15 14th Dawn - Turning Point

Fate may like pulling stunts on people, but life itself is one big act that sometimes plays out like a broken recorder.

Back in the countryside, though I used to fight with boys of my age every other day, I also had a few close ones that I claim as friends.

I'd play with them in the meadows or the riverside. I'd climb trees and compete against them. I'd catch bugs with them in the forest. I'd even sneak out late at night or during my afternoon nap just to hang out.

At one point, I learned the reason why they would stick up for me during those times.

"Lillian's like a boy, and boys like spending time with those who're on the same page as them," is what Mother told me one day.

I was a child back then, so I didn't mind, or rather, I didn't fully understand. I just thought that Mother said that as some kind of a coax to keep me from breaking rules just to play with them.

Right now, however, I think that I finally get her point. Then again, acting like a proper lady is already far-fetched for me, hence finding a boyfriend can just happen in my next lifetime.

Before I knew it, the same scenario has played before me, albeit in a slightly different setting.

"Lillian, you're here to discuss something?" Sol asked, making me snap back to reality.

It's suffocating enough to see them so close, but now I have to sit together with them in the bank's lounge.

A while ago, Felicity invited me to chat there since it's less crowded and has more rooms to coverse. True to her words, the bank's lounge sports a few massive glass windows and several sets of furniture that make it a perfect space for people to engage in longwinded conversations.

Talking is what I want to avoid now, though. I might voice out a sob instead of words.

"O-Oh, it's nothing. I just want to see you. Today's my day-off," I lamely reasoned.

"I have something to apologize for, Lillian. About touring you around… I'm afraid I don't have enough time these days. Sol and I will be busy with stuff from now on. I'm so sorry, Lillian! I really wished I could see through what I promised! I'm sorry!"

I just silently bite the inside of mouth at Felicity's confession. It's a good thing I lied about my intention for coming here since it turns out that I can't talk about my shopping plans or even my apprenticeship after all.

"It's fine, Felicity. You've done enough for me already. Thank you."

Indeed, I can be pretentious depending on the situation, it seems.

Telling the truth will not do any difference, anyway. I also shouldn't act selfish since this is a very occasion for both of them.

Judging by Felicity's explanation, they probably have their hands full with preparations for their engagement. It isn't unusual for people of their status to get engaged at this point of their youth, though there can be times when it's merely arranged by the parents and doesn't include their children's personal opinions.

In my friends' case, however, they seem to be more than okay with it.

For the next minutes to come, I only watch the two slowly get wrapped up in their own universe once again. Even though it's their parents' decision to bethrot them, their approval is glaringly obvious in their present interaction.

It can be because they're together for a long time now, but going by how happy and comfortable they look, it's possible that they already developed feelings for each other all the while. I can even see it through Sol's eyes that are brimming with fondness.

More than jealousy, though, what I feel is a sense of loss and dissatisfaction on my current self. Compared to this lovely maiden in front of me, I'm but a rag.

Felicity is everything I dream I could ever be – elegant poise, graceful movements and feminine mien.

Perhaps, fate is telling me that as long as I don't possess these things, I can never find love. It can just be my pessism talking again, but at this point, any emotion can probably take over me since I'm already numb all over - hollow like an empty shell.

Feeling out of place, I decided to just dart my eyes around. That's until I spot something conspicuously familiar all of the sudden. At that, I finally found a much-awaited cue to take my leave.

"I have to go. I'll see you two around!" I exclaimed before scramming out of my seat and leaving Sol and Felicity dumbfounded.

Racing out of the building, I try to forget about my heartbreak for a moment.

This thing I'm tailing is the best distraction I can ask for. What's more, it just turned my uncomfortable position earlier a blessing in disguise.

"Miss, wait! Excuse me, Miss!"

The one I'm chasing after is undoubtedly that mysterious lady in a suit.

I saw her entire frame back in the bank's lounge. I could make up those delicate curves and edges, which never left my mind since that fateful day, in one glance even though she's not wearing men's clothes right now.

Even her remarkable features, the way she carries herself, and that striking aura are the same with that one from the town square before.

"Miss!"

Finally, I caught up with her. The woman then turns and peers at me questioningly, yet all I can do is gawk at this goddess before me.

"Yes? Can I help you?" she asked, which only made me even more surprised with how it came out like a melodious tune.

"You cross-dress do you?!" I blurted out absentmindedly, receiving an incredulous stare in return.

My hands almost flew to my mouth when I realized what I said. It turns out that my head's just been too muddled since earlier and I got too excited.

"What nonsense is that?"

"W-Well… I saw you in a suit last week in the town square. You know, the day when the duke's son arrived and there's this large crowd gathered at an open area-"

"Stop."

For some reason, her once breath-taking aura turns forebodingly stifling. Her face slowly contorts into that of a demon with how frightening she glares at me.

I may have mistaken her for someone else, but if that's the case, she could've just denied it. Right now, though, she's looking down at me as if I'm some kind of a prey.

One minute, I'm nursing my first love's heartache, then on the next, I'm suddenly roped to this stupefying situation.