Chapter Ten: Emotional Support |Rosette|

As I expected, Cecile fell in love with the Mental Health Morning idea. It wouldn't be a stretch for her to fall in love with the person who came up with the idea too. So I told her:

"It was Scottie's idea."

She glanced at me.

"Scottie?"

Calling Scott by his nickname had become normal for me. From the moment he told me to call him that it seemed normal. It wasn't awkward or weird when I said it. After all, I was calling my friend by his nickname, nothing to be embarrassed about. Yet, saying it in front of Cecile brought about an unpleasant burning to my face.

"Scott." I said blurted as if correcting myself.

"I... meant Scott."

Cecile chuckled.

"Why d'you call him that?"

"That's what his friends call him. That's what he says but I think that's what he wants to be called— it suits him better. A guy named Scott plays hockey and has way too many girlfriends, but a guy named Scottie likes to draw and only has a crush on one girl, but he's a little too timid to talk to her."

When I spoke about him my chest swelled and a warm feeling washed over me, like I'd warped myself in a blanket fresh from the dryer.

"Wow, look at that smile." Cecile said with the same tone someone would use if they say a solar eclipse for the first time.

"You must really like him."

I shook my head.

"No I don't—really. He's just the first real friend I've made aside from you so he's... special."

He's special echoed in my brain a few times after I said it. I wasn't sure if my brain did that to confirm it or just to torment me. Probably both.

Cecile didn't wasn't satisfied with my answer; she wanted to pry. I knew she wouldn't, but I didn't want to take any chances.

"I'm going to bed." I said. Again, quickly like I was making an excuse.

Cecile and I like to stay up late. Often evening would turn into day break without us noticing. We'd only call it a night early if we were sick, so Cecile asked:

"You okay?"

I nodded.

"Yeah." I pulled the covers over my head.

"Just tired," I said.

Which was true, not because I needed sleep, because pinning is rather exhausting.

***

"Why are we here? It's freezing." I whined. Speaking louder than usual to prevent the sound of skates grinding against ice from drowning out my voice.

"Well, I'm here supporting Tyrone as he tries out for the hockey cause that's what friends do."

Scott looked over at me.

"And you're here for emotional support cause being around athletes gives me anxiety."

I sighed

"What doesn't give you anxiety?

"That's a good question. Couldn't tell you, but it helps having you around helps though. I should just have you next to me all the time."

I wouldn't mind that... is what I wanted to say, but I developed a fear of having things I said being misconstrued as romantic. I knew Scott wouldn't take anything I said that way, but I didn't want to push my luck.

Instead, I rolled my eyes and focused my attention to the group of boys doing various drills on the ice. Among them, there was one boy who excelled in everything. He was the hockey tryout version of the one kind who does more than the bare minimum for a project and makes everyone else look bad.

I pointed to him.

"That him?"

Scott nodded.

"You weren't kidding when you said he was a god at hockey."

"Yeah, he only tries out as a formality. His already on the team."

Scott sighed. For the last few days he seemed pensive, almost sad. He wouldn't say what bothered him. When I asked him he'd shrugged it off and say was fine, just in a mood. Whatever that mood was, watching his friend glide across the ice made it worse.

"Life really screws people over sometimes. Some people get to be tall, athletic, cool, handsome, get all the girls, and then some people get to be... me." He said. His voice broke, like he might burst into tears.

I patted his shoulder.

"You're cool too."

"Am I?"

"I mean you're not the guy girls would throw themselves at, but you say and do a lot of cool things. You're creative—which is cool. And—sensitive... that trait gets a bad rep, but that just means you're nice and everyone likes that. I wouldn't say you're handsome... but you're.. cute."

I took off my scarf. The ice suddenly became much too warm.

"Wait... guys don't like being called cute. You're... agreeably attractive."

My ramblings stole my breath, and my raising body temperature didn't make it any better.

Scott chuckled and gave that small half smile, for a second my heart stopped.

"Thanks, that made me feel a lot better. This why I need you around all the time."

I forced myself to smile.

"Yep... I said all of that to cheer you up. Love you, Scottie." I said "love you" in that mocking way friends do. I didn't mean it in that way though, and hoped he figure that out somehow.

He didn't.

"Love you," Scott said with a smile in the same insincere tone I'd used.

I wasn't sure which hurt, the fact he thought I didn't mean it or the fact he didn't mean it at all. Probably both.