1 Chapter 1: New Uniform, Same Shit

The campus was sickeningly bright and I began to anxiously tug on my messy hair as I stepped into my 'shared' dorm room, immediately seeing a girl on her bed. She was about my age but slightly taller. I was in awe of her beautiful, dark brown skin and midnight, almost poodle-like hair that was up in two braided space buns. She was wearing a crop top and jeans shorts, along with purple cat-eyed glasses and hightops. The only thing relatively dorky about her was her braces, which were pale pink and purple. I decided to take a leap and at least try to make a 'girlfriend' like my mom had asked. Even thinking of the word made me shudder in disgust.

"What's your name?" She looked up with a big smile and responded quickly,

"My name is Nova and you must be Janet. Or are you Jackie? I like your t-shirt! The Skullers, right? My brother loves that band."

Her sudden chattiness had startled me and I became self-conscious. Because we were twins, my sister and I both had fiery ginger hair that almost always stood on end, hazel eyes, and pale skin dotted with freckles however, that was where the similarities stop. I kept my hair in messy braids and wore t-shirts, sweatpants, and battered sneakers. Skirts often made me feel wrong, like they were meant for someone other than me. Like a ghost inhabiting the shell of my body. My sister slicked back her hair into a bun and wore form-fitting dresses (not that she had much of a form) and high heels. She was mom's perfect little girl. Sure she was smart but all mom cared about was that she did everything she was told without fail. I wasn't used to being complimented, especially about my appearance, so I just said thanks and sat on my bed.

My cheeks warmed and i turned away so Nova couldn't see me. Janet walked in wearing a pink sleek dress along with black flats . . . here we go again. Every time we go to a new school she goes around and sniffs out one of the popular kids. I didn't get why people were so hung up on the ranking systems high school had. She asked Nova about her 'ensemble' and within the hour they were in a full-on conversation about what the latest trends were and how they wish they could get the latest jeans from Fab Girl Monthly.

What seemed like hours later I woke up and Nova was standing right above me. I was about to ask what time I fell asleep when she shoved an old doll into my face. The doll was made of porcelain and had a fair complexion with rosy cheeks and sunshine blonde hair. I could tell it was old from the smell, at least twenty years old, yet it looked brand new. She wore a blue old-fashioned dress with a white blouse underneath, stockings, black Mary Janes, and a single bow on her head. She was eerily lifelike.

"Surprise! I got you an early gift for your birthday!

I got out of bed and got dressed, Nova and Janet already being ready for the day. I finally asked, "Nova.... Where did you get that?"

"I got it from Reese. He said it was his sister's. Says it's got history or whatever". I turned around.

"Really? What's his last name?" the uniform was itchy and stiff but it was mandatory. At least it wasn't one of the stuffy blouses our mom had stuck us in for our 80s themed family photo.

"Dunno, I think it was Cornelius. Why?" I hummed softly.

"That's odd. my sister and I's last name is Crawford, he would've been on the list of students in our group. I didn't see a Reese though, it would've stuck out with that old ass name." I looked at the doll a bit longer before shoving it under my bed along with some comics I managed to smuggle in.

I got to my first-period class, which was science. Most of it I didn't listen to and just doodled. Meiosis, mitosis, what's the difference really? The teacher called on me in a stern tone as I whipped my head around. I jumped slightly in my seat when I saw him standing two feet away from my desk

"Jaqueline Crawford, I asked you to answer the question on the board several times. Do I need to send you to the principal's on the first day?" he questioned sternly. I quickly snapped out of my daydream and stammered,

"No- no sir I didn't mean to!" Wow. The first day and a teacher already hates me…. That's a new record!

After my classes (and getting reprimanded two more times) I went back to my dorm to take a shower. It's rare that I ever freshen up when I already smell fine, but I wanted to make a good impression on the basketball team. The court was packed with girls wanting to join. I began feeling queasy and slipped away to go to the restroom. It seemed like everything made me feel horrible nowadays.

"Almost fifteen and can't deal with large crowds still, what kind of freak am I…" I curled up on the floor and sobbed as my nails dug into my knees.

It took an hour before the cries that made it hard to breathe finally left. By that time the gym teacher had finished tryouts and I stood alone in the gym until finally trudging back to my dorm.