1 Some say..

Some say love is Family. You feel it in the food your Mother cooks and when your Father says he's proud of you. Celebrating holidays and special occassions together. Cheering one another. Supporting through hard times. Guiding the next generations.

Others say love is Friends. Experiencing cheap thrills, breaking rules and disobeying laws together. Crying over spilled milk. Rejoicing over a nonsensical thing. Laughing over failing grades.Sticking through thick and thin eventhough your not related by blood.

And then there's love you see in Couples.

Having that numbing feeling when you hold hands. That erratic beating of your heart when looking at each others eyes. Butterflies in stomach when you kiss. Celebrating monthly and annualy for their special day. Promises and wishful thinking of being together, never ever going to an end.

But for me, love is..

Love for me is..

It is..

Something difficult to achieve.

Reading it's meaning in the dictionary and listening to other people's story about love, it felt beautiful, exciting and fierce but I just want to steer away from it. Cause love brings trouble and I don't need one more to add up my list. Love betrays you, hurts you. Love will break you to the point of wanting to die. Love will deprive you of your dreams, destroy your carreer. It won't pay for your bills and definitely doesn't give you salaries. Love is vicious, horrible and scary. It could make a person lose their minds and do crazy things. Most of all, Love is tiring.

So as I glance up at the tall building in front of me, I slowly took one step at a time. I promise not to make the same mistakes I've done in the past. I promise not to let my emotions take over me ever again. Each step I took I recited the promises I made last night like prayers.

I promised myself to be selfish.