9 A very troubled man

It had been a terrible night. He was a troubled man. He brought trouble with him. He brought up my insecurities. He looked at me like I was a fraud. His piercing eyes knew that at the end of the day, I was a fraud to myself.

"Don't analyse me too much. I am frightened of you but I do try to be honest with you." I said.

This was true. I did articulate half statements of my whole reasoning. Maybe that was why I could not quite get my act together in one piece.

"I'm feeling a bit of a chill. I'll go inside." I said.

He pulled my arm just as soon as I uttered those words.

"I'm sorry. Don't go. I know you're about to head out the door and never to return." He said.

I felt his fingers digging deep onto my skin like a leech.

"I'll stay if you let go of my arm. Please, Matthias, it hurts." I said.

I did not like the way my voice shook. I tried to calm myself down.

"I apologize for my behaviour. Do not be frightened of me, please." He said, releasing his grip on my arm.

He walked into the living room. I followed suit. He did not speak to me when he went straight into the bedroom, slammed the door like yesterday and came out five minutes later, looking a bit calmer than he was.

"I have taken my prescription pills. They will calm me down, I hope." He said.

My mind told me that I should leave but my heart told me to stay. It would be alright. He was not violent; he was just a troubled man. I did not judge people. I had to stay.

He sat at the settee opposite me and started talking again.

"Let's continue from where we left before we became distracted. You said that you're Thai. I believe you but you do not speak with a Thai accent. Where else did you travel?" He asked.

"I left the country when I was eleven. Due to my mother's work, we moved south to Malaysia where we stayed for a few years and eventually to Singapore. Prospects were better there for my mother." I said.

"How did you end up in this suburb here smack right at the other end of the world?" He asked.

I could see that his curiosity was piped.

"We moved to Europe eventually when circumstances changed. My mother's partner travelled quite a bit around Europe due to his job as a researcher. I guess I naturally picked up the accents here as well." I said, but I did not elaborate further.

He seemed satisfied with my explanation for the time being.

"How would you describe me? I have told you how I would describe myself." He asked.

"I cannot know you in just two days. I would need to spend more time with you in order to get more than just a cursory glimpse of your character." I said, honestly, since he did say he appreciated honesty.

Still, it was a rather mild way to put it. I thought that he was rude, bad-tempered, troubled and strange combined with a dramatic flair for arrogance. He possessed a knack for unusual discourse - all this I gathered within two days.

Most of all, I was now ambivalent about him. He was an enigma. I did not know what to make out of him.

"Fair enough Lila. I shall endeavour to talk about why I am the way you see me right now. Scary and troubled; I should think, from what I gather from those expressive eyes of yours..." He said.

"Those are your own words, Mr. Boardmann. Perhaps that is how you see yourself." I said.

I decided to call him Mr. Boardmann instead of Matthias. I did not feel he deserved a more intimate first name. It was all just work, and my work had been stressful the past two nights.