It was the time of spring when I first met her. She carried a smile like angels, her aura shined bright. I couldn't help but notice how she stood out in the whole conference room. I was in her city for a business conference. She was supposed to give out the presentation. She stood right in front of me, with confidence, while addressing all of us. During the first eye contact I ended up giving a little awkward, to be honest I'm not proud of that expression either. On the second glance We actually smiled at each other. I don't mean to sound childish or a character from rom-com, but I could feel that same energy between us. Her smile, her voice, her eyes I couldn't help but only notice it. In the end I only heard her voice, not her words. All the time that went by I just kept looking at her. She knew I was, but she didn't make me divert my eyes. A good sign I would say. I have no idea how the conference went. Neither I want to know. All I know is that I felt something I never did before. As I was going out, I saw her going inside a cab. My body rushed with some weird hormone. The moment I saw her leaving all I could think about was, I need to catch her! I need to see her! In that moment, the guy who couldn't even make this much efforts for his own girlfriend ran towards her. Now if I think back, it wasn't really me in that situation. I can never even think of doing it. As I reached to the doorsteps the cab was already gone. I got inside the one right after her. At some point, I was acting as a madman. I actually pushed the guy who was taking that cab away. "Quick! Follow that cab!", I said while panting. During the whole time I following her cab, all I could think about was, what was I doing? It's not the first time I'm attracted to a girl, so why's this one different? And if I do catch her, what will I even say? While I was fighting with my own subconscious, the cab suddenly stopped. That girl was getting off in front of a big building. 'That's a nice place to live', I thought while the cab driver interrupted, "Sir, are you getting off?" I nodded and got off. As soon as I was ready to call her out, my mind pointed out my dumbness. 'What was her name you idiot?!' Oh no. Did I really got lost that much? But I didn't have any time to resent. I shouted, "hello miss!" I know, not one of my best openings but I can't help it. Fortunately, she turned back. "Are you talking to me?" Crap! Now what? I think I somehow saved my cool personality. I started with a gentle smile although I was hell of a nervous. "Hi, we met at the conference. Do you remember?" Damn I couldn't help staring into her eyes. She raised her eyes as she said, "Oh yes! But how come you are here? I thought members already left." I swear I was sweating like crazy; I should stop taking actions without thinking. "Oh yes. I just wanted take a look around the city. I just spotted you so I thought of stopping by." Thank god for my poker face. I didn't think I would have escaped this interrogation. She gave me a cute gentle smile; I could feel my heart melting softly. Is this what they call love at first sight? I thought people were stupid enough to believe in this crap, but I was proven wrong. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't catch your name during the conference. Would you mind?", she asked me. It was a lucky situation. At least I wasn't the only person to not remember the names. "Daniel Saren, please to meat you." I shook hands with her. "Hazel Grace, me too." Finally! I was able to make a good impression. We went to a nearby café. We hit off. Her personality was magnetic. I didn't take my eyes off her the whole time. I was living in that moment so consciously that I didn't even care about rest of my life. Unfortunately, I had to leave that night. We shared numbers and promised to text every time we are free. Obviously, I didn't tell her about my feelings. It was without any doubt too soon. As I sat on the plane, she texted me, 'Have a safe trip.' The little gesture somehow meant a lot that time. I wondered how my soul had never had this feeling. As soon as I landed, I texted her. We had a long talk about our work and how it sucked that I had to leave. For me life was never at a fast pace. I never felt the feeling of time being 'too fast' or 'too slow'. But that day, four hours passed by in four minutes. I couldn't believe it myself. What was this? And is it really okay for me to be like this? The question was already answered because somehow, being like this made me feel blissful. Sooner than I know it was the time for our first 'Goodnight' text. That night I had the excitement of a twelve-year-old. I kept thinking about her. What would we talk about the next day? Am I bothering her? I started giving a thought to myself, how my body never felt so many emotions in my whole life. I came far, conquered a lot, but that ecstasy was still missing. My heart was beating fast the whole day and the feeling was great. Maybe I didn't need a successful career or money to be happy after all. This was weird for me too. Believe it or not, it was the first time when I actually got into thinking about myself and my life. I always used to ignore this moment saying that I don't have time. Now I'm thinking, maybe I didn't want to give it time. Dear Lord, what has this one-day experience done to me? My eyes started closing. I slept peacefully. The next morning, I woke up to a 'good morning' text from her. I could actually imagine how she looked in her bed-hair. Right now, she must be pouring coffee. I texted her back and I was right! Is it really something to be proud of? Well it's too late to think about it. We started talking again. Somehow, I'm never out of conversation with her. But talking to her also feels good. Her opinion about different stuff are quite unique. She has a confident personality, but I noticed her so much that I came to see, she keeps a childish and cute side which she only lets out during safe time. Her pajamas must be pink with cute characters on it, I started imagining with my eyes closed. 