9 Part 1 - The truth

Bless POV

We just sat there on the rooftop, after asking her if she's ready to talk, she didn't say anything but just nodded at me. I'm truly glad I was able to talk to her once again. After all these days, I've been worrying about how to approach her after the incident but now this is my chance to make sure she opens up to me.

"So, how you've been doing these couple of days?" I know, it wasn't a great way to start a conversation. But that's all I can come up with right now.

She just looks straight across the scenery, nothing in her eyes is telling me that she's been doing fine. She just clutches her knees tight to her body while resting her head softly.

"Not great. Although I'm back in my room, Maria still being overly cautious with everything I do." She replied, her voice just filled with a hint of despair as she speaks up.

"Overly cautious? Like how?" I asked her, trying to get a little bit more information one at a time.

"She's been coming to my room more often than before. Everything is even stricter, she found out that we go out the night before that... incident... and she was furious about it." She looks away as she explains it.

"Well, isn't it good that Maria cares about you? She's doing that because she must be really worried, you know."

"I know! But it's quite annoying! It's even harder for me to sneak out whenever I want to. By now, I think she might have found out that I'm not even in my room." She sulked as she buried her face tightly down on her knees.

Looking at the time, it should be dinner by now. She's right, Maria might have realized she's not in her room right now. Well, this will definitely come as a problem if she doesn't return quickly. But she seems like she won't budge an inch even how much I try to convince her. Anyways, it's been quite a long time for me to have a conversation like this with her. I guess I'll just stay with her here and explains things to Maria so she won't scold Emilia later.

I secretly gaze at her realizing how tight she been clenching herself up like that, she's even shaking. It must be cold. All she was wearing is just a pure white dress with a hint of silhouette and embedded on her waist with a small yellow coloured rose. Not to mention, she's only wearing sandals. All and all, her dress is quite thin too. Unconsciously I took off my sweater and cover her up with it, Emilia slowly eased herself and no longer clench her body as tight when I cover her with the sweater to warm her up. I guess that might help a bit.

"You'll catch a cold if you stay up here wearing like that."

"I don't care... It's not like it wasn't normal for me to get sick all the time," said Emilia. Seems like she can open up a bit more than usual now.

"You still haven't answered me, what are you doing up here?" Emilia asked, she still wanted to know my agenda for coming here.

"To tell the truth, I was... thinking about you lately. After that incident, I keep on encouraging myself to see you again. But somehow I have been holding myself back,"

"So, you creepily follow me up here huh?" Emilia replied as she slowly moves away from me a bit.

"Agh!... I knew you will think of it like that! I wasn't creeping on you dammit!" I explain to her in the meantime and slowly move close to her furiously.

"Hahahaha! I was playing around with you, relax~!" She rests her cheek down on her hand that crosses against her knees. She stares straight at me, but her smile was no longer there as our eyes met.

"I'm glad, I thought you would never want to see me again after I show you that part of myself... you know... almost died..." she said, as her laughs slowly turn into tears. She looks very vulnerable at this moment. I don't know if I'm able to make her feel any better. But I'll keep on trying.

"There there, you don't have to start crying again! Of course, I wanted to see you again! We're friends aren't we?" she wiped her tears once again and started apologizing.

"I'm glad... I'm really happy that you considered me as your friend, I don't really have one before, to begin with," Emilia smiled. It makes my heart skipped and I faintly blush from her word. That was quite a shock, her smile was just too pure.

For some reason, I felt like my worries for her just gone a little bit when I'm able to comfort her like this. But, this isn't the only reason I'm here in the first place. I need to learn the truth about her.

"Em-" as I was about to ask her, she interrupted.

"Bless, why are you being so nice to me? We're not even that close to each other before. Not to mention, we only knew each other for a few days," our eyes met when she asked me those question. I need to calm myself down. I didn't do this unconsciously am I? Anyways I need to answer her.

"Well, I don't know if it just me being myself but... It feels like I was interested in you. N-Not in that kind of way of course! You're just a mysterious person and it makes me wanted to know more about you!"

"You're definitely a creep..." Emilia just smirks when I answered her question.

"Sh-Shut up! Ah... should I stop being nice to you then?!"

"Hahahaha! No no no! of course, don't! That will make me sad!" she covered her mouth, desperately trying to hold her laughs back.

