42 2021

It was New Year's Eve. Soon, the year 2020 would be put behind everyone and giving space to 2021. And yet, Larissa had no good expectations for the year to come. She was employed in an office and had a high position in it. She was the only woman so high in the ranks in the company. Still, her superior was the worst kind of person she had met. That's why she was going to work during the afternoon on New Year's Eve. And during a pandemic. She wasn't allowed to work from home since the beginning, even though they had the means for that.

She walked out of the office in the sun, away from the cool breeze of the air conditioning inside. It was always sunny this time of the year in South America. Larissa recalled how it was weird to her watching Christmas movies and specials tv shows, which were almost all imported from northern countries, that time of the year when she was a child. She would be sitting on her couch, eating ice cream in the heat of summer, while the TV would always show a setting with snow and cold. In South America, that time of the year could get almost unbearable hot. And of course, in the pandemic, the use of the mask would be another issue. It was better during the cold when her face would get warm, but during summer, it was suffocating.

Walking outside, Larissa realized most people around her were walking around without a mask on. She remembered how at the start of the year almost everyone would be using one, now they looked like they were "tired of it". It was only obligatory inside stores, anyway, but she would use it outside as a precaution.

She walked inside the restaurant she used to grab lunch during interval breaks. Usually, she would eat inside, but since the pandemic, she started to get food to eat on the go and looked for somewhere less populated, usually the open park. Her eyes automatically followed the cash register. Behind it sat a girl who has been stealing Larissa's stares for the last two years. Larissa didn't know the girl's age. If she started working at 18, she was at least 20 now. She looked at her early 20s, anyway.

The girl had long silky blonde hair and a petite face. She was always smiling when speaking to Larissa, it was so contagious that she had no choice but to smile back, even on bad days. It was only something she had to do for the job, but Larissa appreciated it anyway. Of course, she wouldn't be able to see that smile now, just like the whole year, since the girl was wearing a mask, just like everyone else inside.

Larissa was in her early 30s. She had long black hair, damaged for her lack of time to take care of it, even though she paid a lot of attention to her appearance when she was a teenager. Now she was a busy working woman and had little time to worry about such things. She had to give her all since it was already a miracle that she got a good position with an openly sexist boss like hers.

Seeing girls like Angelina (that was her name, Larissa saw it on her uniform) living their best with so much energy was invigorating to her, even though she wasn't regretful of her life choices. It was hard but fulfilling. She never thought about living being nourished by someone else. Having control of her own life was important. What was stressing her out that year was the people around her. Be it her sexist and ignorant boss, or her co-workers, or family.

While getting the food she was going to take out to eat, she heard people speaking at the table behind her.

"Are you going to the beach later?"

"Yeah, everything is ready."

"But you won't be going to the beach itself, right? I heard they're stopping people from getting in."

The other person gave out a laugh.

"Who is going to stop me? Me and my friends already reserved a place. That place will be full of people, you'll see."

"Aren't you afraid?"

"God is with me. It's not that bad. I have a friend who got it, he's better already. He said it's just a little flu."

Larissa sighed. It was like that the whole year. She was expecting that already, but it was even worse when her own family was like that as well. Her mother was put in the hospital with the disease just some weeks before. Now she was better, and better and already sending stupid messages about it. The last one was a giant text about how vaccines were made to give people cancer, so they shouldn't take it. Or how using masks was some kind of plan architected by some billionaire to make a new world order.

She knew her mother was saying all that because of a politician. And she knew how stupid that was. Suddenly science wasn't being treated as a fact anymore but as a political stance. The truth was being modeled by someone's ideology instead of facts.

Larissa almost missed the time when her mother's annoying messages were about rushing her to find a husband... Almost...

Her last meeting with her mother was the worst possible, with her mother saying it was all a hoax and that disease didn't exist, soon after being discharged from the hospital. Larissa had to yell at her: "You almost died! Stop being stupid."

That a lot of people were stupid, she already knew. But people close to her acting so stupid was the worst. What made her feel better was the thought that she was the owner of her own judgment, and a politician's mind didn't make her opinions.

Larissa got to the cash register again to pay for her food. Behind it, Angelina gave out her usual smile. Larissa could see it because of the wrinkles that formed below her eyes. Even while wearing a mask, it's like her smile was the same as ever. Larissa couldn't bring herself to smile back, so she greeted the girl with a "good day". Angelina informed the price of the food with a soft voice, almost hard to hear behind the mask. Larissa paid for it. She was about to get out when a commotion started to raise outside. Some man was trying to get inside without a mask and the security guy was stopping him.

"It's the law. You can't get inside. If you want to buy a mask, we can…"

"You can't force me to use a mask!" The man shouted. "It's in my civil rights. I can get inside wherever I want and you can't force me! I'm a free man!"

"Mister, I'll have to call the police if you don't calm down."

"Call it! They'll secure my rights!"

