Lost In The Dark

"Okay, I am nervous, but I can do this.."

A young girl of sixteen stood straight in front of the of the gate of National High School, the dream school of thousands and the reality for Lili Ray, the gentle, assertive and solitary girl from the suburbs of the capital city , a small town, Lochwind.

It was Lili's first day at school. She stared at the large building of the famous institute with eyes which resembled that of a deer, glimmering in the bright rays of the sun. The face that has a sharp nose bridge, thin lips and chubby dimpled cheeks, was a bit pale from her inner anxiety but at the same time radiant from the anticipation of the new. Her delicate fair skin seemed a bit tanned as she had been standing there for quite a long time.

Yes..she was really very nervous. That was because of her continuous failures in adjusting in new surroundings.

You may call it a repeated coincidence or a proven law, but Lili was never good at new surroundings. The ordeal started since she started going to school. She didn't fit in her play school, wailed everyday, pissed off everybody in there and returned home with a grin, not because she was satisfied for creating such a trouble at the playschool but because she was returning home, back to her mother.

Yes, she is deeply attached to her mother, you would say it is a case for everybody in the earth, but her attachment is different. She doesn't have a sibling, so naturally her mother is her elder sister, teacher, guide, punching bag and best friend. So they share secrets, fight for each other and even argue on petty issues. These make the mother- daughter duo deeply entwined in an inseperable bond.

Then came the pre- primary.

The classes changed, but her distress remained the same. She had just one friend, whom she called her best friend- Genea Jones

But later Lili changed the city and returned to her hometown and lost contact with her.

The primary and secondary were just the same. Along with them came hundreds and thousands of more troubles for her. She was often outcasted, not talked and left all alone by her own self.

There were days when she cried, she quarrelled or just sat quietly at a corner, away from everybody, silently wanting somebody to notice this desolate little girl of ten years, and give her company.

It would be lying if is said that never did her dream come true, but such times were so less that those could be counted in fingers.

All throughout the years of turmoil, her mother stood beside her like the support to a climber and protected her. She lent a patient ear to her daughter's rambles and consoled her whenever she was broken.

Gradually, the ill manners of her co learners and Lili's loneliness became an eternal part of her life and she found out ways to fight them. She began to find peace in her very own company, secured in her cocoon which was made up of books and songs. She has a very sweet voice which helped her express her feelings through the songs she used to sing and the melody soothed her heart and filled her loneliness.

But even though she could put up with her helplessness, deep down, she too wanted to have friends who would care for her, share her thoughts, tolerate her ramblings and mood swings and love her.

Perhaps this deep wanting in her has always manifested itself in the form of an anxiety which stealthily creeps into her heart whenever she would start somewhere new, afresh.

-

So this is.. large

Lili kept on going circles around the enormous campus, or rather she felt so if not she was going round the same place, but failed to to find her classroom. Lili clutced her backpack to perhaps support them to relieve her aching bag, when she felt she had found someone who could help her.

That man over there, he looks like a staff over here. He can surely help me to find my class.

Ecstatic, she rushed to the man.

"Hey, wait! WATCH OUT!"

"Ahhhh.."