"Sheeeessshh, anyways... I want to ask you one thing," I said, She just looks at me as she slants her head sideways. "Hm? sure?" she replied.

"But I want you to answer me truthfully. This time, no more covering up." She just stares at me seriously and with no time wasted, I quickly asked her.

"Why... are you admitted to this hospital in the first place?" Emilia stuttered a little, she then took a deep breath and looks over to the other side.

"Do you remember when I asked you, what is the limit of humans until they stop trying..." said Emilia, her soft-spoken voice as she speaks facade her true feeling that she's been hiding. what is she trying to tell me?

"Mhm, I do."

"Then, remember when I said, what if death that's holding them back..." she pulled my sweater around her body. Gently covering herself as the cold wind of the night blows upon us.

"What are you trying to imply here Emilia?" I asked.

She just smiled, although it is obviously written on her face that her next word she will be saying isn't something I was prepared for.

"I'm dying, Bless." she finally said the truth. "I don't have much time left in this world... The doctor said I was diagnosed with some kind of new disease. They still finding out what was the source behind my sickness. Where does it even come from, yet they still haven't find the answer... I've been in this hospital for almost 7 years now, Bless. I lose all my hope to live each day passed... When I asked you those question back then, I was implying it to myself. What can I do to keep on moving, when I'm currently dancing on the palm of death..." She stood up, looking straight towards the view in front of us.

The night sky was glimmer with the sparkling light from buildings all around us that shine the whole city of Tokyo. I wasn't able to pull out any words from my mouth at the time. I only watch her quietly as she smiles faintly while we gaze upon the scenery.

She turns towards me as she's standing on the ledge of the building while her hand hides behind her. She gracefully smiles and said to me, "I only have a few months to live... Bless, I have a request to asked you if you don't mind?"

I was speechless to know that she doesn't have much time left. It startled me and somehow it makes my heart sank, but at that time I wasn't feeling remorse or sorry for her. Instead, I felt like I wanted to help her out. But, I don't know if I'm able to. I just replied to her gently,

"What kind of request, Emilia?"

She faces towards the night sky, the stars above our heads glittering on us as if they were being the witnesses of what might have come next,

"Bless, help me live this life... Can you show me what happiness I deserve before I die?" her smile still carved on her face as if she was hoping I would say yes to her.

I wasn't able to answer her for a moment, I do want to help her out. Yet, I wasn't able to come out with an answer. Many things playing in my mind, will I be able to show her the happiness that she seeks? is this the right thing to do right now? what if I can't fulfil the promise? Somehow, the request she asked me makes me scared to grant it to her. She looks towards me once again, this time her faint smile wasn't meant that she was happy to talk to me. Yet, it was a smile to cover up her true pain from revealing that she has lost all of her hope because I wasn't able to give her my answer.

"Ahaha~ I'm sorry! I might ask for something impossible. I sound pathetic for asking you this kind of thing right now," she said softly as her eyes no longer met mine.

No, you're not the pathetic one here. It's me, I wasn't able to give you my answer truthfully, is what my mind told me.

"Just forget about it okay? I guess I'll be heading to my room now. Thank you, Bless. For listening to me," she hopped down from the ledge and slowly walks towards the fire door.

"Stop... asking me to forget all this after I learnt the truth... it wasn't right... I'm the pathetic one right now, I should give you my answer. Why aren't I doing that..." these words only played in myself. I wasn't able to tell her my answer nor how I felt at that moment. Soon before I realized it, she has already left the rooftop. The sound of the door shutting can be heard as the cold breeze suddenly blow strongly onto me. It was cold, but what makes me tremble wasn't the wind. It was my own regret for not telling her my answer.

I left the rooftop a few minutes after Emilia did. My face was all gloomy and the painful feeling in my heart still haunts me as I walk towards my room. When I open the door to my room, I saw Adam was already sleeping soon after he ate his dinner. I just sigh when I stand right in front of the door. I was hoping I would be able to talk to him about it. Maybe it wasn't a good time for it.

Besides, it will only annoy him even more. I switched the lights off and walk closer to my bed before laying down on it. Forcing myself to sleep over and over but I can't in the end, my eyes were wide open. I kept staring at the ceiling and think about what had happened on the rooftop earlier. The word "if" continuously haunts me, "What if only I could answer her truthfully? how will she react to it?". The night slowly goes by in the end. To tell the truth, it was the longest night I've ever felt in my life.