33 Beginning of his nightmares
Shiva stumbled out of his house, his mind numb by the pain and the weight of everyone's accusations. He had come home after her death, hoping to find some solace in the familiar surroundings of his childhood home. Hoping his family would support him or guide him a little. That together with them, he'd be fine. But instead, he found only anger, bitterness, and blame.
As he walked through the streets of his neighborhood, he could feel the stares of his neighbors burning into his back. He could hear their whispers and their curses, their accusations and their taunts. They all blamed him for her death, and he couldn't bear the weight of their judgment any longer.
_
He stumbled into a dark alleyway, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He could feel the rage building inside him, a burning fire that threatened to consume him entirely. He needed an outlet for his pain, a release for his anger, Or he felt like he'd simply burst apart.
And then he found it, an outlet in the form of a young man who had been walking in the opposite direction.
The man looked drunk, as he saw Shiva just standing there, he said - "Ahh you're the guy from the city huh. The one who got his sister killed. Man what were you _ _."
His words were cut short as without thinking, Shiva lunged at the man, his fists flying in a wild fury. Punching him non stop, when he pulled his hand up to cover his head, he simply kicked him down, grabbing the bottle and crahing it on his hands.
He beat him half-dead, not even stopping when the man was all bloodied and begged for mercy. All he could think about was his sister, the way she had looked at him with trusting eyes, the way she had smiled at him. The way his family treated him, the way everything changed.
As the adrenaline finally faded and the rage dissipated, he collapsed to the ground, his body wracked with sobs. He knew that what he had done was wrong, that he had let his anger and his pain control him. He knew that he had only made things worse, that he had only added other things he'd be blamed for, more things he'd be hated for.
He knew the fact that he would never be the same again, that his sister's death had changed him in ways that he could not even begin to comprehend.
_
He stumbled back to his family's home, hoping to find some measure of forgiveness or understanding. But instead, he found only more blame and more accusations. His parents turned their backs on him, his brothers looked at him with hatred in their eyes. Even his sister's memory seemed to have turned against him, reminding him of his failure and his shortcomings.
Despite his attempts to move on, Shiva remained forever alone, trapped in his own pain and suffering. His family, who were also mourning the loss of their daughter and sister, were unable to provide him with any semblance of support as they too struggled to cope with their grief.
_
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟮 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗥𝗶𝗮'𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵
As the sun began to set and the streets grew quiet, Shiva found himself standing alone in a dark alleyway. He leaned against a wall, feeling the cold bricks against his back. He closed his eyes and tried to shut out the world, to block out the voices that had been tormenting him all day.
But then he heard a whisper, a soft voice that seemed to come from nowhere. "Shiva," it said, "look at me."
He opened his eyes and saw a ghostly figure in front of him. It was Ria, her face pale and ethereal. He gasped, unable to believe what he was seeing.
"Ria?" he whispered.
"Yes, it's me," she said. "Do you wanna hear a secret brother. Something important."
He felt a lump in his throat, his heart pounding in his chest. "What is it?" he asked.
"I forgave you, Shiva," she said. "I know it wasn't your fault. Now you have to forgive yourself too."
He felt tears streaming down his face, his body shaking with emotion. "I don't know how," he said. "I don't know how to live like this."
"You have to try," she said. "For me, and for her, for yourself. You have to find a way to move on. I love you, brother. And I always will."
With those words, Ria's ghostly figure began to fade away, her voice growing fainter and fainter until it was gone. Shiva was left alone in the alleyway, still crying.
_
Shiva's world has been shattered since her death. Every day was a struggle as he battles with his own emotions and the constant reminder of her absence.
His life became a constant battle, and he felt as though he was slowly losing the fight.
He had started seeing her ghostly figure everyday now, he hears her voice, and feels her presence everywhere he goes, making it impossible to escape the grief that consumes him.
He tried to continue living his life, but everything seems to be slipping away from him. His life becoming a living hell, with no escape from his misery.
_
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟮𝟬 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗥𝗶𝗮'𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵
After having one more fight at his home, today Shiva had decided to end it all by taking his own life, only to be stopped by Ria's ghost, who appeared before him, crying and begging him to stop.
Shiva: (holding a knife to his wrist) I can't take this pain anymore. I'm sorry, I truly am.
Ria's Ghost: (appearing before him) No, please don't do this. You don't have to be sorry. It wasn't your fault.
Shiva : (in tears) How can you say that? You're gone because of me. I should have protected you, I should've been there. I failed.
Ria : (gently) No, you didn't fail. You loved me and cared for me. You did everything you could. It was just an accident, and accidents happen.
Shiva : (in disbelief) But how can you forgive me so easily? I caused your death.
Ria: (smiling) Because I love you, and I know you loved me too. You don't have to carry this burden alone. I'm here for you, always.
Shiva : (sobbing) But how can I live with myself? I can't face our family, knowing that I'm the reason you're gone.
Ria - You're not alone, brother. I'm with you, always.
_
As he walked, he heard the sound of crying, of wailing and mourning. He knew that it was for Ria, that some new relative must have come home. But he couldn't bring himself to go back, to face his family and the people who had once been his friends. He felt like an outcast, like he had been banished from the only world he had ever known.
He walked out of the room, into the cool night air, feeling the weight of his grief and his guilt pressing down on him, as he slept on the roadside, looking up at the dark sky.
_
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟮𝟰 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗥𝗶𝗮'𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵
*𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀
Shiva: (holding a knife to his wrist) I can't take this pain anymore. I'm sorry, sis, I really am.