'I need to get ready for work now', she interrupted my silly mind. Yes! Me too! Did I really forget about it? I rushed to work. The guy who's fifteen minutes early reached fifteen minutes late to office that day. There is something wrong with my head. Not that I care now. My day went by pretty well. Got a text in the break time too. I ended up using every single second of my free time. As the time went by, I got companion for me. Texting 'good morning', spending the day thinking about her. Then actually calling her. Discussing my day's good and bad parts. Going to bed with a 'good night' text, which now had a heart emoji with it. That's how my days went. We even sent each other some presents. She was really happy with them. And the ones I got from her, went straight up to glass cabin. Because c'mon, I won't risk them being around and getting damaged. Those are like a treasure to me. I even thought of confessing my love, once or twice. But this time, the feeling was so hard that if she didn't accept it, I would be broken. So, I decided to let that thought go. It was all going well, till one day I got the news which shook me to the core. It was the day of cold winter season. I was watching TV with a boring news channel, being wrapped up in my blanket. I'm really sensitive to cold. Hazel told me she had some reports to finish, so she wouldn't be texting for a while. I was about to doze off before news reporter started telling about her city, my ears were sensitive to every single thing related to her. But this time, I wished I never heard it. They were telling about a big fire in an apartment complex, due to gas explosion. Everyone of the residents died in the accident. I saw the name of the building. It was her place. I couldn't believe in what I was seeing. I mean, it can't be true right? She can't die like this. No, she can't. I mean, we even promised to meet again. She can't break the promise, right? It can't be possible. Tears started running down my eyes. I couldn't even think right or wrong. My body started shaking badly. Why? Why would god take her away from me? Am I that bad of a person? I grabbed my phone and searched for her number. It was the only contact in recents. Even this thought made my tears break. She can't go away like this. I called her; it didn't connect. Even the bell didn't ring. My thoughts weren't inline. I grabbed my coat and headed to the airport. 'I need to go there', that's all I could think about. That day, I felt time being too slow. A three-hour flight felt like three years. As soon as I reached there, I went to the police office. Somehow in my mind I wanted her to be miraculously alive. I asked about the fire, they said that some of the bodies are not even found. I found myself helpless. Is she really gone? What should I even do now? What am I supposed to do? I don't even remember how living without her felt like. But I knew it wasn't pretty. I started walking around the city. I stumbled across the café we went to. I went inside and sat on the same spot we did. Ever since I came to know her, I've been in love with Hazelnut latte. When I was it on the menu, it felt a little cute. As I was sitting there, I started imagining, how she must look when she came here every time. She used to tell me that she liked to do her work here more than at home. I wished she came here instead of working in her home, but the proof was right there. She texted me she didn't felt like going to café today. I chuckled in pain, for how unlucky this day is. I left the café and walked around the neighborhood. There was a grocery store in front of me. I stopped there. As I went inside, I realized it was the same store she used to hop in. she sent me pictures of her while shopping, the background was same. I stared walking around. I spotted cereal section. We argued about it a lot. Her and mine favorites were completely opposite. I should have given up, I thought. As I kept on looking around, I felt pain in chest. I wanted to cry in that moment. "Are you looking for something sir?", an employee came up to me and asked. "Something you can never give me", I replied as I walked out. I sat on bench in the park, where she used to jog. She must be really concerned about her health. I started hallucinating her figure running in front of me. I cried and cried until my eyes were all dried out. I miss her. I miss her so much. There is no way I can live without her. She can't go away like this. After my dad died in college, this was the first time I cried like this. She was indeed special. But did I ever tell her that? No. I should have. I regretted every single fact. I never told her how much she meant to me. I never told how cute she was. I never told her that she was the only one I shared secrets with. But most of all, how much I loved her.
I think even the universe plays with you. My phone buzzed. The name on it made me fall off that bench. Hazel. It's impossible. I must be dreaming. What the hell? Do I know any other hazel? H-A-Z-E-L. Yes, the name was correct. I picked it up. Every inch of me was shaking. I prayed, please let it be her. "H-hazel?", I replied in a breaking voice. The sound that came back made me tear up again. It was my angel. My same cute angel whose voice makes me tear up. The same voice which made me feel light. Oh god, it's really her. "Daniel, where are you?", she asked. "in your city. But where are you? Your apartment building was on fire. And you didn't answer your call. And I got worried. Where-where are yo-", my voice cracked. I can't believe it's her. I sat down and started crying like a three-year-old. "Daniel, calm down, calm down.", she soothed me. "I just heard about my apartment but I'm already in front of your door." "Wait, what?", I asked. "Yeah, actually I wanted to surprise you, so I came. But you are not home." Her reply confused me even more. My thoughts were messed up. "Doesn't it only take three hours to reach there? Why didn't you call me sooner?" "Oh, actually I was too excited and got into the wrong line at the airport. So, in the end, I was at a different city.", she said in an embarrassed yet cute tone. See didn't I tell you, quite childish. "Wait there, I'm coming", I hung up. I rushed to the airport. It was rude to hang up, but I couldn't think of anything other than seeing her. Again, on the same day, three hours felt like three years. I ran up to my apartment, panting hard. Please be there that's all I was praying the whole time. I love this woman. As I reached my doorstep, I saw the angel. Standing there with a cute smile. An aura that shines bright. Hazel. "Daniel are you okay?", she came to me. I hugged her tightly. "Don't scare me like that dummy.", I started crying. We sat there, hugging each other, for god knows how long. As I calmed down, we went inside. I prepared hazelnut latte for her. My childish self kept looking at her, making sure she's there. I wanted her to be there forever. She sat with me the whole night. I'm not proud of showing my cry face to her, but at that point, I didn't really care. "I'm happy to be here.", she said. I knew I can't let it slide this time. I collected my confidence as I held her hand tight, "Hazel Grace, I love you." I finally did it. But the anxiety of her rejection was still there. She pressed my hand tight as she smiled. I could feel her warmth from just a smile. "What took you so long idiot?", she said.