13 Let Go of the Past

"I still can't believe this happened, these poor little kids! How can god do such a thing?!". A woman sitting on the bench behind Elian yapped constantly and her loud and shrill voice with an exaggeratedly sorrowful tone was making him more and more anxious. He kept trying not to listen to her. He looked around, the hall was congested with people wearing black suits and dresses, chatting and murmuring. Some kept glancing at him from a distance with a look of pity or sympathy. In the front there was a wooden coffin covered with a huge pile of white flowers. Elian's eyes couldn't help but look for his brother among the crowd, who had asked him to sit quietly in his place, until he came back. He finally spotted him in the middle of the hall talking to his uncle. While he sat there waiting for his brother, he felt a small tap on his shoulder that made him turn. He was relieved to see that it was Irene. He had a lot of questions in his mind and the atmosphere of the place felt somewhat scary. "Irene, Why are we here? Are mom and dad not coming? It's my birthday, she said we'll go shopping...", Elian asked with his eyes filled with tears. Irene pulled him into a hug tightly and tears began running down her cheeks. "Everything will be fine! Don't be scared. Your older brother told you to be a good boy until we go home right? I'm here for you and for him and I'll always be there for you my child, always....". Elian wiped his tears off his cheeks, broke away from her embrace and sat back onto the bench. "I'll be a good boy, mom will come back if I behave right?", Irene couldn't say anything, her tears kept gushing down, looking at the little boy sitting next to her, "She'll come back right? I'm gonna behave I promise!!", the boy cried, "Irene? Say something! Nobody's telling me anything about her-".

Elian felt a sudden jerk down his spine that snapped him out of the dream and abruptly woke him up. He was breathing heavily and his entire body was covered with sweat. He reached to the glass of water sitting on the nightstand and gulped it down his throat. As his breathing came back to normal, he wondered why he had this nightmare again after so long.

The more Elian tried to compose himself and his mind, the worse he felt. His brain was always muddled up with emotions he couldn't completely understand. He felt like he had done something wrong but didn't know what it was. He felt angry but didn't know with whom. He decided to take a day off from work because of all the turmoil taking place in his head and because he wanted to save himself from questions and judgements that'll be passed because of the picture Anna had posted yesterday.

Elian was standing in front of the refrigerator to find something he could eat. It had been a long time since Elian had a meal at home. He heard the door open and close. There was a sound of someone's steps heading towards the kitchen. He recalled that Irene had been on leave for the past few days. He turned behind and saw her smiling face looking at him. "Oh my! Are you standing in the kitchen? I can't believe my eyes!", she chuckled. Her comment made Elian smile slightly. "I can't go to work. I don't feel very well", Elian explained. "Oh lord! you must be really sick. You hardly ever skip work. I'll make you something nice, You should see doctor.", Irene stepped towards him and touched Elian's forehead with the back of her palm. "No. It's not that, I just don't know why I'm.....Its nothing", Elian wanted to explain but couldn't find the words. Irene immediately saw through him, she was aware that it had been difficult for Elian to share his thoughts. Irene tried to change the subject, "Oh I made some cookies back at home! I thought I'd bring some here. And I know you don't eat this stuff anymore but Kian's going to love these. He really loves my cooking. We ate together everyday. Would you like to have some?". As soon as Kian's name was mentioned, Elian realized Irene didn't know about the incident, she was not in the mansion at the time. "He doesn't stay here anymore", Elian felt slightly nervous telling her about what happened. "What do you mean? His arm got healed?", she asked curiously. Elian paused for a second, "No, I had to kick him out, he lied to me", he replied. Irene's face looked puzzled, "What do you mean?". "He lied about being a beta, he was an omega, he was trying to lure me so that he could use me. So I threw him out", his tone became slightly bitter. "Why was he trying to do that?", his words weren't making sense to Irene. "Because he's an omega, that's what they do!", Elian said angrily . "So you kicked him out because he's an omega?", she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Yes, I don't wanna talk about this anymore", he began walking out of the door. "Why do you think that dear?", she continued to ask despite Elian's unwillingness to discuss it further. He sighed, "You know why I think that, because of what happened to father, and what it did to us", he replied annoyedly. "That's not the reason dear, your father was the reason. It was his decision to do what he did. He wasn't being controlled by anyone", Irene's words brought tears to Elian's eyes, "You're wrong! He left because of that omega, And I won't be like him". Irene walked over to him and held him by his shoulders, "If you don't want to be like him, learn to live with your true feelings rather than hiding them or suppressing them, I know you've been hurting for a long time dear, it is time you forgive and forget", she tried to convince him. Irene had the responsibility of guiding Elian since she was the only parent figure he had left in his life. "I can't forgive them, they caused me the pain that has scarred me for life", he replied. "You're not scarred for life dear, you can heal, but you need to forgive first. Because if you don't, your pain will only grow and it will give birth to hate". Irene really hoped that Elian could let of the past and start afresh again. "I don't know if I can do that", he quickly stepped away from her and left.

Like Elian even Irene had heard people gossiping about Damien being seduced by an omega. But the fact that they had imprinted so deeply on his mind was news to her. Ever since the accident whenever Irene and him talked, they had avoided mentioning anything about Damien or his family in an effort to forget the bad memories. But now she was realizing that it was a mistake.

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The sun was shining brightly and the sky was clear. It was Kian's first day in the bakery after he found out about himself being an omega. He had thought over the circumstances he was in several times and reached the conclusion that just because he was an omega doesn't mean he has to feel vulnerable and scared. He decided he would do his best to make sure he never needs anyone else to protect him. "You look good today! Looks like I knocked some sense into you", Will smiled at Kian. "I really didn't have any option, so I guess this is what I'll have to do". "Oh by the way, is Allis okay? You know after that day we told him..", Kian diverted the topic. "Hmm? oh yeah, you know how he is, he just internalizes everything", Will answered. "Yeah, I know, I can't believe he told you about his feelings for Wayne, I mean he hardly opens up", Kian said while looking around for his notebook. "He never really told me'', Will replied plainly. "What do you mean?", Kian asked. "I just figured that by noticing him whenever Wayne dropped by or whenever he was mentioned". Kian turned back to Will, "What?". "I can read people Kian, I've told you that before '', Will claimed. "Will! This whole time I thought it was a real thing. Ugh, I shouldn't have listened to you".