1 1. The Morning

The feeling of fingers caressing my hair in between combing it just brought out an exquisite emotion that I , personally , cannot describe in words.

"Are you okay ?" She asked , the ever-soft smile still being present on her lips , looking at me through the mirror.

"Yes , I am fine." I wiped the moisture in my eyes and answered.

"Oh darling !" She looked down down at my hair and braided it , still having that smile on her face.

She was a beauty ..... I would describe her beauty as heavenly .....

She radiated such an elegant aura with her beauty and a kind aura with her personality . I believe that being near her will calm any person just like she calms me . For me , no words of her is needed as long as she stands right beside me and smiles. She is my greatest comfort and she knows it.

She finished braiding my hair , came infront of me and squatted down . Her movements were like fluid . Oh! How I wish mine too were just like hers. But I did get her hair and eyes though. Those long beautiful porcelain white soft curls . I treasured them. It felt like she has given me a part of her to take care of and I did just that. I took care of it .

And her obsidian eyes. Her eyes will absorb any colour that fell on it. Those colours will be forever lost in them. If those eyes were to be described , some may think they look creepy but I can assure you that they never did look creepy and never will. A person will get lost in those deep eyes while searching for it's bottom. The more you look at them , the more you wanna reach the bottom of those deep lake like eyes and the more you get lost in them. They have a shine in them . It is like trying to reach the speck of light at the end of a very dark canal. You will only move towards that light and not away from it .

That's the feeling I get from her eyes. I wonder what people think about my eyes though. I did get them from her but I am nowhere near her beauty.

"You know you can cry , right?" I heard her voice , taking me out of my deep trance.

"Yeah, I do."

She pulled me to her chest and hugged me tight.

I brokedown . I pushed my head in her chest, hugged her and cried like a baby.

I am angry at myself for crying while I should be happy that I am with her and that triggered me to cry even more. I always cried if I am over-angered.

"Everything's gonna be alright , sweetie ." She was patting my head and chanting words of comfort.

After a while, I calmed down and my sibs turned to sniffles. I raised my head and looked at her .

"There , there. It's alright. My baby." She tugged my platinum white locks behind my hair.

"I am sorry." I sniffled .

"Well, you will upset me if you apologize now." She smiled . I mirrored her smile through soggy eyelashes.

"Now, what did I tell you last time ?"

"Crying is normal. Letting your emotions out is normal. I have to stop myself from holding everything in."

"Yes, darling. You know you have to stay strong . You cannot allow others to hurt you . Right ?"

I looked down and nodded. Staying strong was never easy for me and I dont know if it will ever be.

"I will look forward to the day when you won't look down when I aak you to stay strong." She smiled and hugged me again .

"You can take as much time as you need. You have to experience every ups and downs that come to you so that you will come back stronger." Her said , her smile never fading away.

I pulled away from her and looked right into her eyes and said , "I will and you will be proud of me ."

Her smile brightened even more , if it was even possible, " I , already , am very proud of you. You have been so amazing and kind . You have made me proud every time you hold someone else's hand to lift them up and didn't turn away from anyone."

I smiled up at her .

She stood up and I followed . Her hands rested on my arms.

Then her face turned serious. Her smile turned serious.

I am confused . Wait . What's happening ??

Oh no! I know what this turn is.

"I am always there for you. I will always back you up and support you but you have to learn certain things on your own." She said with her serious smile. "Never forget that."

I gripped her hands tightly and started to frantically look around.

"This was it." I thought .

I looked at her face.

She was still smiling . I was not ready to let go of her . I jumped on her but two hands grabbed me from behind , one around my stomach and the other pinning my hands together and yanked me away from her.

I kicked and screamed even though I knew I cannot get out of that hold.

Her face was full of horror and mine was too.

No matter how many times I experienced it , the horror of me being separated from her always traumatized me.

I was being dragged far and far from her . She first turned to the size of an ant and then she was out of my sight .

Tears flowed like river. I stopped fighting and surrendered to the person holding me.

I knew he was going to let go of me. He always did.

Surely , after she faded away , my abductor let go of his hold on me . After a moment I turned to face him .

He took steps towards me and in the next instance , he was right infront of me.

I didn't move .

He bend forward and reached my eye level.

He left imprint of his lips on my forehead lightly. It always left like a feather touching me .

I looked up and was met by another pair of beautiful obsidian eyes . They were just like hers. Deep and mesmerizing.

But the face I saw was a new one.

It everytime was .

She always came to me with the same face but he didn't .

He always had a new face .

The only thing that I felt was familiar was his eyes.

I always got lost in them . Whenever he was infront of me , I felt complete.

And I hated that .

He just separated me from her but I just cannot hate him.

Being near him comforted me too.

If only I could measure the hatred and anger I had towards myself for feeling that way.

He smiled at me . That gorgeous smile. I wished I could see that smile again and I hated that too.

He caressed my cheek and the my eyelids dropped and the whole world turned black.

——————

I woke up with tears flowing out of my eyes.

I quickly wiped them and looked at the clock on my bed stand . I sat up with my knees bend and my head slumped on my hands. The blankets dropped from my body .

"Mother !"

That was all it took me to start sobbing again.