1 In pain while waking up
I thought I'm gonna die.
Flashback.
It's 4 am. I opened my eyes. I look up and realized I forgot to turn off the light when I was going to sleep. I looked on my side and realized that I had also forgotten to turn off my laptop. If I paid my electricity bills, this gonna cost me a lot of money. Fortunately, The electricity is paid collectively by all members of this house. Unfortunately, I haven't paid my bill.
I got some cash from my parents. but almost most of it was already gone when I went out to buy some daily necessities. It was supposed to not cost me a lot of money if not that I also bought a towel and many-many stuff that I forgot to bring from my hometown. My father told me to check what I have to bring several times but I still forget to do that.
And now I'm planning to barely live with only slices of bread, some pure dry noodles that I plan to eat with some beef soup instant flavoring (Masako). for the drinks, I usually boil the faucet water. It's dirty and tastes disgusting even though it's tasteless. I still got some instant coffee, tea bags, and a lot- a lot of sugar from my parent. so many grams of sugar in plastic bags. I do not even drink that much. I might try to sell some of this stuff.
Hmm... Why am I... ah.
Let's go back to 4 am. People with high productivity routines will start waking up and exercising in these hours. Some religious folks will start praying with each respective deity hoping for a good day. But most of us gonna do at this hour? If you are the most of us, you can guess what I'm gonna do.
Back to sleep.
...
It's 7 am. most of us start the day at this hour... I think. most people on the internet say that so I'm just assuming. But what I'm gonna do? you must be expected to sleep again but no. Instead of sleeping, I start... masturbating...
...
Yeah, I'm kinda a loser.
masturbating... reading a novel... playing video games... I do that every day.
Doing something productive...? I tried... and failed.
Loser stuff going on until 11 am. And I start waking up went right up to the bathroom. While washing my hand my vision starts to get fuzzy. I feel lightheaded and dizzy. I know what happens at this point. I read it somewhere that it happens because you stand up too fast. This is normal. This happens to me all the time.
What's weird is that I also feel weak. I also feel pain in my chest. I thought it was because I had yet had my breakfast. So I grab some slices of bread and eat it. four slice bread. I sat up then drink some water. I wait and still feel pain. I know it won't go away so fast but the pain around my chest became unbearable. I don't know if it's my lung or my heart. Did I have a heart attack? it's not a heart attack right? I'm not that obese I'm just not very athletic.
I crawl to my bed and lie on it then it becomes a little more bearable.
I take a deep breath then release it.
deep breath... hold... release...
deep breath... hold... release...
repeatedly. for several minutes.
after a while, the pain started to fade and I gain some of my strength.
I thought I'm gonna die.
What was that...?
