1 Chapter 1: Pilot

There was always this feeling that came back to him at the end of the night. It wasn't something he could describe in any other way than to call it dread. Dread of what? There was never an answer though. There was always a looming darkness as he stared at his bedroom ceiling, waiting for sleep to take him away.

He was always an outgoing and joyful kid. That all changed before he knew it. Looking back at the old pictures of himself made his stomach sink. The child he saw, he could barely recognize. As a gift from his friend, he didn't have the heart to throw it away, but storing the album out of his sight might as well have been the same thing.

Something was always deeply wrong, and he knew that. Not with the people around him, but with himself. The kind of gut wrenching feeling you get when you're shrouded with deep concern for somebody you care about, or the way your stomach sinks when you feel guilty. The pain was relentless, even if he could distract himself once in a while, it was always there waiting. Every day he felt more and more tired. He wished he could sleep forever, so he wouldn't have to deal with the pain. Sleep was all he cared about now, the chance to escape.

He was only slightly healthier than last winter, mentally, at least. His emotions were more controlled, but he still felt hopeless. The calendar on his wall had a date circled in red. The day he'd get to start his life instead of withering away in his home. The day he'd finally be free from the pain that plagued his every waking moment. Life always finds a way to get your hopes up, only to tear you down. He couldn't allow himself to fully believe this day would really come.

He would distract himself by going all in when he found something he enjoyed, if only for a month. He planned for his future career as if he would have one, because this Limbo he was stuck in was no place to stay. Weekends felt like months and he'd constantly forget things that he previously believed were important. He couldn't focus, his memory didn't last long and he became increasingly frustrated with his current state

He couldn't be a kid anymore. He lost any chance of being carefree at nine. Medical bills stacked up, his grades were starting to fail and he began to lose his determination. Only a Sophomore, he didn't quite believe he'd make it past high school.

To him, he still had a spark in his eyes, imagining what it would be like to be somebody important. His mind was constantly going back and forth between being a chef to being a musician or even an artist. He just wanted to make other people smile, even if only for a moment.

Doubt kept creeping through the silence and his anguish weighed him down. His determination dwindled and his ideas kept slipping away from him. All he could see now as he looked in the mirror was a shell and a burden. He didn't have the energy to make other people happy anymore. He couldn't secure his future or do anything remarkable.

He stared at that day on the calendar as if it was his saving grace. He longed for that day as though his life would instantly turn around. No matter how ridiculous it sounded, he promised to do the best he could from then on. One more night, one more day to cross off. He held on to whatever he could. Thirty-seven days. Eight hundred and eighty-eight hours. Fifty-three thousand two hundred and eighty minutes. He felt as though he could reach out to it. The seven years he waited for some semblance of peace.

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