Larissa gave a worried glance at Angelina, but the girl's bitter smile, seeing from her eyes, made it clear that was a recurrent happening.

"If you're afraid, you can wait here until he's gone," she said, after Larissa's hesitation.

"No, it's fine. But thanks."

Saying that Larissa got out of the restaurant. She passed by the guy who was there still shouting at the security man. The police would probably be there soon and tell him to put on a mask or go away since it was indeed in the law. Larissa had seen the same happening in another store early in the year.

Those people would shout about their rights, their individuality, about being free. But it was all just egoism. And why being used by someone else's ideological plans would even make them free? They were more of a slave than Larissa or anyone who chose to obey the law. Not because it was law, but because they learned the reason for it.

She went to the park and looked for the most empty place to sit and eat. It was New Year's Eve, so there weren't many people around, which was unusual. They had tried to lock the park once when the pandemic started, but it was useless, as people would still get inside. Or they would agglomerate in another place.

Larissa sat on an isolated bench, putting her lunch box on the table in front of her and opening it. She took off her mask and was about to get her fork when a voice called close to her.

"Huh, sorry," It was Angelina, she was standing up, some three meters away from Larissa, looking at her, seemingly nervous. "Huh...Larissa, right?"

She wondered how Angelina knew her name. Maybe she had asked someone else from the office.

"Yeah. Did I forget something?" Larissa said, looking at her purse. Her wallet was still there, at least.

"No, that's not it." Angelina took off her mask and let out a smile. The same smile Larissa didn't get to see for almost one year. Suddenly, Larissa felt her heart beating strong with the sight. With a sweet voice, Angelina said: "A Happy New Year for you."

"Oh, for you too," Larissa said, looking curiously at Angelina.

Angeline stood there, playing with her fingers and looking nervously at Larissa. It seemed like she wanted something else.

"Huh, is there something else I can help you with?"

"I mean," Angelina said with a timid smile. "I mean, it's kinda weird…"

"It can't be worse than most things I dealt with this year. Go on."

"C-Can you give me a smile?" Angelina said. Larissa raised her eyebrows. "I mean, I said it's weird, sorry. But, I was always delighted with you smiling at me, and this year, since you were wearing a mask all the time, I couldn't...I mean, it's not about smiling at me but smiling. Huh, I, I think you're beautiful, so…"

Larissa let out a laugh. Angelina made a worried expression but softened as Larissa let out a big smile directed at her. The girl took out her smartphone.

"M-Mind if I take a picture?"

"Haha, go ahead," Larissa said, and smiled for the photo. Then a thought occurred to her. She took her own smartphone and browsed the messaging app. She showed the screen to Angelina, with a QR Code on it. "Mind taking a photo here, too?"

Flustered, Angelina touched her own smartphone until she found the app and took the photo. Larissa's contact registered in her phone. Her eyes were almost sparkling as she looked at it, but Larissa could feel the excitement as well. She didn't remember how long it was since she had felt like that. Her heart was beating strong.

"So, huh," Angelina said in a soft voice. "Tonight I'll be with my family. Just my mom and dad, but they're afraid of this whole thing, so I have been taking care of them. But, huh, if you want to call me up, we can talk a little. If you don't mind. I wanted to know you better…"

"Sure," Larissa said with a smile, almost not believing that was happening. She had been glazing at that girl for a long time, but never thought the feeling was mutual. Somehow, she blamed herself for not calling her before. "And when this whole thing is over, maybe we can grab dinner? My treat."

"Y-Yeah, of course!" Angelina said, almost jumping. "I would love it," she put her mask back. "Sorry, I'm using your break, and mine as well, actually. I just had to call you before the year ends. I wanted to do it last year and didn't have the courage. And after...everything that happened later...I just hated myself for it. Huh, that was it. Be safe."

"Thanks, you too," Larissa said, waving as the girl walked away. She looked like she was skipping as she walked.

Larissa had lost all hopes for something good happening for her at that point. She never cared for New Year, as it was just an imaginary line they were crossing. She was planning to spend the night watching her favorite TV Show and maybe reading a good book after it. Now she had another exciting plan to add to it.

Maybe it was a sign.

"Maybe things won't be so bad, after all," she said while looking at the image with a cute smiling girl in Angelina's contact in her contact list. It wasn't actually Angelina, she realized, a little disappointed. It was some kind of cartoon character. She opened the contact and sent the girl a message.

"Talk to you tonight, then, 'meu anjo'."

Was it too weird giving her a nickname already? She thought. But the heart emoticon followed by a kiss Angelina sent back made her think their feelings were probably the same. She started to feel excited as if she was a teenager again. She couldn't wait for the night to come already.

Suddenly, Larissa realized she had not touched her food yet. She took a portion of it in the fork and ate. Even that food she had tasted everyday tasted better now.

"Maybe I can hope next year will be better, after all," she thought to herself.