11 The boat

I never learnt how to swim, that is why I am always so cautious near water, and my anxiety doesn't help either. I always wanted to be a strong independent woman able to take care of my own business without anyone's help. I grew up having the best role model, my mother. She is the kind of creature that can make the most delicios meal, best comfort food in a stormy shitty day and also she could chop wood and help my stepfather build houses. She is kind and hard working and always ready to do anything that humanly possible to achieve her goals.

I'm 21 and along this period of time I've met all kinds of people, people who showed my love, care and support but also people who only were around as long as I had something to offer to them, otherwise they would move in to the next goofball. I got to a point when I realised that I should only surrounder myself with genuine friends, who would appreciate me for who I really am, without trying to "fix" me. Let's take for example this: I am pretty short and I do not like make up or high heels or deep cleavages. I like comfortable clothes, I grew up being a tomboy, but I also wear skirts and dresses from time to time but they are not really my thing, and sure I like to wear my brothers shirts, but that is just because they are cooler, haven't you noticed how on the women aisle you do no always have so many options as in the man aisle and do not even get me started on the price.

The idea is that I like to be feminine from time to time and wear some nice dress, but I will always prefer my pijamas.

So yeah, I do not do make up (maybe just a bit of chapstick😉) , I do not wear jewelry, I am very shy around other people, especially men and I am not the type of girl to be carried around like a trophy by a man. I hate to receive gifts from people that I have barely met and especially expensive gifts, because with that act of so called kindness comes a lot of unexpected favors.

I am not the type of girl who likes to go out a lot. I am the type of girl who would prefer that you'd introduce me to your pets, showme your favourite songs, movies and books and with who you'd like to talk about comic books, greek mythology, science and physics.

In life we have to be careful what we choose to do and with who. My mom alwats told my to be careful while choosing my friends, because when you allow someone to know you, youy feelings and deepest secrets and wishes you also allow they to dissapoint you at some point. And once someone breaks your trust us so damn hard to gain back.

Think of it this way, you are in a boat, and you are allowed to take with you just the bare neccesities, alongside with those dyring your life you may take your thoughts, your friends, your dreams and fears. But you hace to be extremely careful to not overestimate the power of your boat by filling it with useless things. Because at some point they may drag you down with them and even if you know how to swim you could freeze to death or be eaten by some monster.

Think it like this, if a storm may come, what would you do? Who would be there in the boat to help you get through it? Who would help you stay dry and get safe to the shore? And who would be the first to abandon you?

So be careful on your choices, value and love yourself just the way you are. Do not anything and anyone tell you how to leave your life. Do what makes you happy and do it your own way.

Let your smile change the world, but do not let the world change your smile.