2 Breathe

I wake up cold being blinded by a bright light, the sound of the machines I'm hooked up to blaring through my ears. My throat is dry and sore, and I can't seem to lift my head up. I try to speak but all that comes out is a whisper. The beeping of the machine next to me starts to quicken as I begin to panic.

Where am I? Why am I here? Where is my sister Galina?

A nurse rushes in the room, calling for a doctor as she takes my pulse, trying to calm me down. She says words like; concussion, swelling, broken bones, and something about a coma. But all I can think about is finding out where my family is. She puts a needle in my IV and I'm suddenly relaxed. I close my eyes, and sleep takes over.

I'm running as fast as I can, screaming as loud as I can. Where did they go? I look to the left, then right, but I don't see them. I call out for them, but they're nowhere to be seen. The road is pitch black, the trees surrounding me make it hard to see anything in front of me.

"Galina where are you?" I call out for my sister, but she never answers. The car comes out of nowhere, t-boning my side of the car. It spins us around, making the car roll. I remember screaming and glass breaking. Then everything goes dark.

"No!" I shout as I sit up, breathing heavy. I take in my surroundings, noticing I'm still in the hospital. I'm alone in the room, except for the beeping noise of the heart monitor. The dream was so real, too real.

I look down at my hands, noticing my arm is wrapped up with a cast on it. My other arm has an IV in it. I pull the blankets off, taking in the rest of me. My leg is also wrapped up in a cast as well. I feel around my head, but don't find any bandages, just stitches.

"Oh good, you're awake." I jump, not expecting anyone to be in the room with me. It's my doctor. "How are you feeling?"

"W-Where am I?" I ask. He smiles at me softly.

"You're at St. Francis Hospital," he informs me. I nod slowly, trying to remember how I got here. "I'm Dr. Johnson."

"What happened? Where's my family?" I ask. The doctor takes a deep breath before sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Elijah, do you remember anything from the night of the accident?"

"I...I was driving. It was dark, the road was bumpy and full of potholes. There was a car, we were so focused on it we didn't even see the tree. I tried to hit the brakes. Then everything went dark." I tell him as it starts to come back to me.

"Your car flipped twice. The passenger's side of the car took most of the impact. Your sister Galina died on impact, you were lucky you made it out alive." He informs me.

"Galina? No, she...she was in the car with me. I was talking to her right before...no, no, no." I shake my head, my heart pounding out of my chest. "You're lying! This isn't true!" I scream, my vision becoming blurry from the tears filling my eyes.

"I'm sorry Elijah. I'll give you a minute." Dr. Johnson gets up and walks out of the room, leaving me alone. My head starts to spin, and I feel like I'm going to be sick. I bend over to the side of the bed and throw up. I sob loudly as my body trembles, vomiting until there's nothing left.

I sit up, trying to catch my breath when the door opens. In walks my mother and father, my father with his hands in his pockets. His face looks worn out and tired. My mother has her hair tied back into a bun, not one strand out of place. She's wearing a black dress with heels on. She has her head held high, her eyes piercing right through me. She looks cold and emotionless.

"So, you finally decided to wake up." My father says.

"Dad...how? H-how did this happen?" I ask, trying not to cry. My father sighs before answering me.

"I told you that damn car was a piece of junk. If you had listened to me this never would have happened," he states. My mother shakes her head, looking at me in disgust.

"This is your fault." She accuses. I look at her, my eyes filling with tears.

"M-Mom...I-I'm s-sorry," I stutter out.

"Sorry? Sorry won't bring our daughter back will it?"

"I...I..." I don't even know what to say, what can I say? My sister is dead because of me. They should have just left me there to die.

"You need to get dressed, we're leaving. Your mother and I already discussed it and you're coming home with us." My father informs me. "You've been in a coma for a week. I've already filed paperwork with the school so they won't give you a hard time about missing your finals. We'll deal with the rest of that when we get home."

"But...I...what about Galina? I need to stay here. She needs me."

"She doesn't need you anymore Elijah! She's dead!" My father yells, making me flinch. He takes a deep breath and exhales loudly. "Just get ready, we'll be waiting outside." My parents walk out the door, leaving me alone once again.

I take in the room, noticing I'm in a private room. The room is filled with flowers, balloons and get well cards. I notice the one from the school and my heart sinks. I don't want to go home with my parents. They'll just make me feel worse about what happened. I'm not sure how, but they always do.

I lay back down, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep and never wake up. I close my eyes and picture my sister and I playing at the park when we were younger. She would smile at me, laughing as we swung on the swings together. Those memories will be the only thing keeping me going.

The door opens and two officers walk in, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Elijah Kozlov?" One asks.

"Yes?" I reply.

"We need to speak to you about the accident," the other officer says. I sigh, but nod my head, allowing them to ask their questions. They ask the same questions the doctor did. I answer them the best I can. I tell them about the other car and the tree, but I don't remember anything else. They seem satisfied with my answers and thank me before they walk out.

A nurse walks in shortly after, helping me get cleaned up and dressed. I try to get out of it, but she insists that I let her help me. She helps me into a wheelchair and rolls me outside.

I take in the hot weather. It's not as hot as it usually is. We make it to my mother's SUV and I try to stand up, but I'm still weak. My father huffs in annoyance before grabbing me by the arm and lifting me up, throwing me into the back seat of the SUV. I land on my broken leg, which hurts like hell. He throws my crutches into the backseat next to me.

My mom gets into the driver's seat with my father already making his way to the passenger seat and drives off without saying a word. I lay my head against the window as I watch the hospital fade away. The whole ride is quiet, except for the sound of the engine and the radio. My mother turns up the volume on the radio to drown out the silence.

I watch as the scenery changes from buildings to trees. My father pulls out his phone, going through his emails, not paying attention to anything else around him. My mother, however, is tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, humming along to the song on the radio. The sight of it makes me sick to my stomach. How can they act so calm?

I turn my attention to the window, watching the trees and grass pass by. I close my eyes, the soft hum of the engine lulling me to sleep.

"Elijah, wake up." My eyes open to my father shaking my shoulder. "Get in the house," he demands. I unbuckle my seatbelt and climb out of the car, grabbing my crutches. I hobble inside and up the stairs to my old room.

It looks the same as it did the last time I was here. I drop my bag on the floor and sit down on the bed. I reach into my pocket and take out my phone. I unlock it and scroll through all the messages I have from my friends. I scroll through the pictures of Galina and me that are on my phone until I find one that I haven't seen before. I can tell we took it on the night of the accident. She's smiling and I'm laughing at something she said. We look happy and carefree.

I can't do this. I can't stay here. I need to leave, but I have nowhere else to go. I have no other family besides my parents and a aunt that I hardly even know other than the birthday gifts I recieve. I'm alone. I put my phone away and lay down, covering my face with my hands. I lay there, my thoughts going through my head.

I want to die.

I fall asleep to my own thoughts. I dream of Galina, laughing and smiling. I'm there with her, and we're happy. We're in the car and I'm driving. She turns up the volume and we both sing along to the music. She smiles at me, and I smile back, but the car swerves off the road, hitting the tree.

"Galina!" I scream as I sit up. I breathe heavily, looking around the room. I'm still in my old bedroom. I lay back down and sigh, closing my eyes.

I wake up to the sound of my bedroom door opening. My mother walks in, holding a tray with a bowl of soup and a bottle of water on it.

"Get up," she demands. I sit up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. She sets the tray on the bed next to me.

"Mom, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." I say. She doesn't say anything. She just stares at me for a few minutes before leaving the room and shutting the door. I take the tray and put it on my bedside table, not even bothering with the food. I just sit there and think about her.