1 Chapter 1

'You got mail. It seems pretty thick. Must be good news.' Chichi's mother said as he handed him the envelope.

At first Chichi was hesitant to take the envelope, and he just stared at it. But his mother grew impatient and just tossed it on his lap. He finally opened it, and cheered when he read the cover letter. A bunch of leaflets, brochures, and pamphlets fell in his lap. 'I got in! Mama! I'm going to the same university as you and my grandparents!'

'Don't forget your father went there too!'

'That man lost every right to be called father when he abandoned us. Even Grandma and Grandpa don't want anything to do with him!'

'You shouldn't speak of him that way!'

'He was the first alpha in his family for generations, yet he abandoned us because we are omegas! Hell, that's the whole reason I was born! He forced your heat for the hell of it. Then knocked you up!'

His mother sighed and left the room, but not before saying, 'Congratulations on your acceptance.'

Chichi sighed. He would never understand why his mother tried to protect the sperm donor's dignity so much. He plodded out of his room, leaving the documents on the floor. He opened the sliding door that led to the backyard, where he knew his grandmother would be.

'Chichi. You look like hell.'

'Thanks Grandma Mai.' Chichi sighed and joined his grandmother in pulling weeds from the garden. 'I got my acceptance letter to university.'

'Isn't that a good thing?' The ashen haired woman asked.

'Minnie was more interested in me respecting the owner of the dick that made me.'

'Oooh cranky. Calling your mother by his name.' She sighed and then continued, 'I definitely don't approve of that man's actions, to the point I cannot recognize him as my son. But Minnie, he did love him. Probably still does. I don't know what it is like to be a male omega, or bonded. So, I can't imagine Minnie's thoughts or feelings. I do know he's suffering though, being away from his Alpha. So I think, it's best to just say "Yessir" when he demands you to respect that man. Then don't say anything at all.'

Chichi frowned. 'Mama never shows me he is suffering, until he's forced to by his own body. Why not?'

'Because you are his everything. He believes he has to be strong for you.'

'I wish he could rely on me a bit more… I'm not a kid anymore. And I want to hear things from his mouth, not yours or Grampa Isa. Everything I know about being an omega comes from you two.'

Grandma Mai smiled wistfully at her grandson. 'I wish that too. But we all deal with trauma in our own way. And he has a lot. Just like you.'

Chichi leaned on his grandmother's shoulder and tried to take deep breaths. 'I guess my brain associates it with the same feeling of abandonment that came from that dick. I don't like feeling that way, because I do know Mama is doing his best. I know he'd never leave like that. But --'

Mai rubbed the chestnut haired grandchild's head. 'But you are still like every kid. You want to learn from your mom. And that's okay. Don't feel guilty for feeling that way. Besides, I don't think it is that your mom doesn't want to.'

'Do you think Mama feels like a failure?'

'That's something you'd have to ask him.'

Chichi nodded and stood up. 'Thanks for the talk Grandma Mai.' He then went on a hunt for his mother.

He knocked on the door to his mother's room. 'Mama. I am coming in.' He didn't bother waiting for a response.

When he found his mom, he was pale, and seemed feverish. 'Mama! Please tell me you didn't do it again?!'

Minnie rolled over so he was face up. He was sweating like crazy, breathing hard.

'Oh. Panic attack.' Chichi grabbed his mom's hands, and placed his own forehead against his mother's. 'I am here, Minnie. I'm here.' Chichi lowered his voice and spoke calmly. They discovered that his mother's panic attacks came from his trauma with his Alpha, and if Chichi pretended like he was him, it calmed Minnie faster, and without medication.

Minnie eventually calmed his breathing. In his panicked state, he was essentially blind to the world around him, so he relied on voices to calm him. That's why if Chichi changed his tone of voice, it proved quite effective. When he was completely calm, he reached out to grab for the water bottle he always kept on the nightstand.

Chichi whispered, 'Shh. I will grab it.' He grabbed the water, and held Minnie in a semi upright position, giving him little sips. 'Better?'

Minnie pushed the water away then laid back down. 'Ugh. Not again.'

'Mama. It's all right to lean on me. You don't need to be strong all the time.' He ran his fingers through his mother's shoulder length hair and sighed. 'Also, this one is my fault anyway. I shouldn't have said all those things about him to you.'

Minnie didn't respond at first, but then he said, 'No. You holding back how you feel about him is wrong. I don't want you walking on eggshells for my feelings.'

Chichi shook his head. 'Your feelings matter too.' He then paused for a moment before continuing. 'My feelings are harsh like that not because of what he did to me, but what he did to you. A child who sees their mom or dad hurting instinctively hates that which causes pain. And now they are even harsher. I know he gives you panic attacks, and I have to pretend I am him to calm you down. Isn't it kinda shitty that the answer to your pain is the thing that caused it?'

Minnie pulled Chichi in for a hug. 'Damn you. You are too sweet for your own good.' He laughed, then said seriously, 'I hope one day you find your own happiness with someone you love.'

'Mama, I doubt that will ever happen. I'm jaded.'

'Don't let our past jade you, Chichi.' Minnie patted his cheek. 'Look at your Grandparents.'

Chichi shook his head. 'How about we talk about this when you are not in a post panic daze and when your fever goes down.'

'Ok. I will laugh though if you find a partner while you are at university.'

'I genuinely doubt that will happen. You know how bad I am with people. Now sleep it off, Mama.'