8 LSAFH

I feel coldness touching the center of my forehead, and then traces around my entire face. I open my eyes and Easton is standing behind me while Natalie is kneeling in front of the couch dragging an ice cube around my face.

"Easton- What are you doing here?" I lift my head from the arm of the sofa.

"Um... No reason." He scratches the back of his head.

I roll my eyes and plant my hand over my face, groaning, "Yeah, right."

I get a flashback of the conversation my mother was having with those people and for a second I forget how to breathe, losing focus with my surroundings. For a moment I'm about to bawl my eyes out but stop myself as I feel a tear trickling down my left cheek.

"You okay Alexis?" Easton waves his hand in front of my face as I stare into blank space.

I snap back into reality and blink my eyes an unnecessary amount of times. "Yeah yeah I'm okay- I just...I'm fine." I wipe my face with my shirt.

"Are you sure? You look like you're crying." He sits down on the arm of the sofa.

"Do you really want to know what's going on inside my head?" I turn towards his face, staring blankly into his ocean blue eyes through his glasses.

"I mean yes, kind of. You've been so different lately, Alexis, it's starting to worry me- And Natalie, of course." He looks away for a moment before drawing his attention back to me.

I hesitate before I begin explaining. "Every time I feel like I'm going to blackout, everything around me just seems to fade away. Like that one day in the hall when I was freaking out over nothing... While you were talking about your parents and stuff, I was getting glimpses of past trauma and somehow you just disappeared, but I still heard you talking to me. And I tried to run into the bathroom to calm down and get myself back together but the door wouldn't open for some reason and I..." I stop talking, leaving Natalie and Easton confused.

"And what?" Natalie raises an eyebrow.

I sigh and continue speaking, "If I tell you guys what happened when I was younger, can you not smother me with affection? It makes me uncomfortable, and I've never told anyone what's happened to me."

They both nod.

"Okay- This happened when I was seven. One night my mom and dad were having this huge argument, and my mom made him upset...He started crying and went out for a drive to cool down because that's just what he did. But I was in my bedroom, drawing when I heard cars crashing in front of our house. It was my dad and another car. Apparently, some woman was drunk driving and sped into my dad's car, sending it flying down the street, and then he just lied in there while it started burning- The ambulance and firetrucks didn't show up until it was too late and that was that. After that happened, my mom directed her sorrow and anger towards me, neglected me, and never asked me if I was okay. I blame her for the death of my father and I apologize if that's harsh but he wouldn't have died if she didn't start yelling and insulting him. He wouldn't have left that night, he would still be alive if it weren't for her." Tears begin to flood my face as I cover it with my hands.

Natalie places her hand over my back and starts rubbing it in a circular motion. I push it off and wipe away my tears. "I told you not to smother me."

She sighs. "Alexis, I understand why you don't want us to smother you, but you're obviously in a state where you need emotional support because you didn't receive any of that. Even if you don't want it, it's a better way to grieve. You need us right now, don't push us away just because your mom never gave you what you wanted, we can see the pain written all over your face. We're trying to help you right now."

"I know- I'm sorry. I just feel like since I've hidden everything for so long it drives me insane. I've always felt like if I told anyone about what happened they wouldn't actually care and just pretend it's important to be there for me when it actually is."

"Don't you have any siblings to talk to about this?" Easton asks.

I nod my head and sniffle. "No. I mean I did at one point, but he died because his lungs collapsed, he was only 3." More tears begin streaming down my blushed cheeks.

Natalie wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. "Oh my- Alexis I am so sorry."

"And the first night here, I relived the entire moment my father died. These things; flashbacks, panic attacks, and fear of impending doom- Have never happened to me until I and my mom moved here. I don't understand it at all, it's like there's a piece I'm missing that's trying to get my attention." I wipe my tears away as Natalie removes her arms from me.

Natalie and Easton are silent as I say this, then look at each other, and I am utterly concerned.

"What? Is there something I should know?"

They both look away from each other and Natalie draws her attention toward me, "It's not our part to tell you anything. We're leaving it to your mom to explain to you."

Explain what? Does this have anything to do with what she and those people were talking about?

"Those people? What are you talking about?" Easton squints at me.

