2 DEALING WITH DEPRESSION

I took a deep breath, then I opened the entrance door of Micro Finance bank, seeing my colleagues standing in line, I just know what to expect, season complimentary.

"As 2020 added one, this 2021, all your lives endeavor will increase in every arena of your life. Happy new year Micheal." Blessing stuffed a piece of cake in my mouth seeing too excited as she gives way for my next colleague.

"Whatever too difficult to touch, reach, achieve or earn in the previous old year, all shall be effortlessly proffered and bestowed by the grace of this new year. Happy new year dear." Esther said.

"No longer sorrow, lack, destitution, all the ways to evil ceased. But road to promotional glory, achievement, upliftment, divine promotions, break-free, abounding blessings, grace, divine favour and all desirous desires shall be added. Happy new year dear." Precious said.

"May you recover the golden lose of past years. Everything you lay hands upon shall excel, no plague shall locate your home, for this new year is your testimony. Happy new year Bro." Dainel said.

Before another person could speak, I hushed him by thanking them. Season complimentary is a tradition. I quickly joined the line to compliment the new staff that walked in. We concluded our tradition at 9:00am before commencing our duties.

"Hey everyone listen up." Mercy wailed to gain attention. "Dinner at my place by 7, 7 sharp." She called out Victor who was heading to the restroom. "Victor hope you heard me, and when your coming, bring some bottles of wine, Esther you'll bring tin of cookies, Blessing you'll bring boxed candies, I'll then do the decoration with candles, if there's anything else I'll let you guys know."

"Well this sounds like so much fun." I said.

Chatters were heard in the background, everyone seems to love the idea of co-worker party.

The time for showup didn't happen, using a pejorative sense, I could call it an African Time. Tardiness, we call came through by 8 and quarter past 8, all the loan sale officers, Ayomide, Esther, Dainel, Emmanuel, Precious, Kingsley, Peter, and Joy. Kicking off the party with dance, games and lots of fun.

Mercy got a call and stood up, heading to the corridor, few minutes later, she came by crying. Ayomide decided to comfort her, I think that's the only way to discover the scene befalling us.

"What is it, Mercy talk to me." Joy reached out to Mercy's hand, feeling sympathetic.

"Him". Mercy stuttered, shiver running down her spine.

"Who?" Kingsley asked.

"Boyfriend issues." Blessing responded. "Look baby girl, I feel empathetic towards you, I recognize just how you feel, we all do right?"

Everyone agreed.

"Mercy you hosted this party for us to celebrate new year, so please cheer up." Peter said.

"Yes cheer up." Precious demanded.

"But I can't." Mercy said, tears coursing down her cheeks. "God..." She took in a deep breath. "I'm depressed, I guess you guys have seen me happy everyday at work but you haven't seen me cry." Again tears flowed from her eyes.

"Babe your not the only one going through depression. It hits me too, like am standing on a cliff, being pulled every which way. Life wants me to listen to what it has to say, but it never stops to consider if am okay. I just want to jump some days, off into the haze, watch my worries fade, instead of persistently invade. Life likes to say it's just a phase, it wants to convince me I'm okay. But life also acts like I am the one who is unforgivable, it doesn't realize the things I can handle are minimal, it's disappointment is visible, making some days seem unlivable." Precious finally added. "Yet life continues to put my soul in question, as it makes numerous suggestions, but I can't move in every direction, I'm no exception, you can see my regression, I am life with depression."

"At this moment, we all need a bottle of coke, it helps..." Emmanuel looked at everybody, noticing our serious faces. "With depression." He rushed to the fridge, grabbing bottles and now placing it before us.

"Oh God... I cry all day, I cry all night, I can't deal with the fact that am not loved, no matter how I try, no matter how I give out all my love, I feel like they just hate me for my skin cos am obesed. No one wants to marry an obesed girl, do you... Dainel? Do you... Emmanuel? Do you... Micheal? Do you... Peter? Do you... Ayomide? Do you... Kingsley? She asked, looking at us one by one and calling out our names.

"Hey it's not like that..." I said.

"Then it's like how, I'm almost 40, unmarried, am reaching my menopause for Christ's sake." Mercy cried out.

"Hey calm down." Emmanuel placed the last coke he had before Mercy and sat on the sofa.

"It's hard to fit in, am always an outcast." She mellowed down her voice. "They don't like my face because it's full of acne, my sports make me sweat, even drill class and running track, I did that and plus I did beat and box, it was always boring so if I didn't read, I would figure out problems with my skin. Thinking of how to feel beautiful not only on the inside but outside too, crying at night, wondering who I really am in the mirror, who am I? She tried to hold back a teardrop. "God this is mentally fucking me up, I feel like committing suicide."

Ayomide held her so tight, wiping her tears.

"Please don't say that, atleast we're here for you, God is too." Ayomide kissed Mercy on the forehead.

"Sorry I can't do this." She made her way out of the tight cuddle, stood up and left the premises.

"Okay party times over." Precious announced. "Let's all just go home."

My leg dragging up against the sands as I made my way home.

"You don't look happy, a penny for your thought." Favour walked in on me at the sitting room and sat down to hear me out after noticing that my eyes weren't gazed on the TV screen.

"I just want to help, I feel like putting myself in people's shoe and just try to help them feel better, I don't know if you'll understand." I said.

"Then write." Favour said. "Yes... I mean." She adjusted. "Try blogging, remember you said you wanted to make more money, why not make it as a side hustle."

A smile plastered on my face as I mentioned the word. "Blogging."