1 My Lonely Life
^ONE^
Dark sky,single way,brown hair,sweater, snowing,building with light, traffic light in front of me, only me Maria Ken,
🍁🍁🍁without anyone.🍁🍁🍁
It feel like only me in this world. Sometimes I asked myself..'Do I deserve to live like others?' Hatred, Disadvantages, Disgrace, Depression and Being Ignored has taken full control my life..Am I able to cope with it? I don't think so. I almost killed myself cause of depression that has taken over me.
Now, I thought about changing and opening my new life book. In my mind, a bully is someone who just wants the attention of others. With that, I am writing this verse to strengthen my new spirit.
Distracted by others,
In this world, only me,
Full of pressure,
I hate it and myself,
But in this world,
Me,begin and ending,
From 0 age until now,
Me,die in this world too,
No happiness No love,
There's only one word,
For me,meaningless,
Today,
Open new book
My new spirit
I'm change
To be, meaningful
I walked towards home and wondered if I could be my new self. I am a humble person and it is difficult to change because I am a coward. On my way, I heard the sound of a cat. The sound of the cat sounded sad and I went towards the sound of the cat. The cat looked lonely without a guardian or mother. Why the fate of a cat can live the silence of its life like me. It is not fair to us as living beings in this world. It is disrespectful and never loved by someone we need.Creatures like cats need love because one day it will teach us how important it is for us to love something or someone we need to love. It is meaningless for anyone if there is no love. I took the cat home with me and for the first time I smiled at the cute cat's behavior.
In this few days of my life,In my place of learning, harsh words are often heard. Many mouths despised me with their verses. Hate, Disadvantage and not being cared for by others or teachers. I wonder if I made a mistake with them. Why are they behaving like this to me. What is wrong with me against them. I know that I can't myself and my life easily becuase easily distracted by them. I want my own happiness like the others.
Today I go to school with sadness because I know that while at school I will be meaningless and lonely person all the time. On my way to class, someone grabbed my bag and I did not know who made it. Then, I was roughly pushed to the floor causing my knees to bleed.I do not know why they did that. Will they bully me? What do I need to do? I must be strong because I have been determined to change my way of life. One of them slapped my face hard then my spring started to flow to my cheek without me realizing it.
"STOP" I heard someone shouting at us. My head was bowing down and looking up when I heard the scream. Why is he shouting at us? I suspect. I have never seen him look like this before in my school. Maybe he is a new student at this school. He ran quickly towards us and pushed the bully hard until she fell.
"What are you trying to do?" he screamed at her.He pulled my hand away and left the place then he left without saying anything but I want to thanks him for helping me. I hope we will meet soon. He look so kind and humble like me, I think we can be friend but...Am I deserve to have a friends?
A quiet journey gives me a habit in life. My ability to endure the pain and anguish that is locked in my heart is very sad. Go shopping alone without a friend carrying a heavy basket without infinite strength, seeing others rejoice with loved ones without sorrow. I am here alone without family and happiness
Drinking a cold drink with a fancy glass in a fancy restaurant on a snowy night also falls. Coldness is felt in me who has no feelings anymore. Ignored by seeing other people spend time with love and love but I here only have lies without love. Something luxurious can be bought with money but love and feelings cannot. Feeling worthless for someone like me
Looking out the window saw the atmosphere on a moonlit night accompanied by twinkling stars in the dark sky. I was under the sky just riding on the feeling of happiness with a sweet smile on my lips and then I heard the doorbell ringing in my ears which made me look in that direction.
A man who looks perfect and smart as I have ever seen entering a restaurant with a fresh look on his face like someone who lives a perfect life. Jealousy stabbed me suddenly. He was the guy who helped me when I was in danger at school. The heart said 'go thank him' but I was the one who guarded me not to give any response to the words of the heart. Fear filled my body and soul.
Pack all my stuff and pay for my drinks. Leaving the restaurant was like changing my mood from lively to gloomy.
Looking up at the sky again to feel the joy but the feeling faded from before. Why did this happen to me? .. walking under a tall tree, my path was illuminated by the moon and stars, I saw a long bench nearby and sat on it. The long bench can accommodate three people but now I am the only one sitting here on a bench under a tree near a lonely road without anyone.
🍂🍂Has my life been destined like this?🍂🍂
Calm down by leaning on the bench while listening to a song using earphones. Closing the eyes clears the mind, thinking about the future I have to go through. Thinking about when I would be someone other than who I am now. My cheeks started to get wet due to the tears that were flooding non-stop. It hurts for all of it.
Opening my eyes slowly, I saw the face of the man in front of me while glued. He looked at me with an empty ripple. The awkward feeling begins to fill the atmosphere here. Isn't he the man who helped me? She looks very much like him. Stop the awkwardness by chatting.
Me: Hi..My name is Maria Ken. You ??
Him: Oh..Hi. I'm Alex Carr. Nice to meet
Me: Why did you come here? It's quiet here
Him: I'm just passing by here. Actually, why are you alone in this lonely place?
Me:Being alone has become my habit so it doesn't matter.
Him: You mean?
Me: I have been alone since I was 5 years old. My life is filled with hatred, without love and always ignored. Now, no one is by my side. I am like a meaningless person to live. I have no family and no friends. I only live with my cat that I took care of two days ago. Cats are as lucky as me, it is not fair to the cat. Sometimes, I think I deserve to have a friend of my own?
Him: I am sorry. I have no intention of hurting you. But do you know? I am willing to be your friend because you deserve to have someone who supports you. So I am ready to be your supporter as my best friend.
Me: Really? This is the first time someone wants to be my friend. I feel happy now. But I want to ask you something. Can I?
Him: Just asking. We are already friends so there is no need to be shy to share or ask anything
Me: Yesterday, you helped me from being bullied near my school. Did you go to school there? Because I never saw you involved
Him: Ohh like that..No, I went to school somewhere else..last day I went there to visit my cousin only then I saw you in trouble. So, I intend to help and now we meet again as friends and also you are not alone or feel lonely because I will always be by your side
Me:Thank you..hmm Alex. I have to go now. It's late at night. So, I have to go home and this is my number youcan call or text me when you are free. Bye and thanks for being my friend.
Him: Okayyy..no problem. I am sincerely friends with you and this is my number. Asak can also call or text me when you are free later. Bye have a good night.
Me: You too.
Going home with a happy feeling and a smile began to engrave on my lips and even the moon and stars helped me illuminate my path.
Do not think that living with friends is the happiest life because it can support each other. My book of life starts from here with this verse
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
WE meet, WE talk,
With each other,
Today,
We, Begin to be friend,
With you and me, In friendship life,
To be best friend,
Hope until forever
And, Ever
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
