2 Chapter 2: Desire To Touch

He unfolds his sleeve and moves his rough hand towards me, I hold the edge of his sleeve and we walk towards the pond, not touching our bodies but filling our desires with our mere existence.

"Do we really love each other?" I asked.

"I believe," he responds, moving his face towards mine, he looks into my eyes.

"What if I'm gone missing someday?"

"I'll go finding you to the deepest core of the Earth"

"Doesn't it sound childish?"

"Love is childish."

"What if you don't find me?"

"I'll not give up until I find you."

"It could be dangerous out there."

"Love is the name of sacrifice and I am glad I have the courage to love someone" he leans closer and my heart almost skips a beat. We are so close but still too far away.

He knows the distance is necessary between us before we marry but just holding on to his sleeve is not enough sometimes.

I gasp as I notice that we have stopped walking and slowly he's reducing the distance between us. I close my eyes and he leans even closer, I could feel the heat radiating through his body.

"But Sarah, do you have the courage to love?" He whispers in my ear.

For a while his question lingered in my head, it was a simple question but with a deep meaning behind. It wasn't just a question but many questions in one.

Do I really love him to the extent of sacrifice?

Do I have the courage to sacrifice?

Am I able to face all the dangers of the world for him?

"Without a doubt" I breath out without further thoughts but never knew that destiny would test us upon our own shared promises.

~~~

June 16th, 1970.

My name's Sarah, Sarah Harris, daughter of a commoner. I am 23 years old and I live in a small town of Heshbaire away from the city chatter. Where we are only surrounded by green heavy trees, wildflowers, water flow and all other beauty you can muster up in your minds.

It's not like we've any fewer facilities, we've our own small world build up here. Common shops, schools, library and other stuff of all necessity are available. People here are simple, lead a decent life and die happily, safe from the world drama but it's not the same for all of us.

My father is a woodcutter or was, he used to sell the wood within the town or sometimes outside like nearby city while my mother... well, she loves her chickens after us 'her children'. Sometimes I even doubt that though.

When Marisa died, oh let me make this clear to you that she was no human but only a hen, no need to get all emotional, she cried for three days mourning over her death and kept repeating 'If only I had taken more care' well, of course, we assured her that it wasn't her fault, the flu got severe that took her away and now she's at a better place than us. It took her some time to sober up but still, she never forgets her, that's the kind of love she has for her chickens.

Talking about my family, the only person left to introduce is my sister, a year older than me. She finished her school and now is working in the farm. People in town, mostly do the same after school, very few of them think about further studying.

We townies have a culture that we truly respect and follow such as we believe on early marriages, prohibition of alcohol and physical contact before marriage etc which are far different from the city culture and that is one of the reasons why people hesitate to live in city, they aren't basically used to watching or least adhering that culture. Our culture is sort of our own bubble of happiness.

We were all a happy family once, we still are but not as happy as we used to be. After my father went sick which is a long story to tell, it all isn't the same now. To make things somewhat right, I'm heading for the city to help my family.

"Hey!" I turn back to the sweet voice of my sister.

"Maria!" I drop the bag aside which I was packing and run to my sister to hug her. She hugs me back, lovingly. The love which is seldom witnessed between us, only occasionally but that is how siblings are, quiet and cunning but still loving.

"So you really are going? Leaving me for sure?" she asks after releasing me.

"Yes, I was so tired of looking at your face all the time. At least there would be no one bossing me around anymore." she laughs at my attempt to tease her.

"Suit yourself, you're getting yourself out of luck." she bites back, damn she is a smart sister, my sister. " And I'll still have my eyes on you where ever you go," she says squinting her eyes, faking a devilish look.

"What? I thought I made sure my trip was Maria-free" she laughs and pinches my cheek and then I notice dirt over her hands which is over my cheek too. She's coming straight from the field when she learned about the letter.

"NOOOO!" I shout, dramatically. She grins evilly, planning to smear her dirty hands all over my face. I back away with horror, knowing her next action "MAMA! MAKE HER STOP!"

Oh! I'm going to miss her dirty pranks on me. Even if they were ugly sometimes. And unforgiving. And quite painful. And uh- never mind...

Mom comes into the room frantically separating both of us.

"Not again you two! I was feeding Marisa!"

Now you'd be thinking 'didn't Marisa just die?' Well, right you are. After her death mama named Marisa's daughter after her mother, that's how my mother's love is for her chickens. Wait, I told you that right? Never mind.

Maria started blaming me that I was the one who started it but you know the one who actually started it.

I'm staring both at my mother and sister, silently cherishing this moment because later there won't be any arguing, blaming or getting scolded but only work. Soon I'm leaving my town, my birthplace where I grew up to be a woman. There will be no friends but strangers no choices but compromise, no freedom but restrictions but all is for good.

I didn't realize when I left my room and started walking towards my parent's room. I entered their room and on my side lay a limp body on the bed, very weak. Tears burned at the back of my eye while looking at the helpless person in front of me who is my father.

I held my father's paralyzed hand into mine and pressed it against my cheek. Tears pooling out of my eyes, making my father's hand wet too. I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it.

"Father, I'm leaving for the city tomorrow and you'll be all right soon. I'm going to earn money and your therapy will start again there will be no problem for the medicines as well" silence creeps the room

I feel someone entering the room behind me when I hear someone whimpering and I know it's my mama while my sister is soothing her. My sister and I are strong, we are trying very hard for our family to not get affected by anyway through the current situation. That's why after he left, I've still been the chirpy one while others know it's hard for me and at times people ask me to not pretend much and to let out my emotions but once I let them out it would be hard to gather them up again.

I squeeze my father's hand once more and look up at his face, his eyes leaking tears and half lips trembling. His brown eyes locking with mine, revealing several emotions. He brings up his other hand and pats my head as if giving me some kind of energy and it really did. I moved to kiss his forehead and smile at him, he passes me back a half smile. His half body may be paralyzed but still, he has the will for his family to protect and love them and I love my father for that.

Who doesn't love their father for what they do or did?

Tomorrow is the day where a new turn in my life may start I may face new things some might be good or some might be bad. The world may be cruel but I've got to be strong for myself, my family and for him.