5 LSFAH

"So, are you gonna talk to him?" Natalie suddenly pops up behind my back as I put a few notebooks into my locker.

"Sheesh, you're awfully quiet. I don't know, I haven't seen him around yet." I close my locker door and enter the bathroom nearby.

"Well if we're being honest here, I think you should. You said you've been single for a long while now, right? This is an opportunity for you to meet someone and go out on a date." She bumps my shoulder and winks at me.

"Natalie, I appreciate you trying to work up my courage and all, but I've only been here for four days now. It's a little too early to start talking to people. At least to me, people should get a look at me and develop interest before I start getting myself into a relationship. Plus, I'm not ready. Also, I've never had a relationship with someone in school- I always used to be in online relationships. Yes, I know, online dating isn't a good thing, I realized that and that's why I'm single." I say as I study my outfit and fix my hair.

"I get where you're coming from. I almost forgot that you don't even know his name yet," She chuckles as she takes a step back. "But being new doesn't mean you shouldn't try new things. I know I don't really have a say in this but I'm only trying to help you make a decision. I understand that you're not ready and you're not used to being somewhere new, but it might be the best thing for you, Alexis, you never know."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Maybe she's right, maybe I need to try new things and get out of my head. I've gone through so much in my life that I was left with despair, and now I feel as if I should wait to take chances when I shouldn't. People should know who I am.

*Snap* *Snap* *Snap*

"Hey- I'm still here. Are we leaving the bathroom or do you need some time to rejuvenate?" She asks.

"Oh- yeah, sorry. I was just thinking" I chuckle.

As we step outside the door I smash into someone, sending their papers flying and scattering onto the floor.

"Shit! I'm so sorry!" I'm too embarrassed to even scurry over to help them but I know I should.

"You're fine, it's my bad I was walking so close to the door" He laughs.

"Hey, that's the blondie" Natalie pokes me as I watch him get back on his feet.

His eyes lock with mine as he turns his head to look at us. Butterflies start swarming the inside of my stomach and I am so lost in his eyes that I begin to forget where I'm standing. He starts walking towards me and I feel like I'm going to explode with excitement. Why am I feeling this way? I don't even know this guy yet he's making me fall head over heels for his luscious blue eyes, messy but somehow perfect blonde hair, and charming facial features.

"Hey, it's you- I was afraid I wasn't gonna see you again, but here you are" The way his smile appeared on his face made me blush uncontrollably and I can't even process what I should say to him.

"Uh, h-hi" I manage to utter.

"Just a hi? You're not gonna walk with me to get to know me or anything?" He almost sounded desperate, and for this reason, I refused to.

"No thanks, I should be getting to my class right now, sorry. Maybe later?" I finally work up the nerve to say to him.

"I won't be here later, but maybe we can do that tomorrow if you want."

"It depends, what if I'm not here tomorrow?" I sneer at him.

"Ooh, playing hard to get? I like that."

"Don't push it" I stare at him dead in the eyes and smirk.

-------------------

"I hope you realize that you two were literally flirting while I was standing right next to you" Natalie points out as I take in a bite of gooey-looking macaroni.

"We weren't flirting- but you do realize you could've left the scene instead of sticking around and listening to us babbling, right?" I reply

"Good point, but if I were to leave you would probably panic about the fact that you wouldn't have anyone to walk with or talk to" She takes a sip of her chocolate milk.

I notice the blonde guy in line, waiting to grab his lunch.

"I just remembered- The blonde guy never told me his name, let alone the fact that I didn't ask him what it was," I say.

I was waiting for Natalie to reply but as I turned my back toward her, she was gone. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, and as I reopened them, she reappeared.

"Why are you looking at me like that- I answered your question- Did you not hear me?" She asks.

"Actually, no...I didn't even see you either. Like for one second, I saw you, turned away to look at blondie, and when I turned back you weren't here- Like you left for a quick second and teleported back after I made sure I wasn't hallucinating, but I was" I start feeling lightheaded out of nowhere and lose my focus.

"Hey- Alexis? Hellooooo? You alright over there?" Her voice is barely audible as I try to regain my vision.

I have absolutely no idea what is going on...It started with a nightmare, now I'm losing consciousness during the day- My goodness, soon enough something else is bound to happen, and it isn't going to be good.

Finally, my attention is drawn back and I can see properly.

"Hey Alexis, are you alright? You seem kind of off lately- is there something going on? Do you need to be taken to the clinic again?" She reaches for my hand, squeezing it.

I shake off the odd, drowsy feeling and answer her; "Yeah yeah, I'm fine I just- I believe I've been losing sleep lately and is causing me to feel awfully dizzy and out of control. Sometimes I'll just start feeling lightheaded, and everything looks a little wobbly, it's just weird." I scratch the back of my head and run my fingers through the strands of my hair.

