1 Prologue

"Get down there please!" my doctor shouted

I was standing on the roof edge of there habilitation building. I've been here for a couple of months now. My father send me here because he said, he was worried about me, if I know he was just sick of being with his son who is emotionally unstable. He's probably thinking that it's

better to be on a honey moon with his new wife than with his son.

"Come on Levi!We can talk about this, just let me hear you!" Dr. Akiyama said.

I looked down.

I guess this height is enough to kill me if I fall from here to there.

I looked back at the sunset. Well at least I had a glimpse of the sunset before I sleep for eternity. I'm already tired of this shit

life. It's too tiring already.

"Hey! Levi right?"

I quickly turned to the person who called me. It's him again. He's carefully taking his time towards me.

"You know it's dangerous here" I said as I sat comfortably on the roof edge while letting my feet hang in the air.

"You know that too" he replied and sat beside me

We were silent for about a minute.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked him, when he sat beside me.

"I'm stopping you from jumping off this roof" he honestly replied

I examined him carefully. He's not a psychiatrist and he's also not a patient here.

"How about you what are you doing here?" He asked and then smiled at me

"Well, I was about to jump when you came" I sarcastically said

"I like your honesty" he said as he looked at the sunset.

Then we stayed in silence until the sunset end.

"I don't know what you're going through, since you didn't answer my question  earlier, but I'm certain that it's too painful for you, that you

would choose to end it the easiest way and I'm quite sure that you know, that it's not the right solution to it" he said and looked at me.

I looked at him, before I answered him.

"What makes you say that?You don't know me" I replied

"I know but I'm sure you're a good person" he said

"No good person would want to kill himself" I commented

"You're not killing yourself, you're just killing the pain" then he looked at me straight in the eye

"Sometimes pain push us to do things without thinking it first. It's just that, when pain started to

embrace us, it will keep pulling us down where darkness is everywhere. You're letting it to defeat you"he added

"Because I'm a loser. I can't fight back, it's too over whelming" I said and looked down

I saw doctor Akiyama, he's looking at us. Is he there the whole time?

"You know Levi, you're not alone. They're still people who's willing to pull you out of the darkness, you just got to let them." I looked at him. I can see the sincerity in his eyes.

"There are people that still wants to fight with you, don't shut them out. Maybe they can do something for you" he said, I looked at the sky, and kept silent

"Society and reality are cruel but that doesn't mean that you have to be cruel to yourself too. You can't just give upon yourself. How can the world, the society and the reality fight for you if in the first place you're the one who give up first?" then he looked up at the sky too

"Someone from above gave us our lives, and we have the right to fight for it. Don't locked

yourself inside a four corner room filled with darkness and pain, you deserve to be happy. You should fight for it." he said

This time I was looking at him. Finally, I'm hearing the words that I need to hear even if I'm not opening myself up to him.

Then he suddenly stood up.

"I got to go. I have to meet my mom tonight." he said and slowly walked away but before he

reached the attic window he looked back at me

"Don't treat your life as a curse because if you do, then everyday will be a curse. I just hope I will see you soon when you're all fixed up and you can put a genuine smile on your face" he said and

smile,  then he went back inside the attic.

I shut my eyes tightly and breath the evening air. A tear made its way from my cheeks, then I looked up at the evening sky.

I guess I won't be joining you tonight mom.