghan…

Before I could answer him anything, my phone started ringing, as if god doesn't want me to be happy anytime soon, why am I going through this? it was mum. I looked at him, for some unknown reasons I was feeling a hunch that something's bad going to happen. I picked up the call, cleared my throat so that she won't get any clue that I was crying just now.

"Yes mum?" I tried to sound cheerful, smiling

"Where are you right now and with whom?"

"Me?"

"Yes you. ERICA HWANG. YOU" the way she emphasized all the words

"Me? With Jihoon-

"Don't you dare to lie to me, I called up Jihoon he said he had to go back to hospital, and that was 40 minutes back, WHO IS WITH YOU RIGHT NOW? ARE YOU WITH YOU BOYFRIEND?" she was shouting, she was trying to scare me and I can't let her get me this time.

"No one, I am alone in café right now, why are you asking?"

"Come home right now, I don't want you to be late. Jihoon's parents are coming home today for dinner."

"But we met today-

"It doesn't matter, we need to talk about your wedding. That what matters, as soon as possible"

"Mum-

"Hanging up my dear daughter, make sure to be home within half an hour. No excuse, because I am still holding you"

"You are not holding me and I am far away from home. I can't reach in 30 minutes."

"One more excuse and I will shift your wedding to tomorrow ONLY."

"You can't do this, you know, you can't" I was tearing up, I can't end everything like this.

"I can honey, so comeback fast, you time starts now~" I could feel the mocking tone in her voice

"Mum? MUM" she hung up, I looked at my phone, she hung up for real. I was so pissed at her and I was in misery again.

"Eri, what's wrong?"

"Jeonghan I have to go right now, Jihoon's parents are coming home tonight for dinner." I took my phone and my sling bag, I was about to get up, Jeonghan held my wrist. I looked back at him,

"Eri, stay strong please, you are not this weak, his love didn't make you weak, his love made you stronger, stronger than what you were, at least for your own sake, fight back. Do anything you want, I will be there for you always, I will help you and Seungcheol will be there for you always and forever. We are here to for you"

"Jeonghan, I am so sorry." My tears started falling again my anger resulted in tears again, he released my wrist and I went out running to my car, I can't cry, he is right, Seungcheol's love made me stronger but how to be strong without him? HOW?! I was hitting my steering so bad, my mind couldn't think straight. It couldn't at all.