I'm Not A Hero... I'm An Outer Disciple

Dreaming about the Goddess' big oppai, I woke up to yelling.

"Stupid outer disciples!" a 16-year old boy hit his hand onto the tin roof of the building we were in. He was outside of the open doorway, but it wasn't for long as he strode his way inside. "Wake up!"

Outer disciples? I glanced down at my white- and clearly low quality- clothes. F*ck! Outer disciples are supposed to be treated like sh*t!

I looked around and noticed how the other boys stood up as fast as lightning. Oh sh*t, I probably should stand up too.

[Initiating Host. Calibrating Host... completed 1%. Estimated time remaining: 5 minutes]

What?! My eyes widened at the menu that popped up in front of me. A system...? Wait, wasn't that supposed to be my golden finger? Ah yeah. I remember that now.

"Stand up!" the inner disciple stood before me, his eyes shooting daggers before me. If looks could kill, his would be a nuclear weapon and I would be pulverized.

I opened my mouth to respond, but I couldn't move. Literally. None of the muscles in my hands, mouth, legs, nowhere, could move.... except for the muscles of my eyes.

I darted my eyes upwards and made eye contact with the inner disciple. A vein throbbed in his forehead, and I inwardly flinched. I'm f*cked.

"Why aren't you standing up, trash?"

I'm f*cking trying, okay, dumb*ss?!? You try to move when a mystical power is stopping you from doing so, alright!

He moved over towards me and then bent to a horse stance. WTF? What is he trying to do?

He breathed in deeply before whooshing his breath out quickly and then stabbing his fist out in a quick motion.

I still couldn't move.

It went in slow motion; his fist arced its way towards my defenseless stomach and just before it connected, I received a notification from my system.

[Detected danger. Archive system will be temporarily activated.]

Archive system? I'll have to beat people with f*cking books?!?

[Host has three choices:

1. Item

2. Technique

3. Other

What will Host choose?]

JUST PICK WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRR!

[Other has been chosen. 'Whatever' has been converted to 'no restrictions'. System has analyzed the situation and determined that 'no restrictions' will assist Host. Awaiting feedback... 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Ding! Completed. Host has received book from the archive, 'No Restrictions'.]

F*CK, HE'S ALMOST ABOUT TO CRUSH ALL OF MY ORGANS! HURRY UPPPPPPPP!!!

[Ding! Host has received book, 'Bunny Rabbit in the Hole'. Congrats!]

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How the heck is this supposed to help meeeeeeeeeee?!?

I closed my eyes and everything went dark.

....

'He's f*cking useless,' Umber thought, sighing within.

Gaining control of Devin's body, he watched coolly as the fist connected with his stomach.

It was going to hurt like a b*tch...

Eh, whatever, it wasn't him who was going to feel the pain, anyway.

Making eye contact with the inner disciple, Umber inwardly smirked.

His eyes darted to the system's menu in a split second, and he quickly manipulated it with just his mind so that he could open 'Bunny Rabbit in the Hole'.

It was, of course, about a rabbit. And it was entering a hole.

Millions of thoughts went through Umber's mind, but one prevailed.

It was a hint... the book was telling them to remain inconspicuous.

D*mn system. They knew that already.

Sighing, Umber once again made eye contact with the inner disciple. There were a few seconds left until he could move.

"What are you looking at?!" the disciple looked like a raging bull.

Umber calmly moved Devin's body into a more casual sitting position. Looking like a King on his throne, he purposefully scoffed at the inner disciple. "I'm looking at an idiot."

The boy's face turned red, and Umber could almost see the fumes coming out of the inner disciple's face.

Heh. What a kid.

Umber calmly stood up and watched the boy with inscrutable eyes.

Locating his weaknesses in a few seconds, Umber slapped his hand on the boy's forehead before he quickly exerted force, causing the boy to fall onto the ground in a mere seconds. He looked down, smirking slightly.

So what if cultivators had a slightly stronger body?

Or a cultivation path.

Or a diantan.

They still had weaknesses that his Krav Maga can exploit.

And seeing from the pitiful state of the inner disciple before him, Umber was sure that their techniques were based entirely on their cultivation and hadn't focused on their body at all.

'That's weird though,' a feminine voice whispered in his ear, and Umber imperceptibly turned his head to the side.

'How so, Willow?'

'That doesn't make sense. Looking into the memory of Devin, cultivation novels usually have people focus on either the path of the body, or the path of the spirit, or both. When you look at the other disciples-'

'They're all unusually weak, yeah.'

'Exactly. Something isn't right here. And just because they're outer disciples, it doesn't mean that they haven't chosen their focus yet.'

'I see what you mean. What do you think we should do?'

'Wait and see. You already pulverized the guy... even before I could warn you.'

'Oops.'

'Crystal thinks that Umber did good! Full thumbs up!!'

'Nobody asked you, Crystal.'

'Waaaaaaah! Onii-chan. Scold Willow!'

'Stop fighting, you two! This is serious business!'

''Fine.''

Umber shook his head and moved his gaze to the rest of the disciples in the room. He casually looked down at the inner disciple who fainted, before he raised his head once more to address everybody else.

"Uh, does anybody know what he wanted us to do?"

The other disciples looked at each other before they simultaneously pointed towards the door.

"Thanks," Umber flashed his signature wolf grin before he made his way out of the door.

'Hey, Umber.'

'What, Willow?'

'Don't push it. This is too much of a drastic change. We don't even know the identity of this body!'

Umber scoffed as he exited the building that they were in. 'It doesn't matter.'

'What!?'

'They seemed really afraid of that inner disciple guy, yet all of them had signs of resistance in their eyes... which means that they all had just become outer disciples. If all of them are new, then the previous body, who was with them, would be the same.'

'So? It doesn't mean that what you did won't grab people's suspicions! Especially since the martial arts here isn't as advanced!'

'That's exactly what I'm going for.'

Umber mischievously bared his teeth, a twinkle in his eye. 'I won't let us have anything but the best… and that goes for a 'Master', too.'