therealSkywolf202
ok first of all-- WOW, this book is definitely a page turner. I really love the way this book gave off a mysterious vibe right off the bat! I also love the way you described their friendship; you were not really descriptive but keeping it simple gave more feeling and weight as to how much close they are. I really liked it. Keep up the good work!
I will be honest and I am here to make improvements for your novel. Some dialogues has no name on who said it....and her action or feelings while saying it. It was hard at first when you write about the tenses. It was inconsistent and you need to choose one. Present tenses were more alluring to hear and past tenses were more used by matured writers. It was on you what to choose. And for more further improvements, please read more novels of expert writers of the same genre and learn from them. How to write dialogues, synopsis and everything. Please do the same to my book Waking Up In Undead World. See you later!
This is my initial review to show my support for the author until the story is completed. Keep up the great work, and may you see the rightful end with a renewed soul and purpose in life. You rock! I'm hoping you could also help me with my beloved work, WAR GROUNDS (all caps please. The original version got bugged) by dropping an initial review. Cheers!
Simple and sweet. You could use some more mysterious and suspenseful scenarios but seeing that it's just chapter 6 so far, it's to be expected that it's just getting there. Well-balanced story progression and build-up. Only thing to point out is your tense usage, sometimes it gets a little inconsistent. But that's just a minor issue since us authors tend to do that as well. All in all, great job. Continue on writing ^0^
Creepy, mysterious and highly addictive. The book grabs the reader's attention right from the first chapter as two school girls walk home from school, but only one of them makes it, the other turning up dead. And so begins the mystery as many similar deaths have occurred in the protagonist's town before. A great beginning, and now the protagonist has started seeing dead people. This one will give you the creeps in the best possible way!
The story manages to be engaging and fun to follow. The interactions between its characters can be stirring sometimes, though some might find them cheesy. The story happens too fast. By the first chapter, we already have the conflict of the story presented to us, without having the opportunity of getting to know the characters. This is a problem if you want your readers to get to care about them. The plot slowly starts to compensate for this but it is definitely a weak point. You also need to work with your grammar. There are some misspellings and sometimes you mix grammatical tenses. Nothing that makes the story a chore to read but you definitely need to work on this. Otherwise, the plot never manages to fall down and advances in a good direction. Keep working on it.