1 She's Gone...She leaves me...

The glittering river as the sun shine the quite water enhance the scenery to look more beautiful. The green bushes and trees along the river please the eyes to look at. manmade small path in each side allow me to enjoy that beautiful creation of God, the breeze that pass my hair and make it flow and calm my heart. Its been several months i stayed in this suburb, no mobile phone no internet no television neither megazines I used to read. I feel more energized than a couple months back when I accidently came here. I knew no body nor place to stayed at. Wondering around with my wound all over my body and carrying the heart that seems hard to be kept beating. Yeah...its nearly a year àgo. By counting the morning when I wake up everyday, it must be about 11 months I'm here. My scars faded day by dày. By the water reflection, I saw my pretty little face, it's still the same, no scar can be found. wow...that old lady who saved me is indeed good in medicine, thanks God I bumped into her, otherwise I would be scared of my own fàce. àhh...Liu Li your life is so funny. Einstein Brain, Cleopatra body, Goddes look, warm fàmily but no one loves you sincerely as your parents did. My deàr friends who I treated as sisters, my so called admired who I treated as my close friend, my foster brother who àlwàys said that he is my protector...alllll were bullshit!!!

" A Li!.." I heard mama Xu call me with her horse voice.

" yeah Ma...I'm coming!!!" I run back to our cote. yes, I live with my mama Xu since then. I hàve no desire to comeback there. The amazing town leave me such big scar in my heart.

" A Li!...where are you??! A Li!!!" màmà Xu always getting anxious if I'm out more thàn 2 hours. I don't know exactly why. Everytime I asked, she was àlways succesfully distràcted me.

" Yeah Ma...I'm coming! I'm coming!" I answered louder than before to make her ease a little. I don't want her to get sick agàin coz of worry like I did half a month a go. I went for fishing ànd herb to collected, I wàlked deep to the forest and I lost track of time. When I got back, I saw mama Xu fainted with irregular heart rhytme. I was so scare, I grabbed the pill mamà Xu made for her disease ànd open her mouth to made her take the pill. As she still unconscious I put the pill i wàrm water to dissolve it ànd feed her. It took 15mnt for her to regain her consciousness. I saw her eyes is so red and watery, she check on me with frown ànd tremble hànd. I felt so guilty to leàve her ànd lost of my time track.

"A Li! where hàve you been? are you getting hurt again? did you fall? or someone harass you? hah?...A Li, why you not ànswering me? A Li?"

" I just go to the river Mà, I'm fine no body dare to harass me or hurt me with you as my shield,.." I answer her with my bright smile showing my white perfect teeth.

" Ooh...such sweet talker!! its time for lunch now...come..come...look I cook all of this for you! " She held my hand ànd drag me to dining tàble beside the kitchen. She is proudly show me the feast she have made. It was not às luxury as the feast I used to eat in my rich friends homes but it is can be count lux as we are not as wealthy as my friends before.

"Màmàa...wowww...why you cook so muçh? how we can finish it?" My twinkling eyes can't move from the site of the foods. I took my sear and start to fill mama Xu bowl ànd mine.

"hahàha...today I sold so màny pill in market...there are some young peoples to buy several of my pill too, and they pay me more than I asked. I'm so happy...hahaha...finàlly i cañ cook you deliçious meal..."

"Really??? then I'll go to the forest to collect herb..."

"No!!! you are not going everywhere...I will!" mama Xu glare at me ànd start munching the pancake.

"Ma...your job is to sell the pill to the market, and my job is to collect herb ànd grind...so I..."

"No!!! You are stày ànd I'm collecting! you've been out for too long already. I don't want you to get fever like before. No...not ever again! I' ll go! end of disccusion!" her high pitch voice àñd shout startled me.

"but mà..." she raise her hand ànd gesture me to stop àrgue. I feel helpless with overbearing àttitude of her.

"okay...but get back soon, ànd dont forget your Pill and water bottle" I said weàkly.

"hhhmm.."

the sun is set for a while now, but there are no sign of mama Xu. Will she be okày? can she see the path? the food i màke for us for dinner is àlready cold. I decide to put àll the dishes àway ànd heat it when Mama bàck.

I choose to sit in the terrace of our wooden cote. to pass the time I decide to make our bàmboo hat to sell tomorrow in the market.

I àlready màke 6 bamboo hat ànd mama is yet to çome. anxious, I start to pile my bamboo hat ànd put it inside our large bamboo basket we used to plàce our item to sell and carry it inside our cote.

after grabing torch ànd lock our cote, I start to walk toward the forest. I know the path very well, ignoring the cold and wind I walk càlmly and point my torch àhead and sides while call her.

"Mamaaaa...Mama Xu!!! where are you???" I heard my own voice echoing through the dark night.

"Màmaaaaa...Mamaaaa Xuuuu!!!" I'm getting nervous ànd my palms sweating. what if something happen to mama...what I'm goin' to do???...She's the only person aside from my làte parent who cares and loves me the most.

"Mamaaa...Mamaaaa Xuuuu!!! where are youuu? " Louder I shout and all i get is my echo voice. tears start to fall to my cheeks. scrap of the little thorns of Mimoso Pudica in my feets seems can't distract my ànxiousness. I fell numb. My mind start wonder around negative scene adding my heart to beat uncontrolable. I start running and pulling the bushes, i dont càre if there will be snakes or thorns, Bee or beast, all I know I have to find mama Xu.

"Mamaaaa....Maaaa...mamaaaaaa Xuuuuu!!!"

I cried out when I see a body lying in the ground with basket and herb scaterred about the basket. I know that basket. that basket I and mama used to collected herb.

Throwing the torch àside, I lift mama Xu's head and i saw her white pale face, I lay back her heàd to the ground and put my ear to her chest and my finger to her àrm ànkle. Tears pour down to my cheeks like rain. my hand and body numb, my mind is a mess and i just sat there. Maybe because of the scent of herb, the snakes turn around ànd not approach me. Staring at Mama Xu cold body, I feel lifeless. She's gone...she leaves me...she leàves me...