1 Pregnant?

"Excuse me ,can I get some ..pregnancy tests."

"Sorry,what was that miss?"

"Some pregnancy tests" I said in a louder timbre.Isn't it obvious I'm asking for pregnancy tests but I'm too embarrassed to ask?

To my surprise,the person behind the counter's expression still remained indifferent from before I asked for pregnancy tests and still as flat.I guess over here it's often to hear a 15 year-old asking for pregnancy tests now,and she got used it. But I can't get used to the stares and wide eyes from the other customers when I just start to say 'pregnancy tests' .No matter how many times I got them ,from different drugstores,the customers always have the same expressions after what I ask even if it's not asked to them.

My last over-the-counter pregnancy test ,after the fourth one I bought 6 hours ago.I don't want to go to the hospital just yet but I need to make sure I am really pregnant.I can't be,how can I be pregnant right now with all these expectations and dreams on me?All going to be shattered with one statement,

'I am pregnant' .

I went home and took out the pregnancy test out of the box,hoping for the first time a faint line will not appear ,for the first time after four tests I will be relieved over-the-counter pregnancy tests could be wrong, but parts of my body are already getting ready to face the outcome.I took the pregnancy test in the toilet and waited.A faint line started to form,tears started to roll down my cheeks until my face was wet and my hair tangled by my own fingers wrenching my own hair.

how am I going to tell him that I am pregnant?How am I going to tell him he is the father of the growing baby in my belly when he just wanted me on his bed but not by his side as his girlfriend?

My chest tightened, intensifying the weight on my chest making me unable to breathe properly as I hiccuped as I cried,I covered my mouth to avoid waking up anyone in my house from the sound of someone crying in their house. More importantly ,avoid them from knowing the reason why I am crying.

12 :31 a.m .

He should be awake,I dialled his number and called him.My heart raised and fell with every ring of the phone.

"Hello?Jess?"

My heart sank.

"Hello?Jess what is it,you want to come over?You want to..have more of me huh?" He chuckled.

I wanted to speak,but my throat felt constricted,all the words that I wanted to scream only came out as a single whisper, 'Mason.."

"Yes Jess , I know what you want don't be embarassed and come to me baby." He cooed.

Anger,pain and sorrow spread me all at once,.Whenever I called him all he thought of is sex but never me as a person,just because he is a slave to his sexual urge does not mean I am too a slave to my own sexual impulse but instead, I am too just a slave, towards the love I had or still have for him.

"Mason, I need to talk to you."

"Not this again Jess,I told you I have changed, I can't be that sweet boyfriend you knew anymore because he doesn't exist, If you have a problem with me then why don't you leave?Or come to my bed,let's fix your emotions with a good sex"

I closed my eyes and let the words slip out of my lips,a whisper I hope he didn't hear through the phone.

"I am pregnant."

He didn't speak,for few seconds not a voice of anger or confusion escaped from him as if a doubt was cleared in his mind.Then I heard the sound of the call end and threw my phone across the white marble linoleum floor and marched my way outside the house and towards his in anger and distress.