4 Alone with my thoughts

Then my mental state worsened and my depression that I once had under control cane back full force. It seems like whenever anything good happens in my life it is quickly followed by a blindside. I was at the point where I couldn't even get out of bed much less try to leave the house to socialize and try to make new connections. All that I had left we're my thoughts. Therapy hurt every time I went and often made me feel worse than when I went it. Confronting my emotions and issues was more work than I expected. Yet despite numerous appointments I could never start to forgive myself for the words I didn't even remember saying to cause my friend to cut off all ties with me. I wasn't making much progress because if I was that horrible and I couldn't remember it then I didn't think that I deserved anything more than living my live swallowed up by my depression.