41 Life Awakening in Dominik

"It means where?" Dominik asked with a little excitement. "Where should we go?"

"I do not know" Andrzej was hesitant. "On the Wisła, to Łazienki Park[1] or to Paulina's restaurant. Anywhere." 

They stared at each other for a moment, then, for unknown reasons, Dominik blushed, and his response was extremely low.

"I think we can go to this restaurant."

Nowicki did not expect to receive his consent. As it rained, he felt his friend begin to recover. The tears that Dominik shed were not in vain. He cleared his body of negative emotions and was now able to take normal human actions and even face his anxiety.

Andrzej was only worried if the actor's body was physically ready to leave the house. The fever left him fairly quickly, but his appetite returned slowly. Maybe the smells of the restaurant's kitchen and Paulina's smiling face will remedy this problem?

"Are you sure you can do it?"

"Yes," he replied firmly. "If you stay with me, I can handle anything."

This response caused strange feelings in Andrzej's heart. He was surprised that he had become such a support for Dominik, he was glad about it, but also worried. He did not want the actor to change his addiction to Marczak for an addiction to him.

Śliwiński had to go out among people as soon as possible, meet new people and make friends. The more people around him, the less he will be dependent on a specific individual.

"Just don't play the hero. If you feel worse, tell me immediately."

Andrzej fixed his eyes on his face. He wanted to see every twitch of her muscles when he heard the answer. He had to convince himself that he could trust Dominik and his judgment.

The actor was also looking at him. His aquamarine eyes grew brighter and brighter at last with a subtle light. His pale cheeks flushed slightly and the corners of his mouth lifted up in a warm, though shy smile.

"Of course," he said cheerfully. He looked as if he was recovering what his lover's betrayal had torn from his heart. "I want to thank Paulina for everything" he announced, moving towards the stairs. "You think we can stop by some flower shop?"

"Sure," he replied, surprised. It was nice to see life awakening in Dominik.

"Great! So we'll leave before three o'clock."

The actor had already run up the stairs and disappeared from Nowicki's sight.

***

Dominik closed the door to his room behind him and leaned against it. He took his phone out of his pocket and, holding it with both hands, slumped to the floor.

His heart ached. It hurt so much that it was hard for him to breathe. Why did Andrzej have to move so many sensitive strings today?

Andrzej ...

Dominik was clutching the phone as if he wanted to hug it, but the device was too small for him to do so. At that moment, it was the only source where Mark's voice was drawn. His lover recorded several messages for him in which he asked for contact. No, he was 'asking' that too little of a word, he was begging. Part of Dominik's heart was struggling to answer him, to throw himself into his strong, dominant arms and entrust himself entirely to them - soul, career and body.

He would have done it had Andrzej not been in his house. He would have succumbed to the sweet temptation, though he knew Marek would only be good to him as much as he liked. It has always been this way, every time. Dominik knew he was not strong enough to stand up to him alone, which is why he needed Andrzej so desperately, his courage and strength. If not he…

He knew it wasn't fair. He used Nowicki and his goodness, but what else could he do? If Andrzej was not around, he lost himself in his painful memories and, pinned down by them to the ground, he did not even want to live. No one else was able to motivate him to breathe.

'My mother,' he thought, feeling a new feeling of bitterness. He knew she loved him, but since the opportunity had arisen for him to star in a movie, she had insisted that he go this way. She decided that her son had received a precious gift from God that he should share with the world and prompted him to go to the first casting of his life. She didn't mean to be wrong. Her son had a talent and the idea to live off of it was, according to her, the most appropriate. After all, she directed him on this path.

It's not like Dominik regretted being an actor. He had learned to like his job, only in those seven years he had suffered too much disappointment and suffering. His relationship with Marek was full of passion, but also a constant fear of discovery, loneliness and selfishness.

Dominik knew his mother had no idea what her son's life had turned into. It wasn't her fault his heart was crumbled to dust now. What he accused her was that she let him out of the nest too early. He was not yet eighteen when she allowed him to go into the great world that had so quickly become his prison. True, he and Marek were happy then, but now he knew how empty that happiness was ...

Śliwiński rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Now it will be different, completely different. He has met new people who are ready to become his friends. Andrzej is brave and strong. He gives him kindness and support, expecting nothing in return. Not only that, being with him, Dominik always had the impression that Nowicki cares primarily about his happiness. Only when Dominik feels good does he feel satisfied.

It's so different from what he had so far in his life.

Andrzej wanted to help him get out of his prison so much that he shared his friends with him. And for this Dominik was eternally grateful to him.

To Paulina too.

However, while expressing gratitude to Nowicki will be difficult and awkward for the actor, for Paulina he will give her a beautiful bouquet of flowers and say, "thank you." This was not enough to express the true gratitude of his heart, but his usual habits will allow him to symbolically convey his emotions. Andrzej, on the other hand, was something else, something more valuable. There weren't enough gestures, symbols and words to repay what he did for Dominik.

Someday, however, he will find a way. He was sure of that.

 

[1] Łazienki Park, or Łazienki Królewskie, is a 18th classicist complex built for the last king of Poland, Stanisław August Poniatowski. Currently one of the tourist attractions of Warsaw.

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