"Well I'm gonna head out, I need to go to the library and use a computer- I hope you feel better" She frowns.

Natalie walks away and along comes blondie.

"What a coincidence, I didn't think we would have lunch together," He says jokingly.

I try not to get too excited by his presence this time and try to act "normal". Except that "normal" I didn't plan out too well.

"Hello again. It's quite weird that I met you on my first day here- You know when you offered me that ride?"

"Wait, you're new here? Where'd you come from?" He asks.

"Yes, and I came from Oklahoma," I answer, resting my head on my hand.

To my surprise, he had a look of shock on his face.

"That's where I used to live. Do you mind me asking what school you went to?"

Yes! I knew it! I knew he used to go to my school-

"Huh?" He says, raising an eyebrow.

"Holy fuck, did I say that out loud?!" I facepalm myself, embarrassed.

"Yes- Yes you did. Why are you so surprised that I used to go to your school?"

"Oh, no reason. I just told Natalie the other day that you look really familiar cause I swore you went to my old school." I hide my face with my hands.

"That's kind of strange because I never saw you in school." His eyes are drawn toward my lips and I can't help but point it out.

"Um- Sorry but, are my lips that fascinating for you to keep staring at them? I think I see drool dripping from your mouth, you might want to wipe it off your face." I tease.

"Oh really? That's funny cause I was actually wanting to kiss you so badly right now"

This set me off completely, but I had my own boundaries so I kept my limit of anger. I cringed, sat all the way back in my seat and scowled at him. His reaction meant that he knew what he said was wrong.

"I'm- I'm just gonna go." He lifted his bag up off the floor and hurried away.

-------------------------

"I was disgusted yet amazed" I declare.

"What did he say to you?" Natalie asks, taking her phone out of the front pocket of her bookbag.

"Well it kinda bothered me but he was staring at my lips and I couldn't help but point it out and tease him by saying there was drool dripping from his mouth and he just blurted out that he was wanting to kiss me so badly- Like how can a guy have so much confidence to say something like that?" I cross my arms and exhale deeply.

"Quick question- Were you mad about the fact that he wanted to kiss you or were you mad about the fact that you were mildly excited that he wanted to kiss you but couldn't because you don't know each other?"

I turn my head away and grin, trying not to smile. "Well, it's kinda both."

"And let me guess, you still never got his name?" She assumes.

I don't want to answer her question because it's so true I feel guilty for wasting my time talking to him without asking questions. Instead, I nod my head in response.

As the bus stops at the front of my house, Natalie looks up and examines one of the second-floor windows.

"I don't want to insult your family, but whoever picked this house was really stupid. Why? Because someone died in this house 2 years ago and there's been reports about people having a lot of night terrors and seeing some shadow person in there. Not trying to make you paranoid or anything but thought I should let you know." She looks away swiftly.

"That explains the nightmare I had," I say under my breath.

"What?" Natalie overheard me.

"Nothing- don't worry about it."

--------------------------------------

"Alexis, what exactly happened to you yesterday? I know your friend and Mrs. Schafer already told us but I feel like there's more to it than just that." My mother sat at my side as I daze into the Television screen.

"I honestly don't know, mom. Ever since we moved into this house I've just been having problems with sleep and staying awake during the day. More specifically I keep getting dragged away from my consciousness and almost pass out like I get lightheaded and can barely hear anything." I explain.

She studies my facial expression and wraps her arm around my shoulder. "I know me and you haven't gotten along with each other ever since your father passed away, but there are times you can come talk to me about certain things, Alexis. Yes, I am short-tempered and I lose my cool with you a lot, and you do the same with me, but I'm still your mother. Just because we no longer have a good bond doesn't mean I don't care about your feelings. I know you didn't want to move here, do you think I did? Absolutely not, but living in the same town where you repeatedly experienced things you shouldn't have, it drove me to the point I couldn't let it happen anymore. I know it was wrong on my end, that I pulled you away from things that you cherished the most, but this is a new start for you to be happier. You don't have to trust me on this, but I believe we'll have a better life here. We don't have to be happy with each other, but I only want you to be happy, and I know that living here is a chance to relive your life happily, even without your father- I know how much he meant to you, Alexis."

My mother's words touched the bottom of my heart and I want to believe her so badly, but there's a single, small part of me that can't. What she said was true, that living here is a new start for me to be happier and less fearful, but how can I possibly be happy knowing the fact that my father will never reappear and hug his arms around me ever again? Of all people that I knew, my father was the one, and the only one who made me feel loved endlessly. Tears start to fill my eyes as I wrap my arms around my mother and imagine she was my father, telling me that everything will be okay.