"I said that out loud? Wow- Okay... Well, let me elaborate," I continue, "when I blacked out earlier, I saw my mom with two other people- a man, and a woman. They were in suits sitting at a table, and I heard the guy asking my mom if she told me something yet, and I don't know what he was talking about. But then my mom answered him and said something along the lines of, 'I should've told her after it happened, but she was young, and she wouldn't understand', and then the woman said to my mother before I woke up, that 'she killed him, intentionally' and that's when they just disappeared. I didn't hear anything else."

A look of shock came over Easton's face and I am left dumbfounded. "Hey Alexis, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asks as he makes his way into the kitchen.

"Sure," I reply.

He shoos Natalie away with his hand as if he were swatting a fly away.

"Those people that were talking to your mom are my parents." He leans into my ear, whispering.

For a moment I am shocked, and then I turn into a fiery pit of rage and punch the marble kitchen counter. I remember what Easton told me that day I panicked, and I am more upset than ever about the mere fact that everything that happened was a lie.

"That woman wasn't drunk, she somehow knew my father and MURDERED him for whatever the fuck kind of reason, I bet she's a fucking psycho, I want to kill her right now! My mom lied to me about everything!" I yell and storm up the stairs into my bedroom. I hear Easton chasing after me.

"Alexis she didn't lie to you, she only wanted to protect-" before he could finish I slam the door in front of his face. "Open the door, Alexis. Sitting in there and crying isn't going to help solve your problems, let me in so I can talk to you." I hear him sigh.

"It's not even locked," I mutter.

I hear the door open as I lie on my carpet with my arms pulled up to my legs.

"Alexis, get off the floor. You don't need to act like this- it's not necessary."

"I know. But I'm really pissed right now. Doesn't it sound insane to you? That for nine years you never knew the truth because your parent wanted to somehow protect you when lying to you just makes it worse? I need closure from this- I mean for so long I thought he just died because some woman was being a dipshit, got drunk, and killed him without intentions." I sit up against the frame of my bed while wiping my tears away.

Easton takes a seat next to me. "Listen, they don't know how the bitch even knew your dad. They haven't started working on this case until 4 years after the whole thing happened. Your mom was the one picking up clues and DNA tests- I mean, they didn't even send police to the woman's house yet because the court doesn't believe she's guilty. Once your mom starts bringing in evidence of her being guilty, they're gonna start digging deeper into it and find out what happened between her and your dad."

"Well, I hope. And if I ever meet that woman, I will beat the fuck out of her. I don't care what my father did to cause her to murder him- She killed the most important person in my life and she's going to pay for the damage she did to me and my mom." I stare angrily out of the window.

But wait...None of this makes sense... Easton said his parents live in Oklahoma, if they live there then how are they and my mom having a meeting together? There's no way they would take a flight all the way down here just to discuss an investigation with her. And the more I think about it- I've seen pictures in our house up in Oklahoma of my mom standing in this house... She and two other people were in the photo, they looked like Easton's parents. This doesn't add up to anything.

"Are you sure your parents live in Oklahoma or am I just dumb?" I ask while drawing my attention back toward him.

"What do you mean?"

"In Oklahoma my mom had a picture hung up in the living room above the sofa. My mom and your parents were standing in this house together. And I know it was this house because of the background- I could see the kitchen and back doors plus the basement door. Is there more that I need to know? Are you keeping secrets from me now?" I inquire while dazing at him.

"Okay...Yeah, I lied to you as well. But would you really want to know the truth right now? You just found out your father was murdered, this is a lot to take in. I don't want to worsen it by telling you everything. I can talk about it tomorrow, okay?" He takes my left hand and places it in his own, gripping it tightly and staring at me as if he knows everything about me.

----------------

The night ended with Easton and Natalie smothering me and hugging me tightly before they left. I was left here alone, with nothing but my thoughts...Trying to wrap around the mystery about the murder of my father, which happened to be caused by some woman who apparently knew him in the past and wanted to seek revenge on him, but at what cost? Killing someone doesn't erase the pain you feel, it doesn't kill your nostalgia- It only adds memories that haunt you in the future. It reminds you that you made a mistake and can't go back to fix it. Unless you're a psychopath, killing somebody who hurt you in the past won't make you happy.

The unpleasant fact that there is more for me to know is causing my curiosity to increase dramatically, and I'm now desperate to figure this out. This is my path to finding hope, the hope for my closure. To cut ties with my past, present, and future. After all, I finally have the key, and that key is Easton. Whatever I may find out, I believe it will not only change my life once again, it will create my future.

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