Ria: (appearing before him) No, please don't do this. You don't have to be sorry. It wasn't your fault.
Shiva: (in tears) How can you say that? You're gone because of me. I should have protected you, but I failed.
Ria's face contorting in anger, as her voice took a dark turn - "Failed? You did more than just fail, you idiot, you killed me! You're the reason I'm not here anymore. You're a failure and a coward."
Shiva - (in shock and pain) What are you saying? You're supposed to comfort me, not hurt me more.
Ria: (laughing maliciously) Comfort you? Look at this hypocrite. You know how death feels like, how I suffered before dying. You don't deserve comfort. You deserve to die, just like I did. You're pathetic, and I hate you.
(Shiva watched as Ria's face and body turned all bloody, her head wounded badly. As her hand twisted at a weird angle, came forward to choke him)
Shiva closed his eyes, unable to see anymore. "No, this can't be happening. You're not Ria, you're not real. she wouldn't say these things."
Ria : (screaming) Yes, I am real. I am your sister! And I hate you! Now Die! Die! Die!
Shiva : (sobbing and shaking) - You're not real. you're not real.
Ria : (disappearing) I'll always be real, and I'll always hate you.
(Shiva wakes up, sweating and crying)
Shiva : It was just a nightmare. She didn't mean those things. She never would.
(Shiva hugs a picture frame of Ria, crying)
"You would never hate me, right Ria."
__
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟮 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀
Father: How could you let this happen, Shiva? Ria was your responsibility.
Mother: My poor Ria! She was just a child! And now she's gone because of you!
Vikram: You didn't care about her at all, did you? You were too busy with your own life to protect her.
Neighbor 1: (tauntingly) Shame on you lol! You call yourself a brother, but you left her all alone.
Neighbor 2: (disgustedly) You're a heartless bastard. You should be ashamed of yourself.
(Shiva just stood there silently, his head down in shame)
Father: (angrily) Answer us, Shiva! Why did you let her die?
Mother: We trusted you to take care of her, and you failed her. You failed us.
Vikram: (shouting) Say something, damn it! You owe us an explanation!
(Shiva finally looking up, tears sliping down his cheeks)
Shiva: (barely audible) I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Neighbor 1: (sarcastically) Oh,look, he's sorry now. That makes everything better.
Neighbor 2: (coldly) Sorry doesn't bring anyone back from the dead, you bastard.
Father: Ria's blood is on your hands.
(Shiva looks at his hands covered in blood as with a jolt of shock, he wakes up)
_
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟯 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀
Father: "How could you let this happen, Shiva? You were supposed to take care of her! You promised us you would. Then why. Why did you let it happen."
Mother: "She was just a child, my child. How could you be so careless?"
Vikram: "You're a disgrace, Shive. You were responsible for her safety and you failed. You don't deserve to be part of this family anymore."
Father: "We trusted you with our daughter's life, and you let us down. You're no son of mine!"
Mother: "I curse the day you were born, Shiva! You brought nothing but misery to this family!"
Vikram: "You better not show your face around here again. You're dead to us now."
__
Ria's ghostly figure looked at Shiva with tears in her eyes. "Don't listen to them," she said softly. "it's just a nightmare. It's not real."
"and you are." Shiva said with a defeated smile on his face.
"It wasn't your fault." Ria said as she hugged him.
Shiva shook his head in disbelief. "How can you say that?" he replied, his voice cracking. "You're gone because of me."
Ria's ghostly figure put her hand on his shoulder. "You couldn't have known what would happen," she said. "It was just an accident."
Shiva's tears fell down his face as he looked at his sister. "I miss you so much," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I know," Ria's ghostly figure said. "But you have to be strong. You have to live your life for me. Don't let their blaming and anger consume you."
Shiva nodded slowly, wiping away his tears. "I'll try," he said, his voice still filled with pain. "But it's so hard."
Ria's ghostly figure smiled sadly. "I know," she said. "But I'll always be with you. Whenever you need me, just close your eyes and I'll be there."
__
𝗗𝗮𝘆 N 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀
Shiva wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking from another nightmare of Ria's ghost haunting him. Her voice echoing in his head, blaming him for her death and telling him that he should have done more to save her.
As he tried to calm down, he heard the wailing cries of his mother and father in the next room. He knows that deep down they are still blaming him for Ria's death too.
Feeling hopeless and alone, he just let himself fall asleep, only to wake up the next day to the same nightmare.
_
These recurring haunting nightmares were the reasons why he left his house, after the 32 days of mourning rituals*¹ were completed. and why he never returned.
He didn't want to live in that house and be reminded of her every moment. He didn't want to watch the faces of the people he loved, filled with anger and hatred towards him - so he ignored them.
His family too didn't stop him and let him go. Maybe they didn't know he'll never truly return. or maybe they too didn't want to see his face and be reminded of her again.
_
When Shiva left his village, and his family behind, he thought at least there was still someone who'll be there for him. someone who knows the truth, someone who will understand him and support him, just to be further broken & disappointed - when that someone left him too.
SHE left him too.
But those are his nightmares for another time.
##
𝗔/𝗡 - So with this his nightmare on the first day of Arcadia ends. Let's wake him up now. shall we...
*********His family's reactions were similar but mc remembers them with a little exaggeration due to his own guilty consciousness. So don't go on hating anybody yet. You'll know the real truth later on. ********
___ *¹ - In Indian culture many mourn their loved one's death for 32 days continuously so there souls can rest in peace.
