17 Bonus Chapter: Snap Out of It. You're still here.

2nd Day since John arrived in the Magus World.

I'm still here. I thought this was a dream... I hoped this was a dream. Living in this world isn't so bad ...if you don't regard that I am basically trapped in here with no way to return to my own world and when the only thing keeping me going is the hope of going back after this novel's original ending finish.

Mom, Dad... I know I haven't been the best eldest son in the world... but I'm still alive. I'm sorry if I might never get the chance to repay you for all the things you did for me.

This world is both cruel and hard. I hope my siblings never come to this world although I think my 3rd and only brother would like to take a visit here just to see what's it like since he kept on watching anime.

My 2nd sister would have freaked out, I bet. My 4th and 5th sister... They're still too young... I hope they're safe and well fed so they can grow strong and smart.

I was really avoiding thinking about it but... What If I can't go back? Although earth isn't really the best place to live in, its still the world I was born in.

Gerald... my monster. If I don't come back...just be happy... find someone new. I want you to wait for me but that would be selfish of me. I don't want you to wait until you grow old waiting for someone who doesn't even know if he'll return. I want to tell you that I can and will return...but... I really don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I just missed you and I wish you were by my side.

Not here... It's too dangerous here for people like us who lived in the peaceful modern society...at least on the surface. I miss the hot weather at the Philippines even if I always complain about it. You were always the stronger one between us. You're tall figure makes me feel safe. You always said you can't handle long distance relationships... hahaha... I don't think we're even in the same dimension or even reality. How....how do I even get to you? You're so far... Everyone...i know.. is so... so.. far. *sob* *sob*

And this guy... This Main character, FangMing... no Leylin. He's not that handsome looking... I don't even know why people thought he was handsome in the earlier chapters....but more importantly... I need this guy to be alive and finish this story but the truth is... I don't really want to join his adventure.

Main characters always go through hardships, crisis and their problems are never-ending. If I could, I just want to wait this out somewhere peaceful... but I know better. I need to go with him so I can ensure that he'll finish this story. To ensure that he doesn't end up dying.

I know he finished this story already once... but me being here might have changed something. The Butterfly effect they call back on earth is too significant to ignore that's why I need to be there... To witness it all and to prevent anything going wrong.

I'm really tired. Tired of this cold wooden floor. Tired of this reality. Tired of everything that just happened. I'm tired of pretending that I can do this and that everything will be alright.

Who said it would be easy to be reincarnated in a new world? If I was transferred here without knowing the language, Im pretty sure I might have died earlier than later.

Is this the price of asking for another chance... a second chance at living life. Yes, you gave me second chance at life... but not on earth... not there where I was born but here in this story, in this world I don't even know if it really exist. Sometimes I think I'm already dead. Maybe this is my version of heaven?

Maybe I'm at a hospital in a coma and this is all a big long dream? Maybe if I kill myself here right now... I would wake up.. For all I know.. this dream is the only thing that is keeping me in a coma. Should I... Can I... even kill myself... even if this is just a dream... what if its not? Will I really die...

But what if it is... I'll be free after this... I might go back... I might be able to see the people I love back in earth. Their smiles. Their faces. I miss them.. I miss them so damn much!!!

This my reality right now and I can't even accept it... I need to... Accept it John... no... Seely.. Accept it and hope for a better ending. A happy ending where I can go home.

Live another day and see through it.

Live... I just need to live... Time to be confident even if it isn't real... To be cruel even if im not. Time to put an act and fool yourself until you finally convinced yourself you can do it.

This main character I am with... His my brother.. He'll protect me...right?...

I need to kill... to live. Its either me.. or them. They...the people in this world. They're just waiting for me to mess up... To give up... Well you know what... Fuck that! I won't die here! I can't die here! Someone is waiting for me back there! No supreme being or demon can stop me from returning home.

Keep it together... Calm breathes... That's right. Stay calm. Stay focused. Stay safe and get every opportunity to be strong. Only the strong lives. Only the strong can afford comfort. Comfort that might help me stay a little saner. Never abuse power. Never underestimate an enemy.

Don't attract trouble... tsk... who am I kidding. With the Main character here with me, trouble is a friend of mine.

Let's just get some rest first...and I really need to remember some useful reincarnation to another world tips or maybe those mangas I've read? ...Ah...I miss the internet too. Semi-Otakus like me can't survive like this!

I have a brother here. The main character. Treat family right and they'll treat you right forever. I just came with that up and I want to believe that what I just came up with is applicable here.

Okay Seely. It's another day again. Snap out it. You're still here.