11 Love had torn this man apart
Gradually, he started talking to me about his ex-girlfriend. His flow was rather inconsistent but I got the gist that he loved her dearly. She left him for another man who was richer than he was. Before she left him, she stole some confidential information and passed it to her lover who was a competitor. He lost millions in the business because of that betrayal. His company was still picking up the pieces of the lost, and the shareholders were very critical of his every move. A vote of no confidence was scheduled for the next month to boot him out as company director.
"All this while, she was so sweet and accommodating. She stayed with me for seven years. How could she do this to me?" He said.
He went back to his ex-girlfriend. She was the turning point of his downward spiral. He had no malicious feelings towards her. In fact I would say that he still loved her and if she waltzed back into his life, he would forgive her for everything.
How strong his feelings of love was! Love had torn this man apart, and destroyed his zest for life. His one-sided feelings strengthened my age-old stance not to go anywhere near love. No men, except for sex.
His voice contained echoes of dejection. He had been replaying this in his mind over and over again. I knew how destructive this could be, to be stuck in a vicious cycle of sadness. It provokes paranoia.
"I hate women. I cannot trust them anymore. No offence to you. You're a call girl. At least you don't pretend to be anything else." He said.
As I was proven not to be much of a conversationalist, I moved towards him and somehow managed to bend both knees in that difficult dress. I lifted his chin so that he looked at me.
"I am so sorry that you had to go through all this." I said.
He was in a sorry state, and I have to admit I softened my stance.
I placed his head on my shoulders and I stroked the curve of his back with my hands. I soothed him with the same constant, reassuring pressure my mother used to employ to tuck me in bed. I felt his body stiffen at my first touch and then I felt him relax in my embrace.
"No offence taken. I am a call girl. I don't pretend to be anything else. You see me as I am." I said softly.
There was no need to speak louder as we were inches apart. He lifted his head from my shoulder and his overly-emotional eyes scrutinized me. His lips parted like he wanted to say something but he could not articulate the words.
When he did not speak, I continued to speak to him, as calmly and non-judgementally as I could.
"You don't have to trust women. You just have to trust yourself." I said.
"I don't trust even myself to do the right thing." He said.
"I trust you." I said.
"You're flattering me again." He said.
"Believe what you want. Even though I was afraid of you, I did not leave. I put my safety in your hands because I trusted you." I said.
Our eyes locked and just as quickly, he turned away.
"May God bless you for being with such a brute." He said.
I looked at his thick, brown, tangled curls. Looking but not really. Perceiving but not too deeply.
"I understand where you're coming from. A betrayal of trust is like a stab in the heart." I continued in as solid a voice I could muster.
I knew that when dealing with emotional people, the best way is to behave in a very calm manner whilst providing support.
"But don't you see that you owe a responsibility to yourself to rise above this? You have to try to make it work. You are worth every single bit of it." I said.
"Why am I worth it, Lila? How can you, a stranger, know my worth when I do not know my own worth?" He asked, in a broken voice.
"Because I think, deep down, by your very questions aimed at me, they show you to be a man who is full of life and passion. This is your strength but it is also your downfall. You're that man who questions and gets his answers no matter what. If the answers are difficult to come by, you keep pushing for them, being loggerheads with me. Is that fighting spirit not worth even a tiny bit to you?" I answered.
