The First Day

My name is Hitori Southern, a first year at Dachi High School. Most people think that I'm crazy. But I'm not, I used to be out of control until I learned how to "fit" in. Every day in class it's the same things, but I just can't get over the thought of who I used to be and who I've turned into.

When I was in grade school, I went to Dechu Elementary. I was always picked on for how different I acted. I always thought it was bad to be different from everyone else. Since then, I've always been alone, I've had schoolmates that I would talk to and spend time with at school. But whenever I got home, I knew I have always been alone.

In middle school I went to Dicha Middle School. I made a few more schoolmates that I spent time with. But once high school came, we all stopped talking. I felt replaced, like I didn't belong.

On the first day of high school, I woke up in such a foul mood I just wanted to stab someone, but by the time I got to school I was finally able to relax. "Good morning Dachi High School and welcome to the first day of school, you will be heading to breakfast in the cafeteria or you will be heading to your homeroom class." A teacher said over the intercom. I made my way to breakfast and sat down alone on a corner seat at the tables. I could hear people making comments like "He's at the short table." And "What a loser, he's sitting alone." "Why are people so rude?" I asked myself. Sometimes, I didn't even understand what some of the things they said mean. I kept asking myself what's wrong with sitting at the short table. But I learned to ignore everyone around me and keep my head up.

Homeroom was a pain to deal with, we had to go there every day just for roll call. The whole first week of school we had a 30-minute homeroom, it would cut the rest of our classes time by 5 minutes and it was just so we can go over the rules and expectations. Throughout the day I saw people that went to my middle school and some people I've never seen before. But more importantly, I saw her, Akari Tachibana. Another first year and someone I've been going to school with for four years. We've never had any classes together and have talked only once. But I've had a crush on her for 3 years now. Her friend Rinne Abiko I've also had a crush on for 3 years. But I've never had the courage to confront them.

After first period I ran up to a schoolmate of mine and talked to him on the way to second period. "Hey, Taki wait up." I said to Taki as he was walking out of class. Taki is classmate that I talk to every once in a while. "Is it me or did it feel like first period lasted forever?"

"It's just you. It went by fairly quick to me." For some reason he looked like he didn't want to talk to me. I don't know why though. "See ya Hitori."

"See ya Taki." I had a feeling that I felt every time I spoke to a person. They just want me out of their sight, like I'm annoying them.

By lunch I noticed more and more people I knew. Most people were hanging out with old friends and some of the new kids were sitting with them. "How can they get friends so fast?" I asked myself. After I ate my lunch, I went in the courtyard and sat near the doors to my fourth period class. And I saw them. Akari and Rinne both sitting near the doors as well. I have lunch with them. I wanted to say hi to them but I didn't have the courage to. "Why am I so useless?" I asked myself. I looked at my hand and slapped myself as hard as I could across the face. "Snap out of it. Just act normal and don't think about it." Every few minutes I would look over to them and see them looking at me. I always darted my eyes back to my book and continued reading. Why would she be looking at me, I thought to myself. It makes no sense, I'm not cute, not strong, and would just make people sad. I was looking to deep into it. "No, that can't be it. Snap out of it." I grabbed my notebook and started to write in it.

Once the bell rung, I grabbed all of my things, shoved it into my bag and made my way to my fourth period. For some reason, I could feel someone staring at me. I looked around and Akari was staring at me. I looked at her and we both darted our eyes to our work. "Could this mean what I think it means?" I asked myself. "No, I'm looking into it to deep."

For the rest of the class, I focused on my work.

Once the bell rung it was time to head to Spanish. I saw some familiar faces in Spanish but I saw and old classmate of mine, it was Sara. Sara and I have known each other for 3 years and I often cheat off of her on subjects I don't understand. "Funny seeing you here, I thought you took Spanish in middle school." I said.

"Why would you think that?" Sara asked.

"Not really sure, always thought you would take more high school type classes in middle school to get the out of the way."

"The only high school class I took was an online course." Sara and I planned to do Criminal Justice in eighth grade so we wouldn't need to do an online course in high school. I fell behind and had to switch to a Hope class. I had to take at least one online class and had to do a Hope class to graduate high school. So, I did both at once.

Once Spanish class ended, I had my English class and my Digital Media class left. At the end of the day, I had to rush to my bud so I wouldn't be left behind.

When I got to the bus, I was panting from running with a 20-pound backpack. "Oh god, I need to get here quicker and not get distracted." I said to myself as I was sitting down at my seat.

On the way home the kid I sat with kept elbowing me in the back. I was tempted to slap him but stopped myself. "Can you stop elbowing my back please?" I asked him.

"Sure, sorry." The kid replied.

I fell asleep on the bus and nearly missed my stop. My grandmother was waiting for me with the car and asked the bus driver about me and he called me. "Hitori Southern, are you on the bus?"

"Yea, sorry I'm right here."

"Did you fall asleep or something?" The bus driver asked.

"Yea." I replied. Walking off the bus I heard a kid say "Dumb ass." It was a kid that also got off at my stop. I just ignored him and hopped into my grandmother's car.

"Hey Hito, how was your day?" She asked.

"It was a basic school day, what do you expect?" For some reason I had anger flowing through my veins. I need to hide my anger or she'll keep bothering me, I thought to myself.

Once we got home, I headed straight to my room to relax. "This makes no sense, why am I so angry?" I laid there in my bed for what felt like hours thinking about everything that happened today. "Maybe high school is worst then I thought it was." I decided to ignore my anger and talk to some of my online friends.

"Hey south, down to play?" My friend Snake said. We all agreed to call each other by our gamer-tags instead of our real names so we can keep our identities to ourself.

The more I played the more I got. Some days I got so bored from playing games I just wanted to sleep. The more I thought about all my old online friends, the more insane I felt. "I could just…" More thoughts kept racing to my head the more I talked. "…end it all here. I wouldn't be missed." I said to myself. "But I can't, I need to live through this hell and act happy." I just laid and bed a fell asleep not caring that I was hungry.

"Hito, wait for me, please wait for me until I'm ready."

"Hito, Hito, Hito." I opened my eyes and saw my grandmother trying to wake me up, I could feel tears flowing down my face. "Hito, are you okay?"

"Im fine." I had to lie to get her off my back. I walked to the bathroom with my cloths and my phone and sat down on the toilet seat. "Why was I crying? What was that dream about?" I had to act like it was nothing and do research on why I was crying during lunch at school.

I walked out of the bathroom and went to the fridge to get two bottles of water for school. Walked to my room and made sure I had everything I needed for school.

"Hey Hito, it's about time to leave."

I walked out of my room with my bag on and we walked to the car to head toward the bus stop. "Have a good day at school." I heard my grandmother say while I was closing the door.

"Yep." I quietly replied back.

Once the bus arrived, I hopped on and was ready for another horrible ride. But this time the kid wasn't elbowing me in the back, he was respecting my personal space. "Thank god." I muttered under my breath.

The next few days were all the same, go over the rules, expectations and when I got home it was always straight to games...

"This is going to be a horrible school year."