4 Cry

PRESENT

Claudette Deveraux

The power dynamic between us changes and I'm thrown off kilter. How did he know?

"Are you stalking me?", I demand trying to shift focus to him.

"I was going to swap with Wolf so he could have break. Imagine my surprise at seeing you step out of a car when I reached your campus." He spits out without apology.

Goddamn it, I took off my sunglasses on my ride back. I don't want him to tell his club president. But why shouldn't he? I've done nothing to warrant protective feeling from him.

He moves in closer to me and I struggle to breathe.

"Where did you go?", he cages me between him and the wall. I lick my lips and look up.

"There's a bakery about 50 minutes from campus. My mom used to take my brother and I there every weekend. She let us have sweets just once a week and that was our highlight", tears well up in my eyes at the memory but I push through. "I needed to feel a connection to who I was before all this happened. I just needed a moment. I'm sorry. It's been difficult."

He looks at me for a long moment, taking in the tears streaming down my cheek before wiping them off and cupping my face.

"You can't sneak out again. I'll be with you from time to time."

The warmth I felt a moment ago from letting my heart out vanishes and I'm instantly repulsed by his touch. I can't believe this man. I have the urge to grab the closest sharp object and stab him but I control myself.

Breathe, Claudette. Just breathe.

If he's going to be watching me, I need to work on earning his trust. His guard is already up where I'm concerned.

Should I seduce him?

Am I going to be able to live with myself if I do?

What about Kai?

Would he even care?

I push away his hands and wrap my arms around him burying my tear streaked face in his chest. He seems like the type of man who needs to feel validated by playing hero for damsels in distress, so I sob for good measure. As expected, he immediately starts comforting me.

"Let it all out. I'm here", he coos and brushed my hair with one hand while the other is around me. Despite my better judgement, I do let it all out. This is a real release and its been a long time coming.

I cry for mom.

I cry for my brother.

I cry for Kai.

I cry for me.

***

Hours later I'm in Sin's arms. He ushered us to bed and thankfully did not make a move on me. I wonder where his girlfriend is. This is beyond inappropriate and I know she'd be spitting mad, but I say nothing. Its none of my business and I have no power in this situation. Opposing him won't get me his complacency and trust. I'll strike when I'm stronger.

"Is your name really Sin?" I ask. "I read somewhere that bikers have nicknames they go by instead of their legal names."

His cut has several writings on it but I don't know what any of it means.

"Road names. And my real name is Damien." He smiles at me. He seems so content just lying here with me. Sin took my tears in stride tonight and gave me comfort in a way I didn't expect him to. He surprised me today and I'm starting to think he may have an emotionally intelligent side.

"Damien", I test it out. "I like it. Why Sin?" I ask.

"Cause, I like doing bad things." He starts playing with a strand of my hair.

"You look like the type." I yawn.

"You do too."

I shake my head. I look harmless. That's what makes me lethal. What the hell is he talking about?

"It's true. No one else notices because you're not flashy or loud but I see you, Claudette. Your confidence is silent. You walk into a room like you own it and you know your opinion has weight. You know your worth, so you don't offer yourself freely. You don't offend but your respect needs to be earned." He kisses my forehead before getting up to leave. "Goodnight."

"Thank you." I say when he reaches the door. "I appreciated the company."

***

I'm making myself a coffee at the kitchen in the compound when Dixie comes in. It's just after six and I head out for work soon. I'm opening at the café today.

She halts when she sees me, accusation in her glare as her eyes sweep over my frame. Her make up is a mess and it's obvious she hasn't slept yet. She looks like she'd been sucking dick for eight years straight without taking a break- haggard, hair frizzy, liner runny and with red blotches covering most of her skin. If she's expecting to intimidate someone, she is not dressed for it.

Physically, she looks strong, probably regular gym training, and she's gorgeous but even I can tell she lacks depth and substance. She doesn't alarm me but, clearly, I bother her to kingdom come.

She walks to me and faces off like there's something to prove here.

"Don't feel special. Sin doesn't care about you. He'll have his fun and before you know it, he'll be fucking me again. Sin and I are never over for long." She says to me and I wonder what the hell happened to her as a kid.

I ignore her word vomit and take a sip of my coffee before speaking.

"May I ask you something in the hope that you won't take offence?"

She raises an eyebrow and I take that as a go-ahead.

"Why is being his comfort zone good enough for you?"

Her face contorts like she's got a bad taste in her mouth and I know that whatever she's got going on has nothing to do with me. She put herself in this situation and her mind is so deep in this rut that she can't see a way out. Whatever he does to her, she doesn't even acknowledge as wrong and that isn't the trait of a human being I can respect.

I set my cup in the dishwasher and walk out.