Lest Thou Tears May Fall

I once reckoned that pursuing my heart’s desire would bring me joy, happiness and contentment but it was all just my wishful thinking. I never thought that I would suffer this much nor I thought that I would sacrifice a lot just to attain that “happiness”. Never thought these was all my worst nightmares. Back then, you were different. You smile often with a carefree vibe. You worry not. But maybe the gentle and warm Ryle that made my heart flutter in so many ways might be a facade, after all I was just a young and a clueless woman that can be fooled easily with white lies and fell in love in just a glimpse of an eye. Three years of marriage with Ryle doesn’t mean a happy marriage life but an exhausting and a miserable years of my life. But still, I kept up for the thought that I would be able to garner the love and affection I’ve been yearning for from him. But it never presented itself rather it went straight down the pit. All I want from him is to love me even for a day. Just a single day to make me feel that I am the most gorgeous, and glamorous woman in his gazes and the woman he want to spend the rest of his life. Maybe, just maybe I will have the motivation to fight and live on. Because I love him more than I love myself. I love him more than anything else. If he could only see that and not my flaws. If he could only understand me. If he could only discern right through me. Perhaps things were different.