1 Life and Complications

Life, we live by and think about it. But why? Have i been here before? How i lived, i have done everything in my life but what life has done to me. I have done, but was i done? We rise by expectations and fall by it. The things we build by hardest of our work are broken so easily. Though we thought, of the ways we could. We could walk by and pass through obstacles, life has always made barriers to stop us from going where we want to. We're broken, healed quickly and fly again with no fear to fall. Meeting a million faces in our entire life, and a billion moments. Hundreds of memories, apart a thousand regrets. But where does it all go? Each second drops from the hour, the hours making into days and eventually ends the year and so years of our life. Have i missed something all along? Or have i?

The darkest hours seem to bring out the most light, of course you've heard it right, "The light doesn't shine without darkness". So what is the purpose of us being here and wondering what life is? Something quite different, some ways other than usual. Taking different paths, of how we always walked on our obstinate ways, perhaps broke us.

We're walking, walking until we finally cannot.

We probably are lost somewhere, somewhere where we're looking for something, but a pity we cannot find. We have lost ourselves! Looking for something that wasn't there and seeking for something that wasn't ours. We probably are falling daily, more than we will ever think. Life has always been unfair. The best people are ignored First. A mistake will be remembered, not forgotten or avoided the next time. Until the sun rises, the whole night stays dark.

But wasn't your mind all dark too? The time didn't matter, the power did. The only time we realise is the time we regret. Your feelings are something cannot be expressed or shown. You might feel empty, lonely and simply cannot show it. Perhaps it is more comfortable to keep everything by yourself rather than showing anyone about you. But everything seems to be in place, and it also seems to be breaking. We made our bridges of expectations, weak and high. They collapsed while we walked on it with pride. But who suffered when you fell? No one other than you! If you could stop something from happening, it would've never happened. Regrets are coming, sometimes mild and sometimes hard that makes our heart shake. But we push regrets away, not making them occupy our mind. Ever feeling lonely, sometimes being with friends or family and still getting a feeling of being lonely. Even when you're alone, you're lonely. Tried, sleeping and taking pills to fix your tiredness, but it was your soul which was tired, made you tired and restless at the same time. You wondered what insomnia was, dreaming with your eyes open, Seeing nothing but darkness around you. You used to sleep for the dreams and now you dream of sleeping. Unusual, of your childhood. We were little and found ourselves growing, but as the time passed we realised growing is not only physically.

Until you're broken into pieces and falling apart daily and there is no one to see your heart bleeding.

It wasn't your age, it was your time. Time for getting mature to look into the world with a new different view. Our eyes have cried a million times so that they're washed by it so we see everything better.

Something seemed to bother you, while you were comfortable. Everything just disappeared from you and you were all alone struggling by yourself. Making way and trying hard daily. Faking a smile in front of every human you meet. Hiding back your pain and agony. Your scars are hidden by the long sleeved shirts you wear. What did you write on your skin? Probably the pain that couldn't be described.

Your scars are here with you, apart from people who left you. Your pain is hidden from everyone because no one understands it. How you've suffered and gone though it, grown through it.

Your eyes show a deep message of how sleep was not necessary for the dark nights. Your dark circles shine brighter for you because they've known you, they've seen you crying the whole night. You've starved yourself for not eating anything since days.

You've told yourself you've done everything but have you? You've let your thoughts control your mind and eventually it made everything worse.

I only wished to see the brighter days until all of the nights are gone and i finally can sleep with my eyes closed. The Sun rises daily and sets making a way for your daily life route. The day and night. But it all remained same the way you were, it couldn't affect you. But the nights only made you weak and broke you apart. Have you realised, you've let them break you. Otherwise no one or nothing could've been capable of breaking a strong soul like you, you've been broken and shattered into a million pieces and only let those pieces be there. You tried mending it to make it better. You broke yourself and insisted on healing. You've healed and been better. You haven't been broken if you weren't weak before, and stronger eventually until now. We are pretty unbreakable and breakable too. Our minds are trapped into thoughts, some beautiful some deadly. Make a way between these you decide how you live. Thinking over what is coming or thinking over what you lost. Human brain is known for playing deadly tricks over its body. You let your thoughts control you and you fall apart every single time you think. You think deeply but that's how the cuts are like too. Deep into your heart, made by yourself. How are we breaking ourselves eventually and falling apart. We had our mind under our control but we let it control us. We let it make everything worse, nearly killed us and even though we lived, we lived in agony. What breaks a heart is nothing other than the person itself to whom the heart belongs. As the time passes we realise that our heart was wrapped around deadly thorns. It couldn't have been more worse, every time it tried to move, it got hurt. But you let it get cuts over, by yourself. Those were limits to your expectations and it got hurt every time you fell off your expectations. You made your heart break, burn and stab it all by yourself, unknowingly the situations blamed everything upon it. You realise you did wrong to yourself when you no longer break your own heart for others, they already got theirs and you got yours and you aren't supposed to break it. Metals are usually melted, and recasted into better shapes, making it even stronger. So is that your heart which was shattered into a million pieces, and despite of that you mend it all together, and made it a better piece, stronger and better.

We taste everything in our life, no matter how bitter and bad the situation it may be, to avoid it happening from the next time. You're given ways to walk on, your path may contain obstacles but you grow by going through. Your path may be dark but you have enough power to make your own light and guide yourself. You're strong and so you do not need anyone to hold your hand when you're down, the life's gonna kick you down but how you get up is all upto you. May the average life of human be 80 years, and how you will pass by is all on you. Pain is inevitable, you'll suffer and you'll pass through it. Don't be scared, you alone are enough for you. You complicate the situation by stressing too much over it. It is life, and it doesn't see the wrath it'll push upon any human. Death won't end your problems, it will end you. Pain isn't forever, so suicide isn't a solution to anything. Cries and cuts were only done in the worst times to look upon them in the future and realise how far we've been. Don't worry! Time passes by quick, your life will pass by and so will your hard times. How you live will all depend on you, with no expectations and leading yourself into the light. So this was human life in a nutshell. Pain and cries, laughs and smiles will find their way to you. It is how life was designed, for you to be better over time. It is life, it will pass by