Chapter 1

1

I loved surprises. I loved giving them, too. It was why I’d decided to buy one of the most expensive bottles of French wine whose name I couldn’t be bothered to pronounce. (I’d made sure it was indeed French, though.)

Here I was at the front door to my beach house that evening in early June, giddy smile and all. My first year of college had been done last month, and I’d waited a few extra weeks to return home. If I could only look in the mirror right now and smile even more so, a smile that always worked for David Dudley because he knew how much he meant to me. He knew just how important he was in my life in a way I’d never been able to confess to him. Why not show some frequent gratitude in return? A strong part of me had wanted to take care of him after I’d grown fond of him, and over time, I’d developed feelings for him that failed to weaken.

David was a trucker who was pushing forty. He’d been good friends with Mom, and she’d trusted him enough to have him move in with us three years ago during hard times with alcohol. He’d suddenly looked like an emotionally fragile puppy on the inside. Sixteen-year-old me had wanted to help him in some way to prevent him from leaving the picture completely, since the move wasn’t meant to be permanent. So, as a start, I’d fixed his trailer-trash appearance and transformed him into a total tall-dark-and-handsome type with style. Then, I’d taught him whatever Spanish I’d learned from Mom as a possible business skill. It was the only way Mom had been able to rent out the guest room to him as a more long-term solution once she’d seen how much we’d bonded. As long as he paid her every month, she was fine with it.

I opened the door as quietly as I could and closed it, my mood back up. David didn’t know when exactly I’d be home for the summer, so my surprise was perfect. I stared at the bottle and bit my lip at the memory of how much I’d spent. Oh, well. It was totally worth it. He needed to drink only to celebrate, not to cope with life, and he’d been great with alcohol now.

I crept toward the stairs and sneaked up with a grin forming on my face. This bottle wasn’t going anywhere out of sight as the perfect way to cheer up David. He lit up my world in a way I wished I could explain to the realworld but never could. After my biological dad had shown his true colors in all the dark and terrorizing shades before leaving us (the best thing besides death that could’ve ever happened), David had been the best potential replacement, even if only temporarily.

But he was also a better man than any guy at school, hence my refusal to look at him as an actual dad. I’d liked older men for a while now, but I’d never been with one before. How I longed to find someone like David—

Gentle moans and the slightest squeak from the bed filled my ears the closer I skulked toward his room door, but the female moan was a bit louder. What was going on, and who was that with him in his room? This wasn’t normal at all, since I’d never known him to have someone over for this purpose. Honestly, I didn’t feel right about this. Like, at all

“Oh, David…feels so good…fuck me…” Wait, what? Was that…Brit Baker? My best friend?! How dare she after having only jokedabout hooking up with him! The nerve!

Kissing sounds were next.

My eyes bulged. Oh. My. God. She hadbeen serious all along, and it caused me to freeze with a tightening stomach, my grip loosening until the wine bottle slipped onto the carpeted floor in a loud thump.

David and Brit stopped and made scrambling noises, probably rushing to get dressed. I couldn’t make out what they whispered.

I breathed a bit more heavily than normal. Whatever sadness came rushing into my thoughts, for whatever reason, morphed into irrational anger. I lost all the care in the world for however long it lasted, and I grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open in my grandest of entrances.

David and Brit stood near each other half-dressed, their shirts still on the floor and their shorts barely back on. The color from their faces drained as if Iwere the ghost they’d just seen. If that wasn’t obvious enough, the condom wrapper on the floor beside the bed gave it all away. Why did I have a feeling that this wasn’t even the first time it had happened?

My lips quivered, and I sensed the corners of my mouth wilting. Why, David? Why, Brit? Why?

David swallowed, his eyes barely on me while looking away every few seconds. A redder-faced Brit simply hid behind him. I, on the other hand, stood within a distance, my brain trying to process everything.